Chapter 22
“Are you not going to open that?” Gabriel asked Sophia. He looked at the letter that was placed on the table beside her and raised an eyebrow.
“I will,” she said simply. “When I feel like it.”
“It’s from your mother,” Gabriel said. “Perhaps it is urgent.”
“Unlikely,” she said. “But even if it is, it can wait.”
Gabriel eyed his wife with admiration.
His wife was changing before his eyes, and now that he was standing beside her rather than in her way, she was free to grow and bloom and be whatever she wished. And she knew it.
What was more, she knew that he liked this about her.
It was two days following Gabriel’s and Sophia’s midnight conversation.
A conversation that was needed the same way a fire needed kindling to survive.
Their relationship had reached breaking point, neither seemed to know what might happen next, and was it not for Gabriel’s apology there was a good chance this marriage would be done.
As a consequence of his apology, the building tension and apathy that once existed between them was gone completely. This left both parties free to accept what this marriage was becoming, willing now to take the next step forward…whatever that might be.
Neither knew exactly what was possible. And neither was willing to voice it. For now, it was enough that they were comfortable and on the same page. What would come would come when they were ready for it, and not before.
Now that I have finally stopped fighting how I feel, I’m excited to see what will come next. There’s no need to rush. No need to push. We have nothing but time, and I plan on spending as much of this time as I can with my wife.
This is starting to feel like what I imagine
a marriage is supposed to.
“Let’s assume then that your mother’s letter isn’t of utmost importance,” Gabriel said with humor. “If that is the case, what do you plan on doing today?”
“Hhmm…” They sat at the breakfast table together, and Sophia picked up a piece of toast on her plate and plopped it in her mouth. She did not use a fork, nor did she cut it into smaller, bite-sized pieces. “Whatever I want to do.”
Gabriel laughed. “How intriguing.”
“Isn’t that the fun of it?” She shrugged and then swallowed. “And the entire point. That I can do whatever I wish. No questions asked.”
“Save for riding into an oncoming storm.’
“And how long are you going to keep bringing that up,” she said dryly.
“At least a few more times.” He made sure to wink at her, just so that she would know he was joking. “All this talk of doing whatever you want, however, you want it, and yet I am yet to see anything that suggests you’ve changed as much as you claim.”
“Is that a challenge?” She raised both eyebrows at Gabriel.
Gabriel sat at the head of the table, and he mimicked her action by taking a piece of toast and tearing into it. He then took his time chewing before swallowing. “Maybe read the letter first, before making such outrageous declarations.”
“It won’t be anything important,” she scoffed.
“Probably not,” he agreed. “But it’s easy to claim rebellion when there is nothing to rebel against.”
“You really are…” She scowled at him and then rolled her eyes. “Fine, let us see what my mother deems so urgent.”
Sophia opened the letter sent by her mother.
She then read it, her brow creasing as her eyes scanned the text.
She was doing her best to appear unconcerned, as if nothing her mother said mattered to her, but he could see the effect the letter was having.
Just as he could see her fighting against herself.
“Well?” Gabriel asked.
“She…” Sophia clicked her tongue and scanned the letter again. “She asks that I join her today in London. Something to do with wanting to shop for new dresses.”
“Asks? Or is she telling you?”
Sophia put down the letter. “Where my mother is concerned, they are both the same.”
“What are you going to do?” He watched her closely for her answer.
Sophia hesitated. Despite this newfound desire to prove how free she was, she had not changed so much that she could simply dismiss her mother’s request without feeling as if she was doing the wrong thing. Change did not happen that quickly.
But she was trying, and that was what mattered most. That was why Gabriel felt more drawn to her with each passing day.
“I…” She bit into her lip, and her eyes flicked to the letter as if she was worried that it might bite her.
“I think I will…” Further contemplation, and Gabriel was certain she was going to fold.
Only then, he saw a shadow pass behind her eyes, and a sense of determination washed over her and she steeled herself.
“It is as I said, I am going to do whatever I wish.”
“Meaning…”
She picked up the letter, scrunched it into a ball and tossed it to the floor. “Meaning I will not be joining my mother today.”
“No?” Gabriel gasped playfully.
She looked at him flatly. “Do not sound so surprised.”
“Is it my fault that you continue to surprise me?”
“It should not be.” She used her hands to once again pick up a piece of toast and take a bite from it. “And I would thank you to finally accept the truth.”
“And the truth is?”
She swallowed the toast and winked. “That I am not the same woman who you married.”
Truer words had never been spoken. And don’t I know it, as I admire it, as I love that about her.
It was a slow process, each day a step forward, few steps taken back. Gabriel was careful with his emotions, and he was not one who cared deeply or became attached – he had spent his life training that side out of himself. But if Sophia could change, why couldn’t he?
The key, he was starting to realize, was wanting to change. And where Sophia was concerned, he wanted it. Oh, how he did.
As promised, Sophia did not join her mother that day. In fact, she told Gabriel that she planned on spending the day takin an inventory of some of the rooms in the manor so that she might apply herself to refurbishing the house.
That’s right, she told him. It was not a request. She did not seem to care that she was still new in this home. It was her home as far as she was concerned, and she could do with it as she wished.
“Unless you have a problem with that?” she asked him.
“Not at all,” he said back, meaning every word.
The difference in how Sophia and Gabriel now acted toward one another was noticeable. It was no longer tense. It was no longer unsure. It was honest and open, both accepting that this marriage had started in a strange place but had changed much since that first day.
They still did not talk about the future. And the tension that lived between them, born from their obvious feelings for one another, followed everywhere they went. For now, Gabriel was fine with such things. In fact, it excited him.
He had spent his whole life revolted by the mere concept of marriage. It was a prison to him, and he would be a fool to ever find himself in such a situation. But Sophia changed that view in him, proving slowly and surely that marriage could be so much more than what he was raised to believe.
It brought out a better side in Gabriel. It made him a better person, no longer selfish and caring only about himself. Everything he did now, he did so with Sophia in mind because he wanted her to be comfortable and happy.
“What on earth…” Gabriel gasped as he walked into one of the spare bedrooms later that same day. He started in the doorway, utterly bereft of words because he could not believe what he was seeing.
“Oh!” Sophia balked when she saw him, and she grimaced when she realized what he was walking into. “It is far from done.”
“I would hope so.”
“I am still figuring out what exactly I mean to do.”
“I figured.”
“Another day or two and –”
“You don’t have to justify it, Sophia,” he calmed her. “I trust you.”
“You… you do?” She seemed surprised by the concept.
“Of course I do,” he said. “Even if the current evidence…” He looked around the room. “… might make me question why I am.”
The bedroom was a verifiable mess. The mattress had been flipped onto the floor, the curtains had been torn down, the furniture had been shifted and moved into odd places, and the paintings that were meant to be hanging on the walls had been removed.
And that wasn’t to mention the wallpaper, half of which was peeled off the walls.
Gabriel shuddered to see the chaos, not to mention the changes. As already mentioned, change was not something Gabriel aspired for in any facet of his life. But this marriage…
He was starting to see change as a good thing. To try and stop it, to try and block it, caused confusion, and even danger as proven by Sophia. Now, he understood that when change stared him in the face, the best thing to do was to let it unfold naturally and good things would follow.
“Lucky for you, I did not come here to judge,” he said to her. “Even if I think I should.”
She laughed. “And what did you come here for? If not to judge…” She put her hands on her hips and raised both eyebrows at him.
Gabriel hesitated on his response… and it was done because he suddenly felt nervous. Absurd! He had no reason to be. But now that he and Sophia were in such a good place, every word said and every action taken carried a different kind of weight to it.
It is as if we are both waiting for the right time to voice what we seem to know.
“The day is a beautiful one,” he ventured, finally. As he spoke, he looked around the room, pretending to admire it. “Too beautiful to be spent indoors. I thought you might like to join me for a walk.”
“Oh.” She blinked. “A walk where?”
“There is a park not too far from here,” he explained. “About fifteen minutes by carriage. It is not a particularly grand or verdant grounds, but it is quiet, and good for walking.”
“And talking?”
“Yes, I suppose it could be. That depends on you.”