Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Let me start by apologizing for my wife,” Joseph began as he handed Dorian a glass filled with whiskey. “She is… a little more outspoken than she needs to be.”
“That is one way of saying it.” Dorian took the glass and had a sip. “I will not enlighten you with the other way.”
Joseph grimaced. “I asked her – told her, in fact. Not to say anything. You would not believe the trip here. Or perhaps you would.” He had a long sip of his drink, exhaling as if from pain. “She is not a fan of yours.”
“And the reason?” Dorian asked, another light sip of his drink. “Or is it the usual?” Dorian was used to people thinking poorly of him, a natural consequence of the life he had chosen and his refusal to correct his reputation because he didn’t think it was anybody’s business.
“You wife is to blame, in fact.”
“Penelope?”
Joseph rolled his eyes. “My dear wife seems to have gotten it into her head that you and Penelope are mortal enemies. Every wrong she has suffered, all that has happened to her, and your name is the cause that she returns to.” He sighed deeply and sipped further at his drink.
“She blames you for leaving Penelope alone for three years, and she seems to think that her being here now is due to some sort of… I don’t even now,” he scoffed.
“That you are forcing her here against her will. She wasn’t exactly clear on what she thought to be the truth. ”
“Ah, so she was merely defending my wife. How gallant.”
“And stupid,” Jospeh said. “I assure you, it will not happen again. I have spoken to her and where I cannot say that she is sorry, she promises that she will at least behave herself this weekend.”
“How kind of her.”
Dorian could not help but rudiment on the very real fact that the weekend had not even begun and already it threatened to turn into a complete disaster. And for once, it was not even his fault!
Although I suppose that isn’t entirely true. Despite Albina being very much out of line, she is not wrong in her assumption of the way I treated Penelope in the past. An action for which I am starting to regret…
It was early evening of the same day that Jospeh and his wife had arrived at the estate, shortly before supper was due to be served, which gave Dorian and his friend time alone to share in a single drink as their wives readied themselves – an affair which always took far longer than it did the men.
The remainder of the day had not been entirely unpleasant at least, as once Penelope put Albina in her place, she kept her mouth shut and allowed for the others to enjoy the day.
Such a serene and effortless day it had been, in fact, that Dorian found himself looking forward to supper. But not because he relished the chance to speak further with his old friend. Rather, it was Penelope who had his interest. Which was as unsurprising as it was a problem.
“Speaking of your dear wife,” Joseph began as if he was able to read Dorian’s mind. “Might I ask what exactly is going on with the two of you.”
“How do you mean?”
Joseph snorted. “Come now, Dorian. We can talk around the point and pretend that you have no idea what I am saying. Or you can come out with it.” He looked flatly at Dorian. “What on earth is she doing here? And why on earth are the two of you so…” He clicked his tongue.
“So what?”
“So congenial.” He raised a knowing eyebrow, which had Dorian taking a sip of his drink in an effort to give himself time to think.
Not that all the time in the world would make much of a difference. For that to be the case, Dorian would need an answer. And just as his friend was confused about the situation at hand, so was Dorian.
Is it worth pretending that my relationship with Penelope hasn’t changed these past two weeks? And is it worth pretending that I don’t want it to?
Things had been so much easier when Dorian and his wife were on the same page.
Neither wanting their marriage to work. Neither wanting to be in one another’s life.
Even the deal they had made, where it was odd and would likely cause some tension, that she planned on leaving once it was done felt like a stay of execution, leaving Dorian free to pretend he did not have to worry.
It was these last few days where all that had changed.
Dorian remembered a few evenings ago, when Barabra had joined them for supper. How effortless it had been. How enjoyable – possibly the most he’d enjoyed himself in years. His sister too. And when he’d walked Penelope to her room and asked her that favor…
He was not such a fool that he couldn’t tell what had been on her mind.
That was not his purpose, but that she reacted that way was telling.
If Dorian did not know any better he would have said that his wife wanted him.
And not because he could give her a child, but because she was attracted to him physically in ways she hadn’t been before.
And he wanted her too.
Still, he was not sure what that meant exactly.
If he should act on how he felt, or if he should push her back and pretend otherwise.
One would see her leave and he would be free from her for good.
While the other… was there a chance that something might develop between them? And if so, what exactly?
“There is nothing to explain,” Dorian said simply, forced to look away from his friend because the lie would be obvious on his face. “She is here to help me and once the party is done with, she will go home.”
“But why is she here to help?” Joseph pressed. “To what end – for three years you were happy to pretend she did not exist. What changed?”
Dorian balked… but only for a second. “Barabra,” he lied. “I knew that she would be able to help me with my sister. That is the reason.”
Joseph narrowed his eyes. “As you say. Even if it seems to me that there is more to this little… whatever it is, than you are willing to admit.”
“How do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, Dorian,” he scoffed. “The duke I know would never need his wife to step in for him – he would never allow it. And that she did…” He shrugged and threw back the rest of his drink. “She cares for you.”
“She doesn’t.”
“She does,” Joseph countered. “Just as you care for her…”
Dorian scowled at his friend in warning, not willing to discuss this further because he did not warrant discussion. But he knew well enough why his friend thought the way he did, just as he knew the lies were getting harder to swallow.
It had felt strangely nice to have Penelope defend him today.
Not something Dorian wanted, but to have her there in his corner, defending him was unlike anything he had experienced.
It had always been he who looked after those that needed it, never thinking that someone might want to do the same for him.
Never thinking that someone would care for him enough to do it.
Does she care for me though? Beyond what I can give her? Beyond mere attraction? Am I simply reading into what isn’t there?
“Whatever it is…” Joseph started across the room where he put his empty glass down. “It is good for you. I will say that much.”
“How do you mean?”
Joseph turned and smiled. “I’ve known you most of your life, Dorian.
Since before you left for the war – and since you returned.
You might be the middle sibling, but you’ve always acted as if you were alone.
Dammit, as if you wanted to be alone. And I guess that…
” His smile grew. “It is nice to see that there is someone else in your life that you might care for. Who thinks to do the same for you, for a change.”
Dorian had no idea what to say to that.
Luckily it was then that Reginald arrived and told the two men that supper was waiting. Dorian threw back his drink and walked with Joseph to the dining room table where he was greeted by a sight that made his heart soar.
First there was Barbara, dressed elegantly in a flowing gown, looking a little awkward but laughing softly at something that Penelope was saying to her.
Next was Penelope, and when she caught Dorian watching her she winked, and he beamed.
He had asked her to bring Barbara into the light, and she was doing it without question.
Not because he offered her anything. Not because she had to, or thought to use it against him.
But because she wanted to do it. Because she wanted to help.
Dorian took his seat at the head of the table and Penelope took the one to his immediate right.
“You look lovely,” he said to her.
She frowned as if she thought he was joking. “Is that right?”
“It is,” he said seriously. “I might even say beautiful.”
Her cheeks flushed pink, and she looked away with embarrassment. “Thank you… as do you – handsome, I mean.”
“I am crushed, madam, crushed. I was hoping ‘pretty’.” He laughed and she laughed with him. Although he noticed Barabra watching the action curiously, he did not care.
And because he did not care, Dorian settled into supper with his wife, his sister, and his friends, feeling as relaxed and at peace as he had in years.
He watched Penelope closely through much of it, for the first time wondering what it might be like if he was to stop lying to himself and take a chance like he never knew he wanted.
Did he have it in himself to be happy? Did he deserve such a thing? Barbara was still his main purpose, but if this weekend went as he wanted it to, who knew what might happen next?
And that was a thought that for the first time excited him.