Chapter 7
“Excuse me?” Sophia said, not entirely certain that she had heard the Duke correctly.
He chuckled at her confusion. “I asked if you would marry me, Miss. Sophia.”
That was when it hit her. Not just the question itself, but the earnest look that the Duke held her in. He was not smirking. There was no humor in his eyes. He meant it… every single word.
“No!” She snatched her hand back as if something had bitten her. “I… why would you ask me that?”
“Because I wish to marry you.”
“No, you do not,” she said as if angry. “You cannot possibly mean such a thing.”
“And why not?”
“Because… because…” Her mouth opened and closed like a fish trying to breathe on land. “Because how could you? Never mind that we hardly know one another. Never mind that you and I… we cannot possibly work. But you, Your Grace, and forgive me for this, are not the type of man I would ever marry.”
He touched his chest as if hurt. “And why not exactly?”
“Do you need me to make a list?”
His smile returned and it reached his eyes. “And what a list it would be. But you are correct in many ways. On the face of it, you and I would not make a very good couple, would we?”
“Then why did you ask?”
The smile dropped and he looked at her with a serious expression.
“I meant what I said about you. That there is more to you than perhaps even you understand. And I truly believe that were you given the chance, you would fly, Miss. Sophia. You are trapped right now; anyone can see it. But marry me and you will be trapped no longer.”
“That is not an answer…” She was struggling to control her breathing, certain that this was some sort of joke. It had to be! “What I want is irrelevant. Why do you want to… what do you get out of marriage?”
“Very perceptive.”
“Tell me the truth,” she said. “What do you want?”
“Fine…” The Duke sighed. “I will be honest with you, because I see no point in not being so. You are correct that I am not the type who would ordinarily marry. And were the circumstances even slightly different, I don’t think I ever would. But in many ways, that is advantageous for you.”
Her heart started to race, and she considered turning and running before he said anything else.
But she stayed… she wanted to hear what he said.
Despite how wrong she knew it was, the Duke’s words struck a chord deep inside of her.
The very idea that she might be free… I did not even know I wanted it, until he said it.
“As you may or may not know, my father died three years ago. That left me as his sole heir, and since his death I have inherited everything from him. My title, my wealth… it is mine, and I do not intend on losing any of it.”
“And what does this have to do with –”
“But my father knew me well, just as he knew that was I not forced to do so, I would never marry. So, he added a clause to his will, one that demands that I marry, lest I lose everything.” He chuckled bitterly.
“Worse still, the effects take place in three months, at which point, am I not married…” He scoffed.
“Well, it is just as I said. I will lose everything.”
“So, you wish to marry me to keep your wealth in tact?”
“Exactly,” he said. “I do not wish to marry you for love. I do not wish to marry you because I think you and I might be happy.” He laughed and shook his head. “Likely, the exact opposite is true.”
“Then why on earth would I say yes?”
“Our marriage will be one of convenience,” he continued, the humor fading again.
“We will be married in name only, living together as man and wife, but not acting as if we are. And because you will be my wife, and because I will not care what you do or how you do it, for the first time in your life, Miss Sophia, you will be free like never before.”
That word again… free… it shook something loose inside of Sophia like she could not have predicted. Words were one thing, but the mere idea that it was a possibility was something else.
Do I even want such a thing? Why does he assume that I do?
Sophia licked her lips as she tried to find calm and control. She removed herself emotionally from the situation, doing her best to assess the merits as she had been taught.
As a young lady of the ton, marriage was a necessary part of life, and Sophia had spent that life under the assumption that one day she would be somebody’s bride.
Worse still, she assumed that he who she married would be a match made by her parents, likely for political gain.
She would not love him at first, but the love would come, as it so often did.
And never had she questioned it. All her life, she had been happy to tell herself that whoever her parents chose for her, she would be pleased with. It was not her role to question them or judge them. She was their daughter to do with as they wished.
But was that what she wanted? Now that she considered it closer, she wasn’t so sure that it was.
Why did she have to marry whoever her parents said? Why was her life theirs to control? Why did she not get to choose, or do as she wanted? Why could she not be free to make her own decisions?
“Miss Sophia…” The Duke spoke softly. “Do you have an answer for me?”
“I… I… I…”
The answer should have been no. She should have laughed and walked away. Her parents would be furious. Her friends would judge her. And she had no idea how she might explain any of this.
But in the back of her mind, niggling away, was the prospect of what this meant. For the first time in her life, she saw a path different to that which she had always walked. It was a path of no rules, a path of freedom, a path where she could follow her dreams like never before.
It excited her. And when she found the Duke’s probing eyes, that excitement grew. She glanced at his lips, the thrill of the kiss shared rolled through her, and she realized that what she had felt from that kiss was not lust or armor. Rather, it was freedom.
I want to be free to make my own choice. To do as I please, to play music as I feel it, to live my own life like my parents had never allowed.
These thoughts filtered through her mind and before she could stop to consider their merits of if this was the stupidest thing she had ever done, she was speaking.
“Yes,” she said distantly.
“Excuse me?” he asked.
She snapped her head up and looked at him. Not with determination. Not with dismissal. But with passion. “Yes,” she said again. “I will marry you.”
“I thought so.” The Duke broke into a smile and then he took her hand. “And might I say, you will not regret it. I promise you that.”
“That is not up to you,” she said firmly, a fire now burning inside of her. “That is up to me.”
The Duke laughed. “Well put.”
There they stood. The Duke holding her hand. Sophia burning with a sense of excitement like she had never felt before. She wanted to sing. She wanted to dance. She wanted to scream as she had never been allowed. It was all so exciting… and dangerous.
“What now?” she asked him, thinking to pull her hand away but finding herself unable to. “What… what do we do?”
“I think we should return to the party,” the Duke said. “And tomorrow, I will pay you and your family a visit to tell them the good news. How does that sound?”
“My family…” She swallowed back the nerves, because she suddenly pictured her father and mother’s face and it terrified her. No, do not fear them. He is a duke after all, and they should be thrilled, if not a little confused. “Yes,” she said. “That sounds… that sound agreeable.”
He laughed. “I am so glad you think so.”
The Duke was the first to walk outside, insisted upon by Sophia because she did not want them to be seen together. This also gave her a few minutes to contemplate what she had done.
Most interestingly, now that she was alone and able to conceive of all that had happened, it was not fear of the unknown that plagued her. It was not worry that consumed her. Nor was it panic that took her. Rather, Sophia felt excitement.
Her body was tingling with this excitement as she started back through the house, and before long she was smiling. She still could not believe it, and she still could not fathom what this might mean for her. The one thing she did know was that nothing in her life would be the same again.
It was when she walked outside that she noticed a change having taken place at the small gathering. Where moments earlier, the guests were sitting about and talking, they now stood around a small dance floor that had opened at the garden’s center.
It was a makeshift dance floor, done on the grass and between hedges. And the music came from a single violinist, so that while the dancing looked to be a classic waltz, the tune wasn’t quite right. But she smiled to see it and laughed as she approached.
“Sophia!” Lucy swept toward her. “Where have you been?”
“Just inside,” Sophia said happily. She could not believe how good she felt. How free. “Washing up. When did this happen?”
“Oh, this…” She blew through her lips. “It was Anna’s idea. She thought the party needed to be more lively.”
Sophia was nodding along but not paying her friend attention.
That was saved for those dancing. Her smile was seen in her eyes, excitement flooding through her.
Ordinarily, Sophia would never dance at a function like this.
Not without her parents there. Not with a partner who she was not being courted by. That simply wasn’t proper.
Yet she found herself moving closer to the dance floor.
She found the excitement inside building.
She thought of what had just happened between her and the Duke, she thought of what this meant for her future.
She was free now like she had never been before, and she wanted to experience what that was like.
“Sophia?” Lucy called to her as she walked ahead. “What are you doing? Sophia?”
Sophia found herself at the edge of the dance floor. The music was starting to slow down, as were the dozen couples who moved to it. Her foot was tapping, she licked her lips, and her eyes danced freely as she tried to decide what to do…
“Might I have this dance?” a voice spoke from over her shoulder.
She started in surprise and turned around. “What are you doing?” she hissed and glanced about quickly as if worried they might be seen.
The Duke laughed. “I thought I was asking you to dance.”
“Is that…” She swallowed. “Appropriate?”
“Why would it not be? You wish to dance, as do I. What’s the harm? Besides…” The Duke stepped in close, leaned in further, and dropped his voice. “You can do as you wish, now that you are free.”
The word sent a ripple up her spine and before she knew what she was doing, she was accepting the Duke’s outstretched hand and allowing herself to be led onto the dance floor.
Sophia took immediate notice of everyone watching them. She saw the confusion. She noticed the whispers behind hands. And she paid attention to the shock in the eyes of her friends because this was so unlike her.
It made her heart race, the thrill taking hold.
“Closer…” The Duke stepped into her, one hand going to the small of her back. His touch rippled up her body and she gasped… and then breathed as their bodies pressed together. “Much better.”
She thought to pull away. She thought to turn her head so that she wasn’t looking at him. For a moment, she thought to walk away before this went too far. But then the music started and they were moving together as one.
“This more like it,” the Duke chuckled as he led her across the dance floor. He moved freely, as if he was the wind. “Tell me truly, is this not what life is about?”
“I…” She looked around, suddenly too aware of everyone watching. “Perhaps this was not a good idea.”
“Nonsense,” he said. “This is the best idea you have had all day.” He held her close, his grip strong, his body powerful. “And come tomorrow, it will make more sense. Don’t worry about how it looks.”
She did not want to worry. She did not want to care. But as they danced, and as the Duke held her close, Sophia’s head turned and followed those who watched. Some were confused. Some were amused. And many watched on in states of shock as if they could not believe what they were seeing.
Sophia tried not to dance too close. She tried to look as if she was not enjoying herself. But she was at the Duke’s mercy, and he held her closely as he led her. If anything, he seemed to want people to know about them.
“Tomorrow,” she asked him. “You will come see my parents?”
“First thing in the morning.”
“And what are you going to say?”
“Do not worry about it,” he said. “Miss. Sophia, I think you fail to realize what is happening. You no longer have to care what people think. You know longer have to care about anything other than what you wish. Enjoy yourself…” He threw back his head and laughed as he led her across the dance floor.
“You have the rest of your life ahead of you.”
In the moment, it had felt like a good idea.
Taken by the excitement of the Duke’s offer, seeing clearly what he offered and thinking that she wanted it, Sophia had not considered the larger implications. For all her talk of wanting freedom, and wishing that her life was her own, she was not entirely certain now if it was all he said.
Sophia was raised a certain way. She had lived her life by rules. She was the perfect lady, born into the perfect family, and they expected from her perfection. To say she wanted to reject that was one thing, but to actually do it…
A cold ran through her body and the world started to turn around her. Just like that, the seriousness of the situation struck home. Eyes watching. Whispers gathering. Judgement growing. Suddenly, Sophia was nowhere near as certain about her choice as she had been.
And to make things even worse, it is too late now to change my mind…