Chapter 13
Evelyn was still reeling the next morning.
She hoped Asher didn’t notice just how much their kiss had affected her. She knew he desired a connection without sentiment. A partnership more strategic than emotional.
It was a wonder that she had been able to walk straight as they returned to the carriage.
But that kiss…. She couldn’t stop thinking about the reason for it.
He had likely assumed they had needed to hide their identities, but it had meant so much more to her.
Unfortunately.
For she had no desire to fall in love with a man who didn’t love her back. To have to spend her life with him, knowing that he didn’t feel the same as she did, would be excruciating.
She had to remember that, like it or not, she was one half of a marriage that was a matter of duty and appearances — not love, not desire, despite how that kiss had felt to her.
To him, it was just another kiss. He was a duke and used to elegant, compliant ladies, not a bluestocking currently sitting in a bed surrounded by coded notes and mechanical sketches.
She would clean it up before she was discovered, but she couldn’t help that this was how her mind worked — scattered and unorganized on the outside, while within, all the pieces clicked into place like a perfectly oiled machine.
A knock on her door had her quickly scrambling to tidy it all into organized piles, but it was futile for it would take far too long. Giving up, she hurried to the door, opening it just wide enough to peek out and find Thalia standing there with a hesitant smile.
“Is all well?” Thalia asked.
“Of course,” Evelyn said, her hand following Thalia’s gaze to the top of her head, where she belatedly realized she had haphazardly piled her hair, her quill pen sticking out of it.
“When you didn’t appear at breakfast, Asher was concerned.
I told him I would check on you, as he seemed hesitant to do so himself,” Thalia said, biting her lip, her eyes straying past Evelyn through the crack in the door.
Evelyn understood, for she was sure it made her appear to be hiding something.
“Goodness, my apologies. I became caught up in a few things. I will be down in a moment, once I tidy everything.”
“I can wait for you.”
“No, it’s fine, I…” Evelyn started, then trailed off, realizing how this must appear.
She had taken dinner in her room last night, too uncertain about facing Asher after that kiss.
The carriage ride home after their incident had been tense, with desire and uncertainty hanging in the air, as though each of them wanted to say something but neither knew what or how.
Then Evelyn had even sent her maid away this morning.
“Very well,” she said with a sigh, opening the door and allowing Thalia to enter while she walked toward the mirror to check her appearance, startled when she saw herself. No wonder Thalia had worn that expression.
She knew Asher was downstairs, had heard the water in the washbasin through the wall that joined their rooms together, had felt the thump of his footsteps through the floor, and had heard the door close behind him.
He was obviously an early riser, keeping to a precise schedule, everything orderly and routine.
Whereas she… Evelyn turned around, looking at her bed again, finding Thalia’s eyes were wide as she took it all in.
“Are you… working on something?” Thalia asked, obviously trying to keep her opinion hidden.
Evelyn twisted her fingers together as she attempted a small smile.
“I’m always working on something,” she said. “My mind… It’s always active, solving puzzles. I see how various pieces fit together. I subscribe to all the magazines and periodicals that post daily puzzles to keep my mind busy, or else…”
Or else it would make up problems that didn’t exist, making her feel like all the world’s issues were on her shoulders, and she didn’t have the capacity to solve them.
“That’s admirable,” Thalia said, walking over and picking up one of the periodicals that was lying open on her bed. “Asher told me you were quite intelligent.”
“He did?”
Unlike most gentlemen of her acquaintance, he had not seemed repelled—but she could not be sure it was something he would truly admire.
“He did,” Thalia said with a smile. “We’d better go down to breakfast, however. My mother is waiting.”
Evelyn winced before she could stop herself.
Thalia obviously noted as she softly laughed. “I know. My mother can be difficult, but she’ll come around. I promise.”
Evelyn wasn’t so sure about that, but she wasn’t going to argue with Thalia about it.
Instead, she prepared her mask of calm as she followed Thalia down to see Asher again. He was just a man, she reminded herself.
A man who just happened to be her husband.
Asher was uncertain if his rising agitation at Evelyn’s disappearance was of his own doing or if it stemmed from his mother.
“At what hour does she rise?”
“I’m not certain,” Asher said, although he had heard Evelyn pacing her room as he lay in bed last night, their kiss replaying in his mind again and again. “She will be here when she is ready. We never discussed breakfast plans.”
“As a duchess—”
“Mother,” he stopped her, raising his hand, but as he did so, Evelyn and Thalia filled the doorway. Evelyn’s hair was slightly undone, a satchel at her side with sketches spilling out.
“Your grace,” he said, standing and inclining his head toward her.
“Your grace,” she replied, first to him and then his mother.
“Thank you, Thalia,” he said to his sister, as she took a seat beside Evelyn, who sat to his right.
“Are you well, your grace?” his mother asked Evelyn, who paused a moment before leaning toward her, a small smile on her lips.
“I am very well,” Evelyn said. “But, perhaps, we might dispense with the titles? It does become rather tiresome after a while, all of us referring to one another as ‘your grace’ again and again, does it not?”
Asher groaned inwardly. This was not going to go over well.
“You would like us to dispense with titles?” his mother repeated with a sniff.
“What I mean to say is that I am happy for you to call me Evelyn,” she said, appearing unruffled.
How she maintained that outward calm, he had no idea. Especially when that mind of hers seemed to work so quickly.
Every time he looked at her, his thoughts shifted back to their kiss in the alleyway. How he had let himself consider continuing it once they returned home. But it worried him. They had agreed this was a practical partnership and nothing more. He needed it to be so.
He was already unable to make sense of this growing protectiveness he felt toward her. If it became more than that, he could be in trouble.
Best to keep her at a distance for now — emotionally, at least, to safeguard his family, his title, and his heart.
Too much affection could be dangerous. He could offer his respect for what she had sacrificed for her own family, for his, for how she was trying to solve this mystery along with the many others she tackled every day — but he couldn’t give her any vulnerability.
He couldn’t afford it, for it was already hard enough keeping himself on track, regimented enough to look after all that was required of him. To return to that part of himself that took time for enjoyment, for considering what else there might be to life… it was no longer an option.
“That is rather familiar, is it not?” his mother was now saying.
“We are family now,” Asher cut in, wanting to provide some peace to the table, and his mother had been the one to say that Evelyn was the duchess now, that this was her household to run, as difficult as his mother was finding to give it up.
“Very well… Evelyn,” his mother said, though she almost choked on the word.
Asher caught Thalia’s eye across the table, and soon enough, they were both holding back their laughter, for never before had they seen their mother challenged like this, especially by someone who did so with such a serene sense of calm.
One thing was certain — Asher had a deep curiosity about his wife, one that was proving very difficult to ignore.
He passed the next few days as he always would have, except for the continuous encounters with Evelyn.
Asher would pass her in the hallway, their eyes meeting or their hands accidentally touching.
They had brief exchanges at meals, in his study, over estate repairs or society events, or while reviewing correspondence or staff questions.
She didn’t suppress her opinions, and she never hesitated from telling him exactly what she thought he should do, even if it regarded something that didn’t directly involve her.
He always told her that he would consider her opinion, making sure she understood that he was still the one making the decisions.
Although he secretly enjoyed the feeling of no longer doing this alone.
They kept their exchanges polite, but there was an underlying current that Asher couldn’t remember ever feeling with another woman before.
Before his life of responsibility, if he had seen an opportunity with a woman, he had taken it. As long as she was not a young lady who might hold expectations, he saw no issue.
But now… now the future was what held them together.
That, and the diamond investigation. Not much had come of their inquiries yet, so they discussed their theories about who it could have been and why, but the truth was, they didn’t know enough to offer any logical explanation.
Instead, every time she spoke, Asher found himself longing to kiss her again. He promptly scolded himself for having such thoughts when he was trying to be rid of them all.
One thing was certain — he had never had his patience tried like this before.
And he wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it.
Evelyn had nearly given up.
In every exchange with Asher, she tried to find a way to get closer to him—physically or to the man he was inside.
She would brush her hand against his if they passed one another in the corridor. She provided him with her opinion if she thought it would help.
She did all she could to try to ease some of the burden he so obviously carried.
From what she could observe, he did nothing for himself.
His days were spent overseeing his estates, making decisions for his staff and the people who answered to him across all the areas he owned, attending parliament and meetings required of him by his peers.
As yet, they had not attended any society events as a couple, and Evelyn had a feeling he was letting time pass after the rumors that had forced them to marry, not wanting to give anyone further reason to speak about them.
She would rather face all of the people head-on, show them that there was nothing further to speak of — but then, he had made it clear that he was the one who was in charge, whose opinion mattered.
“Your grace?”
Evelyn looked up from her work to find her maid standing in the doorway of her bedroom, where she often hid away from all the new demands on her time, with her puzzles.
“Yes?” she said, hoping, for a beat, that perhaps Asher wanted to see her, to spend time with her.
She had continued her visits every morning to The British Institution, but, as of yet, Asher had not joined her as he had promised.
“The dowager duchess would like to take luncheon with you.”
Oh, joy. There were many things that Evelyn would rather do than have luncheon with her mother-in-law. Running over hot coals being one of them.
“I would be happy to,” she said with a forced smile. “Thank you, Diana.”
Evelyn sighed, summoning all of her strength.
She was going to need it.