Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“You see, I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” Penelope said to Barbara, holding her hand as she spoke to the young woman. “And to think, you were scared.”
“I was not scared,” Barabra grumbled, pushing her lips into a pout. “I was merely… cautious.”
“For no reason,” Penelope pointed out. “Admit it, you’re having fun.”
Barbara rolled her eyes. “It has hardly been two hours. It’s a little soon to say such things, isn’t it.”
“You can deny it all you want, but I can tell that you are.” Penelope winked at the young woman. “Your lies are unbecoming.”
Barbara groaned. “Gosh, you are annoying.”
“I prefer to think of myself as charming.”
Barbara was doing her best to glare but she could not keep her smile at bay. This had Penelope laughing, a sensation that felt rather good and was much needed.
As things currently stand, I could do with a reason to laugh.
She hoped that the chaos of the garden party would distract her. Two hours into the weekend, the party now in full swing, and it should have been doing just that. Also, with her sisters having arrived earlier than the rest of the guests, Penelope had plenty to keep her mind busy with.
Indeed, a quick glance about the garden and she confirmed that everything was going exactly as she planned.
The guests had arrived. The drinks and food were being taken advantage of.
The music was pleasant, the chatter was loud but not overbearing.
And from the looks on the faces that she could see, everyone was having a wonderful time.
Despite it all… still, she could not escape from that singular thought that threatened to break her each time it pushed to the fore of her mind as it had been doing since last evening.
“Do you know who she reminds me of?” Evelina said with a coy smirk.
“What are you talking about?” Penelope’s eyes had begun to wander, searching further than she wanted, desperate to find the one person who she was just as desperate to avoid. But with her sister’s words, she was forced back into the conversation.
“I think you know,” Evelina said, flashing her eyes next.
“Who?” Barbara looked between them. “Who do I remind you of?”
Evelina beamed. “You, Penelope. That is who.”
“Really?” Barabra asked, appearing delighted by the comparison. She had since met each of Penelope’s sisters and despite Penelope’s initial reservations, she had warmed up to them in the same way she had Penelope.
The young woman had changed much these past few days.
She was still shy and awkward. Still unsure of herself and clearly would have preferred to have been alone in her room.
But that she was trying so hard was noticeable, and that she was willing to at least pretend that she was enjoying herself was a huge step forward.
“The two of you are so similar you might be sisters,” Evelina said rightly.
“Do not be ridiculous,” Penelope scoffed.
“Oh?” Evelina cocked an eyebrow at her. “I seem to remember not so long ago that you, little sister, had to be dragged by your thumbs, kicking and screaming the whole way, if we wanted to get you out of the house.”
“I was not!”
“Remember the Manchester Ball?” Evelina pressed
“What was that?” Barbara asked excitedly. “What happened?”
Evelina laughed. “Penelope forced herself to attend the first ball of the Season – which she made a huge fuss about, of course. And once she did attend, she immediately looked for her chance to flee.”
“Penelope! You did not tell me this,” Barbara laughed.
“It is because my sister, as she so often does, is exaggerating.”
“And what part am I exaggerating, exactly?” Evelina rebuked.
Penelope scowled. “Well… first of all… you make it seem that I… I was not trying to…” Evelina was grinning with triumph. “Oh, be quiet,” Penelope snapped.
Barbabra burst into hysterics and Evelina snatched her glass and indicated for a waiter to refill it. They were drinking lemonade, as Dorian had asked that his sister not drink alcohol today. But from the way she was laughing and how red her face was turning, you wouldn’t know it.
Penelope shook her head as if the comparison was not true, but she could not deny the similarities. Funny that she’d never realized it herself, now wondering if Barbara’s future might have in store anything like what had happened to Penelope.
I sure hope not. Barbara, for all her flaws, deserves better than what happened to me. And I will need to keep my eye on her this weekend, making sure that whoever does try and court her has only the best intentions.
A fine idea but with a clear obstacle that Penelope would need to surmount because no sooner did she decide on this, did she look past her sister and into the garden party, spying who she could only guess to be the first suitor that Barbara might have to deal with this weekend.
And worse than that, he wasn’t alone.
“Oh no…” she said to herself before she could help it.
“What?” Barbara caught the expression on her face, followed her gaze, and then grimaced. “Oh… wonderful.”
It was Dorian who had Penelope staring. He was walking through the garden, his sights set on her like an arrow fired from a bow. With him walked a young man in his early twenties, tall and gangly, red of hair, fidgeting terribly with his hands the whole while.
“Who is that he’s with?” Evelina asked.
Penelope did not know the answer, but she knew the intention.
This entire weekend was designed for Barbara to find herself a suitor, and by the looks of things Dorian was doing as he promised.
The first of many, she was sure, no time wasted because as he told her so often, his sister meant the world to him and he would do anything for her.
“Oh…” Barbara took Penelope by the hand. “I don’t… what if… what do I do?” She was shaking nervously.
“You don’t have to do anything,” Penelope assured her. “Be polite. Smile. I am sure your brother will do most of the talking.”
“Ah, I see,” Evelina said. “It starts.”
Seeing Dorian come for her and Penelope’s mind raced back to the one place she had been so desperate to keep it from all day – all weekend, she hoped, but that had last less than two hours.
It was last evening, she was back standing before the duke, their lips were pressed together, her heart was soaring, her world and everything in it was falling perfectly into place…
only to be torn from her like a limb getting hacked off.
She still could not believe what had happened.
For a few short and glorious seconds, Penelope dared to let herself believe that Dorian wanted more from this marriage than he had given her.
And she was ready to give the same to him.
No more confusion. No more denying what she knew to be true in her heart.
The emptiness inside of her filling like it had not done in years and her life looked to finally be complete…
And just as quickly as it started, it ended. Dorian pulled away, said goodnight, and slammed the door in her face. And she was left standing there, alone and more confused than ever.
If I had wondered how he felt before that, now I know it for fact. He wants nothing to do with me. A feeling which is mutual.
“Evelina…” Penelope slowly pulled her hand from Barbara’s. “Perhaps we should go –”
“What?!” Barbara was on her. “Go? Where -- why? Please, Penelope, I need you…” She could not have looked more terrified.
“You don’t,” Penelope assured her softly. “Dorian will not leave your side, I am sure of it. Let him do the talking, smile and laugh when you think you must, and you will be fine.”
“But… but… but..”
Penelope felt awful for abandoning Barbara.
But she couldn’t bear to face Dorian either.
To pretend that everything was fine, to put on airs of happiness and civility for the sake of the party.
He was the one that had forced this most awkward situation, so he was the one who should suffer its consequences.
“Evelina…” Penelope came to a decision. “Might you stay with her?”
Evelina frowned. “Me? Why don’t…” She saw the pleading look in Penelope’s eyes and then glanced past them, taking note of Dorian. “Right, yes. Of course.”
“Thank you.”
“Penelope…” Barbara winced.
“I’ll come find you after, I promise.” She took her hand and gave it a squeeze, then pulled it free again and slowly stepped away.
It was just then that Dorian and the young lord were approaching, so close that Penelope could almost smell him as she could last night. It was in her head, of course, but that just told of how resounding the effect of their moment had been.
She was quick to hurry away after that. Guilt crushed her, but the need to avoid her husband was enough to see her commit to the cause. Besides, she was sure that Evelina would take good care of her.
As she went, Penelope looked over her shoulder just in time to see Dorian making the introductions. Her heart broke to see Barbara, how darn awkward and terrified she was…
It was a terrible do, leaving her like that, but she felt she had no choice.
Worse that this party was only two hours in and there was a whole weekend to get through.
Could she avoid Dorian for the rest of it?
Should she approach him and talk about what happened?
And what was in store for them once the weekend ended?
Or rather… what did she even want anymore?
All good questions, none of which Penelope had an answer for. And even if she had done, she wasn’t so certain she would have liked whatever answer she found.