Chapter 33
The sight of Gabriel made Agnes’ pulse accelerate at once, and she cursed herself for being so responsive to his appearance.
It shouldn’t make such a difference to her that he was suddenly standing in front of her, that he was engaging with her nearly directly—not entirely so, for he hadn’t made eye contact with her or spoken her name.
She wished he would.
But his focus was entirely, for the moment, on Lady Claire. He looked her up and down, and it was clear that he was waiting for her to give an answer.
Her whole demeanor shifted. “Oh, Your Grace,” she simpered.
“This dreadful woman—I don’t know how you could bear to be around her.
I don’t know how you managed that as long as you did.
It must have been horrible for you. But never fear.
I know how awful it was, and that’s the reason I’ve approached her now.
I’m just letting her know how little her presence is desired here, and that she ought to save herself the embarrassment and just take her leave now. ”
“That’s what you’re doing?” Gabriel raised his eyebrows.
“You’ve decided you have the right to speak for me, Lady Claire?
I heard the things you were saying. You didn’t just tell Lady Agnes that you didn’t like seeing her here.
You told her that I didn’t want her here.
And you’re speaking of her as though she’s been a burden to me—as though I was tormented by the time she and I spent together. ”
“Well, anyone can see what a disaster that match was,” Lady Claire said with a light laugh.
“I’m not saying anything Lady Agnes herself doesn’t know.
She even indicated as we were speaking that she already realized everything I was telling her.
You don’t need to come over here and act as though I’m doing her some serious harm by saying things she knows to be true. ”
“This isn’t about what’s true or untrue,” Gabriel snapped. “This is about the audacity you show in daring to talk about my opinions without me being present. Lady Claire, you have always been far too forward. You have always behaved as if you have some right to my life that has never been yours.”
“Your Grace…I don’t know why you would say that,” Lady Claire said, color coming into her cheeks.
“You and I were close for a long time before Lady Agnes entered your life, and now that she has thankfully decided to leave you in peace, we can be close once again. We can return to the relationship we once had, before she intervened and did her best to ruin your life.”
“You assume far too much about me,” Gabriel said, his voice angry and tight.
“You assume that you know what I want, when you don’t.
You never have. And frankly, Lady Claire, you shouldn’t need to make any assumptions about this, because it should be apparent to you.
I’ve been clear with you, always. I have never given you a reason to think that there was anything of substance between the two of us, and the fact that you have refused to understand that has to do with an unwillingness on your part to face reality.
I don’t know why you’re still convinced that you and I have some bond, but hear me now when I tell you that we do not.
We will never be married. It matters not what Lady Agnes does.
She has nothing to do with my feelings when it comes to you.
Even if she had never come into my life, you and I would be nothing at all. ”
Lady Claire opened and closed her mouth like a fish, clearly lost for words.
“I think,” Gabriel said quietly, that you are the one who needs to take your leave.
You are the one who doesn’t belong here.
I cannot force you, but you and I will have nothing more to do with one another if you do choose to stay.
We will not share a dance. We will not converse again after this moment.
It’s apparent to me that you have some fascination with me that you don’t know how to manage, so I’m not going to entertain it any further. ”
Her lip trembled. “I just can’t believe you’re being so rude, Gabriel. She’s changed you. You’re not the man you used to be.”
“You’re wrong,” he said firmly. “This is exactly who I have always been. You made up some vision of me in your mind, some version of me that you wanted to believe in, but that was never real. I was always the man standing before you right now. And if you think me cruel, know only that you wouldn’t be the first person to come to that discovery.
Her eyes filled with tears. For a moment, Agnes actually felt sorry for her.
But then Lady Claire whirled on her. “This is all your doing,” she snapped, her voice loud and aggressive.
“Your antics ruin people’s lives. I’m glad you’re a spinster and that you’ll spend the rest of your days alone!
I just hope no one ever has the misfortune to associate themselves with you ever again! ”
So saying, she turned on her heel and stalked off. Dozens of eyes watched her go, then turned back to Agnes and Gabriel.
“That was magnificent, Your Grace,” Dorothy said admiringly. “She was insufferable. I’m glad you ran her off.”
Gabriel glanced at her. “Ladies, might I borrow your friend for a quick turn around the garden?”
“Yes, of course,” Violet interjected quickly, perhaps sensing that Dorothy might try to involve herself further. “You two go and talk, Agnes, we’ll wait here for you to return.”
Agnes did her best to signal to her friends that she didn’t want to go along with Gabriel at all, but they either didn’t get the message or chose to ignore it.
The next thing she knew, she was being led from the house and out into the garden.
Other revelers glanced their way curiously as they passed, but, for a wonder, no one actually said anything to them.
Agnes was relieved. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as she’d thought.
Being with Gabriel again, though…it was difficult to breathe.
It was difficult to think. She was so aware of his physical presence that it overwhelmed her, the way a strong wind makes it hard to think of anything else when it blows.
She walked slowly, deliberately falling a few steps behind him to see whether he would match her pace.
He did.
He glanced over at her, and her heart raced.
What was he going to say? Would this be an apology for the stark way things had ended between the two of them?
Was it possible he was going to express regret for them having ended at all?
Could it be that everything she had thought was wrong, that he really did miss her and want to see her again?
She held her breath, realizing suddenly and belatedly that nothing in the world would make her happier than the opportunity to continue what they had once had.
He stopped walking.
She stopped along with him.
They were far enough from the house now that no one inside would possibly overhear what was being said. The people in the garden might, but the nearest pair was several yards away, examining some flowers, and Gabriel had evidently decided that it was time to take that chance.
He turned to face her.
She was taken aback. It was the same face she had seen the last time they had been together, tight with anger. He wasn’t pleased with her at all.
“What’s the matter with you?” he demanded through gritted teeth.
She stared at him, feeling as though she was watching something inexplicable, something massive and powerful, like a storm. “Nothing is the matter with me,” she said, mystified. “I haven’t any idea what you mean.”
“You know exactly what I mean.”
“Gabriel, truly, I don’t,” she protested. “Are you upset that I came to this ball? I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Her stomach clenched. “Perhaps we ought to share our social schedules with one another, if it displeases you, so that we can ensure it won’t happen again.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. “You know I don’t mind if you attend a ball. That’s your business. It’s your life.”
“Then why are you upset?”
“I don’t understand what I just saw in there,” he said.
“Lady Claire…she’s a joke, Agnes. She’s nobody.
She was never anything to me, and you can see for yourself that she’s the sort of lady who’s willing to abase herself by begging a gentleman for his attention.
Your least favorite kind of person, I’d have thought. ”
“Well, and what?” Agnes asked. “Did you get the impression I liked her or something? I can assure you, I didn’t. I don’t know why you’re disappointed.”
“I’m disappointed because I’ve come to expect so much more from you!
” he burst out. “You are the last person in the world I’d ever have thought would stand there and allow herself to be spoken to in such a hateful manner.
I would have thought you would give her exactly the response she deserved.
I was watching from across the room when she confronted you.
I kept waiting to see you put her in her place, but no matter how long I watched, it didn’t happen.
I came over and intervened because I felt as if I had to.
I thought you would take care of things yourself, but you didn’t. ”
Agnes swallowed hard.
“Why?” he pressed her. “Why would you allow her to speak to you that way? Why would you let anyone do it? I’ve never seen that side of you. I didn’t like it.”
Agnes sighed. “Your Grace…”
“Why are you calling me that?”
“It’s what’s appropriate,” she said. Hearing Lady Claire refer to him by his title had reminded Agnes of that fact.
They had been pretending to be close for so long that she had nearly allowed herself to forget it wasn’t real.
“You and I are not in a courtship, Your Grace. It was one thing to use your name while we were pretending, but now that we no longer are, there is no reason to go on acting. I should resume proper address when I speak to you, and you ought to do the same when you speak to me.”
He regarded her. “That’s really what you want? Proper address?”
“Yes,” she said firmly. “Can you grant me that?”
He sighed. “If it’s what you want,” he agreed. “But…Lady Agnes, you must do something for me in return.”
“We’re past the point of exchanging favors,” she told him.
He ignored that. “If someone tries to give you a hard time like that again, don’t hold back. You must be able to stand up for yourself. It’s one of my favorite things about you—that strength you have. I couldn’t bear it if it was gone.”
He gazed into her eyes.
He had no right to ask this of her. He had no right to ask anything of her.
Agnes turned and hurried away without giving him an answer.