Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was a day that one week ago might have been impossible to imagine, but one that suddenly felt so ordinary and so obvious that Arabella could not fathom how she had almost missed it. And because of this, she determined she would not take it for granted.
“Timothy!” Caspian shouted in alarm.
Arabella followed his gaze across the garden to see what was the matter. When she saw why Caspian had cried out with such obvious worry, she laughed.
“He is perfectly fine,” she assured Caspian.
“Are you certain?” He did not take his eyes off Timothy. “What if…” He winced, and his body stiffened. “It looks dangerous.”
“Likely, it is.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
She laughed again. And then, feeling that the moment was right, Arabella reached over and rested her hand on Caspian’s knee. She waited for him to notice, which took a moment because he was so focused on Timothy. But when he finally felt her hand, he looked down at it, and then up at her.
“He is a young boy,” she assured him. “They are supposed to get into trouble.”
“I do not see how breaking one’s neck constitutes trouble.”
“He will be fine,” she assured him as she squeezed his knee. “He has done this before, and he is yet to fall.”
Caspian did not look so sure. Again, he turned to find Timothy. He watched the boy for a moment, clearly worried. That time, Arabella took his hand instead, squeezed it, showing him that there was nothing to fear.
“I do love that you are so concerned,” she said to him. “As I am sure that Timothy appreciates it.”
“I doubt that he notices,” Caspian scoffed.
She laughed. “Probably not. But I do. So that is something, no?”
Again, he turned to find her looking at him. Holding his hand, he did not pull away. And as their gazes held, she felt Caspian relaxing slowly. That alone was proof that he wanted to believe her; that he trusted her.
“I am new to this,” he admitted with an embarrassed grimace. “Truly, I have no idea what I am doing.”
“That is why I am here,” she said, still holding his hand. “To show you how.”
It was incredible what could change in a day.
Yesterday, Arabella was certain that she and Caspian would never make this marriage work. He clearly did not want it to, and she had convinced herself that such things were for the best. It would never be a happy marriage, and that was something that she was just going to have to live with.
Today… Well, things could not be more different.
It had started when she was breaking her fast with Timothy. Having only just sat down, Arabella had almost cried out in surprise when Caspian walked into the breakfast room and asked if he could join them. And while Timothy had not said as much, Arabella saw how pleased the little boy was.
Once they finished eating, Caspian surprised her again. He asked what she and Timothy were doing and then asked if he could join them. He did not tell her; he did not make demands. Rather, he wanted her to give him permission.
Which, of course, she did.
That saw them all adjourn to the back garden together.
There, Timothy ran about and played among the hedges.
He laughed, and he skipped, and he took pleasure in knowing that both Arabella and Caspian were there watching him.
As he did that, she and Caspian sat down on the grass together, enjoying both their company and being with their son.
Is that what he is? Our son? It feels so strange to say, but what else can he be but that?
It was the sight of Timothy climbing a tree that had Caspian worrying. He watched, with a rigged frame, as Timothy swung from a low branch, calling out for them to watch and admire his talent.
“He is happy that you are here,” Arabella told Caspian as they watched Timothy swing from the branch. “Truly, I know that he is.”
Caspian smiled at her. “It is well overdue. I have wanted to… for so long. I ought to have tried harder with Timothy sooner.”
“You are now,” she said. “That is what matters.”
“What of you?” Caspian asked her.
“What of me?”
He was still holding her hand, and he squeezed it as he looked at her. The sun shone behind him, so that his face was clear and the look in his eyes was unmissable. He admired her as he looked at her. And he appreciated her in ways that she was starting to understand and relish.
Those eyes… He could look at her with them all day, and she would get tired of it. Even better, she might spend much of that time wondering what was on his mind and whether it matched her own wicked thoughts.
“Are you happy that I am here?”
“Do you need to ask?” she said with a smile.
“I just did.”
She shook her head at him, smiling all the while. “Thrilled, in fact. Saying that you want one thing is easy, Caspian. But doing it? Proving your words? That is another matter entirely.”
“I meant what I said yesterday,” he told her. “I want to be better. To prove that I am not my father and that this marriage might be more than promised.”
“I know,” she said. “As I meant what I said to you. You are not him, and that you care so much…” She laughed at how awkward it was. “That is proof enough.”
That Caspian wanted to become a better man was one thing, and if that was all it was, Arabella would have considered herself lucky.
While she knew she could be a good mother to Timothy, she also understood that a boy needed a father.
Now that Caspian was willing to try and be that man, she was eager to see where things would go.
But it was more than that. So much more.
They had not spoken directly about what happened between them the previous evening. Such a conversation as that… I might die of embarrassment! But a sense of knowing hung between them, making every encounter, every conversation, and every stray look intense and purposeful.
Even now, outdoors and in public, Arabella felt the tension sitting with her and Caspian.
He sat close to her, their hands held, their knees touching.
Every few moments, his eyes would stray, tracing down her body, pausing on her lips and her chest and her thighs, and she would wonder what was on her mind, and if it matched what was on her own.
Hours later, she still felt his tongue between her legs. Hours later, she still remembered how her body had exploded as he had teased her. Hours later, those memories were so vivid that she wondered too often when something like that might happen between them again.
Should I ask it of him? Should I give permission, or should I wait for him to take control, as I know he wants to do?
And it was not as if Caspian had forgotten what they spoke about either. To test it, Arabella tried to pull her hand free at one point, only for Caspian to hold it tight and raise an eyebrow, letting her know he was still in control. That single action was enough to almost undo her completely.
Oh yes, that their marriage was finally finding its footing was a good thing, and she was so grateful for that.
But the fact that it also meant that they might have more chances to explore one another, to experience those types of pleasure that were once the stuff of dreams…
Well, it was no wonder that Arabella’s mood was so piqued.
“What is that?” Caspian asked her suddenly.
“What?” Her eyes widened, her cheeks flushed, and she looked away. “What is what?”
“That look on your face just now,” he asked her coyly. “What are you thinking about?”
Why do I have the sense that he knows exactly what I am thinking about?
She considered telling him, but the timing was not right. Not outside, and Timothy was close by. However, Caspian looked at her, sensing what she wanted to say, and her cheeks kept flushing bright pink because she was just so eager to tell him…
Thankfully, the moment was interrupted when Arabella spied a footman hurrying from indoors, down the garden path, and straight toward them both.
“Your Grace!” the footman announced when he reached them. “A letter has arrived for you, just now.”
“Who is it from?” Caspian asked.
“Oh…” The footman blinked nervously. “I am sorry, Your Grace, but the letter is for Her Grace.” He held the letter out for Arabella.
Even without having to take it, she knew who it was from.
It was always going to come to this…
With a shaking hand, Arabella took the letter and saw immediately the seal that belonged to her father. No doubt, he was writing to her as a reminder that she do as he demanded. Did he suspect that she might waver? Or was he simply taking precautions?
“Your father?” Caspian asked, his voice suddenly dark.
“Yes…” She swallowed the lump that appeared in her throat.
She held the letter out as if it might suddenly catch alight. Hand still shaking, a cloud seemed to pass across the sun, darkening the day. For a moment, the happiness she felt, the safety and the comfort, faded and were gone, and she was back to being that same scared little girl.
“Arabella!” Timothy cried out suddenly. “Look at me! Look!”
It was Timothy’s joyous cry that snapped Arabella from her funk. She started and looked over, a smile spreading up her lips when she saw him waving at her. And then she laughed when he did a handstand, one that lasted a second before he crashed into the grass.
From there, Arabella pulled back even further.
She took note of Timothy, then of Caspian beside her. She looked over the garden, the townhouse… Her new life. What was she so afraid of? Why did she care at all what her father might do or say? He did not own her, and if he tried anything, Caspian would be there to see her through it.
That was what this marriage was. It was not about who controlled whom. It was not about personal freedoms. It was knowing that Caspian was there for her when she needed him, as she was there for him.
The lump in her throat vanished. The pit in her stomach was gone. And when she looked at the letter again, her hand was no longer shaking.
“Shall we read it together?” Caspian asked firmly.
“No,” she said and then laughed. “In fact, I do not think I will waste our time. “Here…” She held the letter back out for the footman to take. “Throw this away, will you? I do not wish to read it.”
“Your Grace.” The footman took the letter.
Caspian looked at her with a frown.
“What?” she asked when she saw him.
“Nothing…” He took her hand again and squeezed it. “Nothing at all.”
With that done, she turned with Caspian and went back to watching Timothy play. He tried another handstand and fell again. Then he tried a third time, able to hold it for a few seconds longer. Caspian laughed at his efforts; she laughed as well, and Arabella felt perfectly at peace.
This was her life now. Her father did not control her, and never before had she been so happy.