Chapter 13
As soon as they were alone in the carriage, Sophia exhaled with such relief that it felt as if a weight was removing itself from her chest and shoulders. She shifted across the carriage, turned to face the window, and contemplated her new life as the carriage began to move.
At least she tried to.
“Well, that was relatively painless,” the Duke sighed and stretched out. “Albeit, longer than I had hoped.”
She said nothing, continuing to focus on the passing city.
His estate was an hour north of London, the early hours of the evening were upon them, and she planned on sitting in silence for the remainder of the trip…
and the remainder of my life, most likely.
Is that not the point? That I don’t have to worry about my husband anymore?
The ceremony and following breakfast went well enough, and Sophia had no doubt that they had managed to fool everyone. But such a realization brought little relief to her, and she could not escape the feeling that something was wrong here.
It was her husband that did it. The way he had been acting. Yes, it was done for a reason, but more than once she had noticed him looking at her, gaping even, and such was the thrill she saw in her eyes that she wondered if there was more to this marriage than he had let on.
That thought terrified her… and excited in equal measure.
“You did well today,” he continued. “You should be proud.”
She said nothing, still looking out the window. Sophia could not say why she wanted to ignore him, only that she felt she needed to, if for no other reason than to establish the boundaries that needed to be set.
“Once we arrive to my estate, your room should be ready, and most of your things should already have arrived and been unpacked. It will be as if you have lived there your whole life.”
She nodded but did not look at him.
“I predict I will be turning in early.” He shifted on his seat, sitting up and leaning forward. She could feel his eyes on her, and she turned her shoulders slightly to present more of her back. “We might have to save the tour for tomorrow.”
Sophia’s heart was racing and she could not say why.
Alone as they were, this was their wedding night, and while he had just said he intended to turn in early, Sophia knew too that her husband was not to be trusted in all things.
She had watched him closely today, taking note of the joy he took from twisting the knife and seeing what he could get away with. He was like a big child sometimes.
And once again, she remembered the way he had stared… it sent a ripple throughout her body, a warmth she could not explain. This marriage was for convenience, but it felt different to how she expected.
Suddenly she started to sweat.
“Might I say, you look ravishing in that dress,” he purred.
Her eyes widened and she turned on him. “What do you mean by that?”
He grinned. “Ah, so you can hear me. Just making sure.”
Her face dropped… as did her heart. “Do you mock me?”
“No, no,” he said. “Just trying to coax a conversation out of you. We have quite the trip ahead of us, after all.”
“I am tired,” she said and turned away.
“Is it such a bad thing?” he continued, and she could sense the mockery in his voice, the fun he was having. “For a husband to compliment his wife? Most brides would expect such a thing.”
“I am not most brides.”
“No…” He chuckled and shook his head. “You certainly are not that. You are not like most people, in fact. You might not know it yet, but I can see it there, simmering below the surface. Personally, I cannot wait until it explodes from you like a –”
“What do you want?” Fed up with his word games, Sophia spun around again and fixed him in a heated glare. “Why are you so… frustrating?”
“Do I frustrate you?”
“What?” She gasped. “No, I did not mean it like…” She shut her mouth when she saw the humor in his eyes. Then she straightened and looked at him plainly. “I think now is a good time to define the parameters of our agreement.”
“Very formal,” he said. “Your parents aren’t in the carriage with us, are they?” He pretended to look around. “I don’t know how your father would fit, with that big head of his –”
“Don’t mock me.”
“I promise I am not.”
She narrowed her eyes. “That is all you do, and it makes it impossible to take anything you say seriously.” She folded her arms as she looked at him.
“Now, I would like to know, what you expect from me. Tell me now so I can get on with the desirable task of ignoring you, hopefully for the rest of my life.” She raised an eyebrow at him.
“How was that? Informal enough for you?”
He flashed his eyes wickedly as he leaned back in his seat. “Very.”
Sophia was caught in two worlds, and she did not like the feeling one little bit.
On the one hand, she was determined to spurn her husband and remind him in no uncertain terms that she wanted nothing from this marriage but what was promised. That was, after all, the deal they had made, and she still believed it was what she desired.
On the other hand… she would be lying if she said that she didn’t enjoy their bantering.
She had never been spoken to like this before, and she had never spoken to anyone back like this either.
With her husband, she felt that she could say whatever she wanted.
Better than that, he seemed to want her to speak her mind, regardless of what came out.
It was that freedom that he promised, which was both dangerous and exciting in one.
“You will be relieved to hear that now we are married, there is no need to continue the charade of loving couple, as we have been doing,” the Duke began. “In fact, I doubt we will be appearing in public enough for it to matter.”
“Oh…” She blinked and her stomach dropped. “We won’t be?”
“Do you wish to?” he asked curiously. “I would have thought you had no desire at all to spend time with me.”
“I don’t,” she said a little too quickly. “I mean… I guess I did not think about it.”
“Think about this.” He leaned forward again, so close to her that she could almost feel his breath on her.
“When I asked you to marry me, it was under the presumption that this would be a marriage of convenience, and that has not changed. I needed a wife to fulfil my father’s terms, and I have done that now. ”
“That is… that is good to hear,” she said with little conviction.
“As for you?” he continued. “As I promised, you are free to do as you like. I will not bind you. I will not stop you. Your life is your own, as so long as you don’t…” He laughed. “… do anything to cause utmost embarrassment, than your choices are your own.”
“Embarrassment? What does that mean?”
“Where you are concerned, I doubt it’s something we have to worry about,” he chuckled. “All it means is that we will live together as man and wife in name only. I won’t expect anything from you, nor will you from me.”
“Good.” She swallowed the lump that appeared for reasons she did not understand. “I am glad.”
“And before you ask, no, I do not expect you to perform your wifely duties. At least not tonight…” He let that sit between them, raising a knowing eyebrow at her.
Sophia’s face dropped. “You… but you said… I did not think –”
“I am joking, Sophia,” he eased her with great humor. “It was just a joke. I know what this marriage is, as do you, and as promised, it is not a marriage which requires that.”
It should have been good news. It was exactly what she wanted to hear!
But for some reason, this announcement brought with it an empty feeling and a sense of despondence that she could not explain.
It was easy for Sophia to say that she wanted nothing of that nature with her husband, but now that it was confirmed, she could not help but wonder if she was missing something.
Absurd! He made it perfectly clear the day we agreed to this, and nothing has changed. I have not changed… or I don’t think that I have…
“Is there anything else?” he asked her.
“No,” she said a little too quickly. “I mean…” She sat up and looked at him. “It is as we agreed, and I thank you for keeping up your end of the agreement.”
He rolled his eyes. “Still, so formal.”
“It’s who I am.”
“No, it’s not,” he said. “But you’ll figure that out soon, I am certain. And, quite honestly, I cannot wait to see when you do.” He grinned suggestively and she shifted and looked away, her cheeks burning.
She had no idea why her husband was insistent on seeing a different side to her, one he was certain to exist, while she wasn’t so sure it did herself.
Yes, she wanted freedom. Yes, she wanted to be able to do as she pleased.
But Sophia had her limits, and being raised as she had been, she doubted that she was anything like what the Duke suggested.
“I am glad we have that sorted…” She went back to looking out the window. “Now, if you do not mind, I am quite tired and would like to rest.”
“Do not let me stop you.” He leaned back. “After all, isn’t that the entire point?”
They spent the rest of the ride in silence, and Sophia watched the countryside pass them by. Slowly, the sun set low, painting the pastures in dark purples and deep reds, and then it sank even lower until the sky was pitch black so that not even the stars glimmered across its expansive breadth.
For this reason, when they reached the estate, Sophia did not even see it, and it wasn’t until they slowed down that she realized where they were.
“It looks better in the light of day,” he said to her as he too shifted to the window and looked outside. “Likely a little bigger than you know, but you will get used to it.”
Would she? Perhaps she would get used to her new home, but would she get used to her new life? She had no idea what to expect from it and now that she was here, living it, she wondered time and again if she had made the right choice.
A quick glance at her husband, her stomach flipped, and she could not escape the feeling that she was missing something…
When the carriage came to a stop, the doors were opened from the other side. The Duke was the first out, and he offered her a hand. But it was not warm and loving, and she sensed he was only doing it because he felt that he should, not because he wanted to.
“I’ve had the staff arraigned to greet us in the morning,” he explained as they walked the drive. “For now, your personal maid will have to do. She will take you to your room and help you settle it.”
“My maid?”
“One of many,” he told her. “Your life is going to be different now, Sophia. I suggest you get used to it.”
It was an ominous thing to say, and not for the reasons the Duke thought.
True to his word, a single chambermaid stood waiting in the foyer. Her name was Mary, she was the same age as Sophia, and she was only too eager to show her to her room.
“This is where I leave you.” The Duke stayed by the base of the stairs. “But I will see you on the morrow… or not,” he shrugged. “It is really up to you. After all, isn’t that the point.” He winked.
“Y – yes,” she stammered. “It is.”
Her room was opulent and wanting for nothing. A four-poster bed sat the center, and a soft fire flickered in the hearth. Mary asked if she wished to bathe before bed, but Sophia just wanted to sleep. It had been a long day, her body was worn, and she hoped tomorrow would bring a clearer head.
Typically, little sleep was had that night.
She spent it in a state of tossing and turning, unable to settle, her mind continuing to drift to the Duke.
This marriage looked to be everything that she wanted and expected, and she knew how happy she should have felt.
But there was a niggling feeling in the back of her conscience that she was missing out on something, and that married life should be about more than freedom.
When she did finally drift off, it was with images of the Duke in her mind’s eye. His charming smile. His probing eyes. The way her stomach squirmed when he spoke to her… when he touched her.
Not an easy first night by any stretch, and Sophia knew that things were only set to get harder from here on out.