Chapter 14
“Lloyd? Do you know where my wife is?” Asher asked as he walked in the door. He’d had a particularly trying morning, meeting with the earl whose land bordered his in Sheffield.
Now, indescribably, all he wanted was to see Evelyn.
He still had to come up with an excuse as to why he needed to see her, but he would think of something.
“She is having luncheon with the dowager duchess,” Lloyd said, his expression as unyielding as ever.
“I see,” Asher said, pausing with a wince. That couldn’t be good. “I shall wait until she is finished, then,” he said, but still, he couldn’t fight the draw that took him toward the front parlor, where his mother always took her light mid-day meal.
While she had said time and again that this was Evelyn’s house now, he knew that his mother was still holding onto as much control as she could manage.
He paused in the doorway, debating whether or not to interrupt as he heard his mother’s voice.
“We must continue to keep up an ordered household,” she was saying. “No matter what happens, if we keep order, then all will continue to run efficiently, and we will not be questioned.”
Asher had to battle the protective instinct that flared within him, the one that urged him to jump in and tell his mother to leave Evelyn be.
He forced himself to wait, to see if she could handle this without him.
“Questioned by whom?” Evelyn asked, her voice full of innocence, but he smiled to himself, knowing that, in her own way, she wasn’t backing down from his mother’s not-so-subtle hints.
“Why, society. Those in our own circles and those we oversee,” she said.
“But why do their opinions matter so much?” Evelyn responded.
“Because if we show any cracks, they will find their way in and make those cracks so pronounced that they will no longer trust us to do what we need to do.”
“Which is?”
“Look after everything.”
There was a pause in the conversation.
“I have heard,” Evelyn finally said slowly, carefully,” that it is easier to look after others if one first looks after herself.”
His mother sniffed. “That is ridiculous,” she said. “Your role as a duchess is to look after all of the things that your husband does not need to bother concerning himself with. The household. The staff. Decisions regarding hosting, society, and social events. Are you prepared to do that?”
“Since I married your son, I have endeavored to do all I can to help make his life easier,” Evelyn said, sincerity in her tone, and she was right – she had, in her own way.
“I am still learning the ways, and I have focused on the areas where I am best able to help him, those that I feel I am most educated in. However, I am willing to keep learning. And I am very fortunate.”
“Why is that?”
“Because you are here to teach me,” Evelyn said, and Asher peeked around the doorway, seeing her lean forward toward his mother, nearly touching her — but not quite, likely understanding that to do so would cross a line.
“I was not raised to be a duchess. We both know that. I’m sure you had someone else in mind for the role, but here we are.
If you could help me understand what is required of me, I would appreciate it.
And, if there are any responsibilities you would prefer to continue maintaining yourself, I would be more than happy for you to do so. ”
Asher was as astonished as his mother likely was.
His mother had been so cold to Evelyn, and now his wife was giving her grace she didn’t deserve, appealing to her vanity and her strengths, making her feel needed, which he knew his mother had been struggling with in the short time since he had married.
“I—I would like that very much,” his mother finally murmured.
Asher smiled to himself as he continued to his office.
It seemed this was one puzzle Evelyn had solved.
Was there anything she couldn’t do?
Lunch with the duchess had nearly taken everything out of Evelyn.
But at the end of it, Asher’s mother had warmed to her suggestions. Evelyn felt the shift and celebrated the small victory as she walked away.
It would also help her if the dowager duchess retained some of the tasks she had relinquished. Asher’s mother seemed to thrive on running the household, whereas Evelyn would far rather spend her time otherwise.
She hadn’t missed the dowager duchess’s barbs, unsubtle as they had been, and Evelyn couldn’t help the thought that perhaps she was right. Perhaps she didn’t belong here, and Asher’s life would have been far easier without her.
But it was too late for that, unless she left entirely, but that would only leave her, Asher, and both of their families in ruins.
On her return to her bedroom, she found that she wasn’t quite ready to tackle her puzzles, that she was yearning for some interaction besides the push-pull of her conversation with the dowager duchess.
Which was why she was more than pleased to find Thalia in the library.
“Evelyn, I’m so sorry,” Thalia said, greeting her with concern.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, instantly on alert. Had something happened to Asher? Immediately, panic that she wasn’t prepared for set in.
“You had to have lunch alone with my mother,” Thalia said with a straight face, but Evelyn started laughing in return.
“I survived,” she said. “In fact, we might even have turned a corner.”
“I am sorry,” Thalia said, appearing more distressed than she needed to be. “You shouldn’t have had to face all this.”
“It’s not your fault,” Evelyn said with a shrug. “We’re all doing our best in the situation.”
“I have something I want to show you,” Thalia said, leading her over to the side wall. “Something that was my father’s.”
She lifted an object from a shelf and brought it over, placing it on the table between them.
Evelyn gasped at the beautifully crafted box. She ran her finger over the puzzle lock, which appeared to require deciphering a series of mechanical movements or ciphers to open.
“This is exquisite,” she breathed, and Thalia beamed.
“I always loved it. I thought you would appreciate it too, after seeing all that you were working on in your bedroom.”
“Thank you for sharing,” Evelyn said, beaming at her sister-in-law. In this moment, especially after her conversations with the dowager duchess, she felt seen, like there was someone in her life who truly understood her and recognized what would capture her interest. “How do you open it?”
Thalia showed her how the box worked before disclosing the interior, where she guessed her father had hidden items in the past, although what, she couldn’t be sure.
“I imagine this would be the perfect size for notes and documents he didn’t want anyone else to see,” Evelyn murmured, looking up when Thalia didn’t answer. “It’s the sort of thing one uses when truth must wait.”
Thalia met her gaze, pressed her lips together, and nodded tersely.
“You’re right,” was all she said, and Evelyn realized that perhaps she had pushed too far, that Thalia was still in mourning for her father and had no wish to question his motives too deeply. The family had been through too much in the past few years.
“Thank you again,” Evelyn said, trying to ease the tension, and immediately, Thalia’s warmth and smile returned, as though she had momentarily lost herself.
“Of course,” Thalia said, as footsteps sounded in the hallway and Asher appeared in the doorway.
Evelyn’s breath caught at the sight of him, so tall and masculine, her body reacting to his very presence. What was it about him that made her respond in such a way?
His gaze drew over her, running down her body, and she gave a little shiver at the intensity of his stare — realizing from Thalia’s glances between them that she hadn’t missed the reaction from either of them.
“Ladies,” he finally said. “We should be leaving soon. The charity event starts in just a couple of hours.”
Evelyn hated that tiny flare of excitement in her chest – and not from the event, but from spending time in the company of her husband.
It was an excitement she was going to have to work on dampening — sooner rather than later.
It seemed the more Asher tried to avoid his wife, the more he was reminded of just how much he actually liked her — whether he was witnessing her solving his mother, bonding with his sister, or finding a new rhythm in her life, the constriction in his chest at the happiness he felt at having her fit into his home surprised him.
At the charity event, he had practically been ignored as Evelyn and Thalia had chattered away as though they had known one another forever, and even his mother seemed happier than usual.
It was as though he had left for a few hours and returned to a house in which everything had shifted to a different reality.
Except for Evelyn. She was the same as always.
And more than likely the reason for the shift.
Now he was trying to sleep, but it was proving elusive due to the thoughts racing around his head.
That his bed, always empty, now felt cold.
He closed his eyes, but even then, all he could see was her hair, long and unbound, spread across his pillow. He wondered, not for the first time, what she looked like beneath her nightgown. Not that he had even seen her in her sleepwear.
He ought to have been relieved that she wasn’t trying to press anything between them—relieved not to feel that temptation.
Unless, of course, her restraint had nothing to do with propriety and everything to do with a lack of interest, which posed an entirely different problem.
He could hear her now, walking around her bedroom, and he guessed that she was trying to solve a puzzle, although whether that puzzle was from some magazine or reality, he couldn’t say, nor did he know whether it made much difference to her.
He tossed and turned again and again, punching his pillow, trying to find comfort — until he finally decided it was useless. He needed to take a lesson from Evelyn and find something else to occupy his mind.
Estate accounts. That should put him to sleep if anything ever would.
He kicked his legs out of the blankets and set his feet on the floor, donning his wrapper to head downstairs to his cold office.
More emptiness awaited.
But that was the life he was relegated to.
Whether he wanted it or not.
Rustling from Asher’s bedroom through the wall reminded Evelyn that she was not alone, as much as she felt like she was.
Even though that wall would likely always remain between them. For what kind of man wanted a woman who had no actual, useful skills?
She had a practical, intelligent mind, but nothing she was capable at could be of any help for a duke — at least, not this duke, who seemed to have all of his estates and accounts well in hand.
No, she was married to a man who needed no advice, but only a duchess who had to be proficient in overseeing the home.
While she was one of the only ladies in England who had no interest in doing so.
After walking into the charity event together earlier that evening, they had gone their separate ways.
Evelyn had spent most of her time with Thalia and Verity, while Asher had gone to the card room and seen the gentlemen.
When he finally reappeared, she had so desperately wanted to dance, but he didn’t notice any of her hints, subtle or otherwise, as he remained farther away from her than he had when they hadn’t been married.
She sighed as she finished her last puzzle, organized the chaos of her bedroom, and finally turned out the lamp before crawling into bed.
Only to find that sleep wouldn’t come.
Asher had clearly fallen asleep, given the lack of movement or sound on the other side of the wall, and picturing him lying alone in his bed with what she was sure was a hard, glistening chest, bared to the night air, would only make things worse.
When she had lived with her father, she would always make herself a cup of warm milk if she couldn’t sleep, but she wasn’t even certain where to find that in a house like this.
Although she supposed the kitchen was as good a place as any to start.
Donning a wrapper, she tiptoed out of her room, easing the door open, even though she had no reason to be sneaking around.
She was the duchess of this house, for goodness' sake. So why did it feel as if she were still a child, with someone ready to scold her for every mistake?
She did her best to be silent as she padded down the stairs and along the corridor to where she thought the servants’ entrance waited on the ground floor. She was so intent on finding her bearings that she wasn’t paying enough attention to what was in front of her.
The light was low, she considered after, so perhaps it was not her fault.
But that didn’t prevent her from colliding with something — make that someone — as her nose went right into a chest of hardness before her.
Asher.