Chapter 20
Gabriel stood by the window to his office, hands folded behind his back, watching as the storm swept across the estate and plunged the world into chaotic darkness.
It felt prophetic in many ways, a metaphor for his life and the woes that currently attacked him at every end. A little dramatic, perhaps, and he knew that to be so, but that did not change the feeling that sat heavy in his stomach and firm on his conscience.
A deep rumble of thunder shook the walls, and typically, his first thought was that of his wife.
Should I check that she is fine? There is no reason that she should not be, but I cannot help but feel that I should go to her nonetheless… just to make sure.
It had been a rough week for Gabriel.
Ever since his argument with Sophia, things had been going poorly for him. Or rather, things had stayed the same in his life, reminiscent of before he married. While that should have been a relief, for reasons he refused to acknowledge, it simply wasn’t.
The two had been avoiding one another like the seasonal flu.
Sophia seemed to have made it her life’s mission to not be within a dozen feet of him, and Gabriel was not the type to try and change her mind.
He still believed that he had done the right thing, even if he had gone about it the wrong way.
All that was needed now was time, and soon it would be as if they had never married and everything would be well again.
That’s a lie… a most horrible one, at that. How much longer can I pretend that I do not care? How much longer can I tell myself that I did nothing wrong?
It was harder than it should have been.
Gabriel was not meant to care about his wife. He was not supposed to think about her or concern himself with her state of being. This marriage was for convenience, the purpose was served, and there was no need to carry on as if things might change. He did not want them to!
Then why did he feel this way? A pit in his stomach that grew daily, that swallowed him whole, that sucked in the world around him so that nothing was left but loneliness and misery.
Why did he miss his wife so damn much…
“Your Grace.” A knock at the door joined the soft call.
He turned and then frowned because he recognized the man standing in the doorway but would never guessed to have seen him there. In fact, Gabriel could not think of a single time he’d seen the man inside.
“Ah… Marcus, yes?”
“It is, Your Grace.” The stableboy bowed deeply. “I am so sorry for disturbing you, Your Grace. I thought not to, but with the storm the way it is, I knew I wouldn’t forgive myself if I said nothing.”
“Is it the horses?” Gabriel asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Not the horses, Your Grace,” Marcus assured him. “It’s Her Grace – I am sure she is fine. I know that she is. But with the storm, like I said, I wouldn’t forgive myself if –”
“Speak plainly,” he cut the rambling stableboy off. “What has my wife done now?”
“She…” He kept his head bowed, unable to look Gabriel in the eyes. “She came to me an hour ago, Your Grace, adamant that she wished to take one of the horses for a ride.”
“She… she did?” His face paled.
“I tried to warn her off, Your Grace. I swear I did. I even suggested seeking your approval first, but she is…” He swallowed. “Forgive me for saying, Your Grace, but she is bold. Very bold.”
A smile touched Gabriel’s lips. She is bold, isn’t she. But that smile fell as an ear-splitting crack of thunder ripped from the sky and shook the walls around them.
Gabriel spun and looked out the window where he saw the storm in a different light to earlier. It was a harrowing hellscape outside, the type of storm that brought homes down and uprooted trees as if they weighed nothing. And his wife was trapped in it…
“Sophia is out in this?”
“I am so sorry, Your Grace,” Marcus said again. “I tried to stop her. I would have, but she refused to listen!”
“How long?” He turned and stormed across the room. “How long, man?”
“And hour, Your Grace.”
“Which direction did she ride?”
“North, Your Grace. I could send men after her, if it pleases you? It will only take a moment to – Your Grace!” he yelped as Gabriel strode from the office. “Your Grace, the men? Shall I organize the men?”
“Don’t bother,” Gabriel called without slowing down. “I’ll go myself.”
For a full week, Gabriel had convinced himself that he did not care about Sophia. For a full well, Gabriel had done everything he could to pretend that this marriage did not matter to him, and by extension, neither did his wife. And for a full week, Gabriel had lived in a state of utter denial.
It was a week wasted, and his wife was in danger because of it. Because of him.
If anything has happened to her… no, do not think that. She is fine, she is going to be fine. She has to be fine…
It was easy to think the words but nearly impossible to believe them. The heavens screamed, the manor shook, and Gabriel’s world came tumbling down around his ears.
Gabriel rode as fast as the weather would permit.
Hardly able to see more than a few inches in front of his face, every step taken was a danger to him and his horse. And he simply did not care.
It was not yet night, but the thickness of the clouds, and the intensity of the rain, made the going tough. The ground was sloppy with mud, and it forced his horse to move at a trot when he would have preferred it to run at full pelt.
As he rode, he called as loud as he could for Sophia.
“Sophia!” his cry drowned out in the rain and the wind. “Sophia!”
It was naught but sweeping green fields in every direction. Not a soul in sight. No signs of his wife, who he knew must be lost and terrified.
The thought of her alone struck fear into Gabriel like he could not believe. For a man who had spent his entire life caring only about himself, it was a strange thing to worry so deeply for another.
While it might have been easy to deny why he was so afraid, Gabriel was just about done with all the lies.
He had tried to fight it. He had tried to deny it.
He had tried to argue against it. Oh, how he had tried.
But as he rode through the storm, battering against the rain and the wind, he could lie to himself no longer.
Gabriel cared about his wife, he feared for her safety, and he would not rest until she was in his arms.
What did this mean for his future, and that of his marriage? In truth, Gabriel did not care. The only thing he cared about was the present, that being finding Sophia alive and in one piece.
It took an hour of riding before he found something.
The edges of the forest appeared on the horizon. The trees looked black against the skyline, and they swayed and groaned as if the wind was trying to tear them from the earth. He pushed ahead, and on the edges of the tree line he saw something that made his stomach drop.
It was a lone horse charging from the forest.
Gabriel kicked his horse toward it, and he saw immediately the empty saddle. The horse rushed right past him, but he did not waste time going after the thing. Sophia was in that forest somewhere, he was sure of it. And he was just as sure that she needed him.
He reached the edges of the forest, climbed down from the horse, and threw the reigns over a fallen branch. His horse kicked back and tried to run as the world erupted, but he eased it to calm and double checked that it could not break free.
And then, not wasting another second, he marched head first into the dark forest.
Each step taken was a struggle. His boots sank into the mud. Rain lashed his face. Branches fell from the sky. He pushed forward always, tripping over the branches, scratching his face open on sticks, rain blinding him.
“Sophia!” he called through the howling winds. “Sophia! Where are you?!”
Terror reigned over him. The gaping pit in his stomach grew wider with each step taken so that it threatened to swallow him whole. The urge to give up was right there, to admit defeat and mourn his lost wife… No! Not yet! Just a little further…
He continued forward, calling for his wife.
“Sophia! Sophia! I’m sorry!”
Gabriel could not say how he spotted her when he did.
It was so dark that he could hardly make out anything more than a foot before his eyes.
Those same eyes stung from the rain. Everything looked the same.
But somehow, through the wilderness, his vision cleared as if a beam was shooting down from the sky to light his way.
More than that, he felt her. He could not explain it, but something pulled him in the right direction. The fates intervening, it must have been.
There she was, Sophia, curled into a ball underneath a fallen log. Her arms were wrapped around her body, she visibly shook from the cold, but she was alive.
“Sophia!” He tripped and stumbled as he ran for her. “Sophia! Can you hear me? Can you hear me?” He fell to his knees in the mud and pulled her trembling body close to his. “Sophia? It’s all right. You’re going to be all right…”
Were those words for her? Or were they for him?
Her eyes were closed but a soft moan escaped her lips. “Gabriel…” she said in a whisper. “Are you… is that you… how?”
“I’m here,” he said to her, his voice cracking. “You’re safe now.”
She was so weak that she couldn’t move. So broken that he feared touching her in case she crumbled. With no other choice, Gabriel summoned every last bit of energy that he had and hoisted her over his shoulder as he somehow climbed to his feet.
Then, once he had had safely in his arms, he began the long journey home.
This was his fault, and that was a truth that Gabriel could not escape. Wanting to prove herself, she had done something stupid, and very nearly paid the price. Had Gabriel just been a little kinder, had he told her the truth of how he felt, none of this would have happened.
But Sophia was alive, and that was what mattered, and that was what he focused on as he carried her home.