10. Chapter 10
Chapter 10
J ames had lost his heart to the beautiful Lady Preston, and he wasn’t certain she would ever let her walls down enough to allow a future for them. He was the fool who allowed himself to feel more for her. The arrangement was only supposed to be about pleasure, but somehow he had fallen in love with her along the way.
She wasn’t just beautiful, though she was most definitely that, but she was also confident and fierce. Everything he could want for his duchess and the woman who would be at his side for the rest of his life. When had he started thinking about forevers and happily-ever-afters?
After their time in the folly, he visited her chamber that evening and she ensured they were far too preoccupied to do much talking. Although he longed to know what she might feel for him.
He shook off his thoughts and continued reading one of the recent newspapers. After breakfast that morning, Rosina took off with her friend, Lady Lily, and James decided it might be best to give the lady a bit of space. Perhaps he didn’t truly know his own mind. He was only three-and-twenty, too young by the standards of most to consider marrying so soon. Besides, he had his brothers to consider. They needed him.
Continuing to read the paper, he did his best to push thoughts of Rosina out of his mind. He read about the latest news for another quarter hour until he became restless and decided he could no longer sit in the high-backed chair in the Ockhams’ drawing room.
Coming to a stand, he placed the paper on the table and then stretched his shoulders. Before he could stop himself, he wondered where Rosina was and fought to think of an excuse for why he needed to remain by her side, even though he knew he shouldn’t. He was nothing more than a besotted fool. That dratted Demming had been right.
“Your Grace,” the Ockhams’ butler, Baxter, said, effectively pulling him from his thoughts. “There is a matter that requires your attention.”
James eyed the man curiously, uncertain of what he might be needed for. “What matter?”
“If you will come with me, your grace,” Baxter said, motioning for him to follow.
James did as the man asked and followed him down the corridor and to the foyer.
“Brother!” a familiar voice called, and before he knew it, he had two sets of small arms wrapped around him.
“What in the devil are you two doing here?” He practically shouted his question. “How did you get here?”
“Please don’t be mad, Brother,” Walter said, pleading with him. “William’s bad dreams returned and he was frightened. He needed to see you.”
James’ expression softened, but before he could speak, Baxter stepped in. “I shall alert her ladyship to the arrival of our guests and see that a room can be made up for them. At least for tonight.”
“I would appreciate that,” James said, nodding his appreciation to the man. “Please give my apologies to her ladyship for the inconvenience.” He made a mental note as Baxter took off that he would also need to express his gratitude to his hosts once he determined what his brothers were about.
Looking down at his brothers, who still had him in a tight embrace, he wriggled out of their grasp. “Come with me. We shall discuss the matter in my chamber.”
He led the boys up the staircase, then to the right to the wing where his chamber had been assigned. Opening the door, he ushered them inside the room and then closed it behind them. They each rushed over to the settee and plopped onto it beside each other, looking up at him expectantly.
James dropped himself into the chair across from them. “Now tell me about this bad dream of yours, William.”
“It was awful, James. I dreamt you were attacked on the way to this house party like Mama and Papa.” He sniffled as he spoke. “And then I dreamt the same thing again. I was worried something had happened to you.”
His heart broke that his brother had been racked with fear, but leaving school wasn’t acceptable.
“You should have spoken with your teachers, and they would have contacted me. You know I would have come straight away. Boys, you can’t leave on your own with no one aware of where you are. All manner of bad things could have happened to you both. You understand that, don’t you?”
Walter and William each gave him somber nods. “We’re sorry, James,” Walter said.
“I don’t want you to do something like this again, ever,” James said, sounding more like a parent than a brother, so he softened his expression slightly. “I shall write to your school so they know where you are, and then we will make plans to return you there.”
“James, please,” William started. “Can’t we just stay with you? You can hire us tutors like we did before. We don’t need to go to school.”
He could see how William trembled, and he rushed over to his brothers and knelt before them. “Do you both feel that way?”
William nodded, but Walter hesitated a bit before also giving him a nod. Each of their faces was in a pout that reminded him of when he had to tell them about their parents. He knew they needed to be at school and knew the three of them couldn’t spend every day together for the rest of their lives, but he couldn’t bear to cause them any more pain.
“Very well,” he said, questioning if he was making the right decision. “You may return home with me.” If only their parents were still alive, and none of them would be in such a position. The boys would be away happily at school, making friends and having the time of their lives.
“Thank you! Thank you!” each of the boys exclaimed, throwing their arms around his neck. He hugged them back.
“I need you both to be on your best behavior until I confirm when we shall depart,” James said, eyeing each of them.
“We will, Brother, we promise,” William said.
He hugged them again, but suddenly, an image of Rosina flashed into his mind. There would be nothing more between them once he left. She already barely let him in, and once he departed, she would harden her heart towards him completely. It was a very real possibility he wouldn’t even see her again. His heart fractured in his chest, and he released a sad sigh.
“What is wrong, Brother?” Walter said, eyeing him curiously.
“It’s nothing.” He lied to his brothers. Because it was everything.
Thankfully, Lord and Lady Ockham were understanding about the situation with his brothers. He sent the necessary correspondence to the school so they wouldn’t worry about where the boys went. He spent the afternoon with them, listening to their stories about their studies and some of the friends they had made.
It sounded to James like they had enjoyed school until William had suffered from the nightmares. If that hadn’t occurred, he had a feeling the boys would still be happily away at school. It also explained why James hadn’t received a letter from them yet, as they had been busy with their new friends. He questioned his decision to allow them to remain at home instead of going to school, but he could think on that later once they all had more time to discuss the matter.
They didn’t encounter Rosina when he took the boys on a stroll through the gardens to show them the estate. He showed them where the fire had occurred at the stables and used the opportunity to remind them of how destructive fires could be. And why it was so important to be mindful of any kind of flame.
For dinner that evening, he had requested trays for them all to be brought to the chamber where the boys were staying. It was only a couple of doors down from him, which made things convenient to keep an eye on them.
After they finished their meal and the trays had been taken away, he settled the boys into their beds. He figured they would most likely depart the following day to not be a burden on their hosts. A country house party wasn’t exactly the place for a pair of boys their age.
Once he bid them good night, he returned to his own chamber. The house was quiet, but given the time, he was certain there were still guests lingering about. Then there would be the guests who would swap their chambers for the evening. The way he had done with Rosina.
He wanted to go to her that evening. More than anything. By then she had to have heard about his brothers’ arrival, as such a thing would be known quickly amongst the entire party. And if they hadn’t spread the news, his disappearance from the party would cause talk on its own.
James paced his room. He needed to speak with her before he left, but what would we say? Could he tell her he loved her but he had to go? Could he beg her to love him, too, and consider a life with him? He was almost certain she would decline that offer before he could even finish the words, and then where would that leave him?
There were the boys to consider as well. If William was having nightmares, adjusting to the notion of James marrying and adding someone else to their family was a risk. If the boys would even accept her at all. But could he live the rest of his life without her? Or without at least trying to win her?
The sound of his chamber door clicking closed reached his ears and his chin jerked in that direction. Expecting to see one of the boys, he was surprised to see Rosina leaning against the closed door.
“How did you know this was my chamber?” He mentally chastised himself for asking such a pointless question. Who really cared how she came across the information?
“I asked.”
“Why did you come?” He didn’t bother hiding the hope in his tone, and that was a far more important question.
She took a few steps closer to where he sat in the chair before the fireplace. “I heard about your brothers, and I wanted to see if you were all right.”
He flashed her a playful grin. “So you were thinking about me?”
James was almost certain she had rolled her eyes at him. “I suppose,” she said.
“I believe I shall depart with the boys tomorrow,” he blurted, hoping her reaction might be one of sadness or longing.
“I see.”
No such luck.
“I’m not ready to depart from you,” he said, deciding to bare just a bit of his heart to her.
She moved another few steps closer, and he could see her better with the light from the fire dancing across her features. The sadness was there, and it caused his heart to catch in his throat.
“Me neither, Duke.”
He leapt from his chair and captured her in his arms, holding her close to him. “Come with me,” he pleaded.
She pulled back, and she eyed him as if he belonged in Bedlam. “Are you mad? I can’t just come with you.”
“Why not?” He leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her lips before trailing kisses along her jaw. “Marry me, Rosina,” he whispered against her ear. “As much as I promised I wouldn’t, and then tried not to. I love you.”
“James,” she whispered, nuzzling her cheek against his. “I can’t.”
His heart shattered into little pieces, and his entire body recoiled from her rejection. James released her. “Why?”
“I…I just…James…”
He watched her stammer with her words and awaited what blow she might deliver. Did she truly not care for him at all?
William’s voice cut through Rosina’s broken words. “Brother?”