Chapter 6
“Just to be sure, you are aware that it is your wedding that you are attending, and not your funeral?” Lady Anna asked jokingly as she took the seat to Lucy’s right.
“Oh, do not be mean.” Lady Helena sat on the other side and took Lucy’s hand.
“She is just a little dazed, is all. Right Lucy? All of this…” She gestured across the dining hall, which was currently filled with scores of wedding guests.
“It feels like just yesterday that you told us of the engagement. And look at you now. Her Grace, the Duchess of Calderwick.”
“It was very sudden,” Lady Anna agreed. “What was it, now? Two weeks that you came to us?”
“Twelve days,” Lucy sighed. “Twelve whole days was all it took.”
“His Grace must have called in a favor or two to acquire the license is such short time,” Helena said rightly. “Which I choose to see as a good thing?”
Anna snorted. “And why is that?”
“Because it means that he is excited for this union. Even eager.” Helena looked at both Anna and Lucy as if she needed them to believe it. “At the very least, he wants this marriage to work out for the best. Otherwise, he would have dragged it out.”
“You know that is not true,” Helena argued. “Just as you know the true reason.”
“I am only trying to be positive!” Anna snapped. “Which you could do a little more of…” She widened her eyes and indicated to Lucy, who sat despondently between the two of them.
Helena grimaced and took Lucy by the hand. “You are right, of course. Yes, the circumstances leading to this marriage were a little strange, but I am sure that bright pastures are what await you. It can only be that way.”
Lady Anna and Lady Helena were Lucy’s two closest friends.
When they were younger, they were even involved in a little club that they had aptly named ‘The League of Untamed Hearts.’ In essence, the purpose of the club was to declare to the world that these particular ladies would not give in to what society expected.
They would choose their own destiny, and marriage would only arrive if it dared to keep up with the freedom they each aspired to.
In hindsight, it was all rather silly, a dream that young girls are only capable of until they turn into women, at which time the world’s realities are forced upon them.
Nonetheless, her two friends looked at Lucy hopefully, desperate to turn her mood around. They knew the circumstances of this marriage, how it came to be and what it was designed for, but that did not stop them from hoping for the best.
If only I was able to share in their positivity… if only I was able to ignore reality, even for a day, and pretend that this is not the worst day of my life… the worst day of my life so far, that is.
“Perhaps,” Lucy sighed, and then she forced a smile. “You are right. Maybe His Grace is… is more than he seems. And maybe this marriage will be something wonderful.” She looked between her two friends; a forced smile painted across her face.
As for her two friends? They shared a look of concern because even they could not buy into the clear lie that Lucy was trying to sell herself.
This marriage, whatever it promised to be, would not be a happy one. It might not be a sad one, to be fair. It might not lead to woes and misery. But it was still a marriage, still a cage from which Lucy could not escape, and that was all that mattered.
“At least your father looks pleased,” Anna noted. As she did, she looked across the room to where Lucy’s father chatted merrily with some friends. “I heard him speaking earlier and he cannot stop bragging that his daughter is now a duchess.”
“Your stepmother should take a leaf from his book…” Helena grinned. “Have you seen her? She pretends to be pleased but it is so clear how upset she is. As if you marrying a duke is somehow a slight to her.”
This, at least, made Lucy chuckle.
Indeed, her stepmother was none too pleased that Lucy had found herself engaged to a duke. As ridiculous as it sounded, she seemed to think that this stole her power and place in the world, that she was suddenly second best because Lucy’s title now superseded her own.
“There it is,” Helena said when she saw the smile. “Finally, she smiles. Now, was that so hard?”
Lucy looked flatly at her friend. “Remind me again, why I invited you?”
“Because you would not know what to do without me,” Helena said. “And as miserable as you are, you would be even more so were I not here.”
“Me too!” Anna said. “We are here for you, Lucy, remember that. No matter what happens, or how bad you think things are, we will always be here for you.” She kept a hold of Lucy’s hand, squeezing it tight. “We’re your friends and that will never change.”
Lucy found her smile growing, and a tear leaked from her eye.
“I know it. Both of you.” She looked between them.
“And I am sorry about my sour mood. I know things will improve and that this…” She gestured toward the guests, the hall, the situation in general.
“That one day I might look back on this and laugh at how morose I was.”
“We know you will.” Anna put an arm around Lucy.
As alone as I feel, it is good to remember that I still have friends in this world. That this is not the end of me… even if it feels like it.
It was two weeks ago now when Lucy had been forced to say yes to the Duke’s proposal. In those two weeks, so much had changed in Lucy’s life, and still she struggled to comprehend how things had come to this. Where it all went wrong…
First and foremost, the deception that she and the Duke forced on the ton had been bought by all.
As far as most were aware, they met at the Fairvale patronage, they hit it off instantly, and before the evening was through, the Duke proposed because both knew that it was fate and such things needed to be taken advantage of at once.
Next, it was two weeks of chaos. Two weeks of Lucy faking smiles, speaking wistfully of the man she was set to marry, and strengthening the lie because she knew that she must.
When the wedding day finally arrived, there was a small part of her that was relieved. In her mind, once the vows were done, it would be over, and she could settle in for a marriage of… what did the Duke promise me? Freedom? A laughable concept and I am a fool if I believe a word of it.
The problem, as she saw it, was that she did not know the Duke at all. He told her one thing, but that did not mean he didn’t want another. And in the past two weeks, not once had she spoken to him. Not once!
Even today, the ceremony passed in a blur. The Duke could hardly bring himself to look her in the eyes. They spoke their vows in hushed whispers. And while Lucy was there in body, it was as if she watched on from afar, a dream that she could not wake from, her new reality that was inescapable.
Now that she was at the post-ceremony breakfast, the misery compiled as she sat herself down at the head table, alone, because the Duke avoided her as if she carried the plague.
Whatever this marriage might be, it would not be happy, and it certainly would not be freeing. Of that, Lucy had no doubt.
“I will say one thing.” Helena sat herself up and then leaned forward, her eyes fixed across the room. “He is handsome.”
“Helena!” Anna gasped.
“What?” Helena shrugged. “He is. Oh, come now…” She looked plainly at her two friends, Lucy especially. “You cannot tell me that you have not thought it at least once.”
“It is not appropriate,” Anna said. “All things considered…”
“I know that,” Helena snapped. “Just as I know why this marriage is happening – I am aware that this is not a love match, is my point. Even still…” She flashed her eyes wickedly at Lucy and then found the Duke across the room once more.
“He is rather divine. If you’re to be forced into a marriage you do not want, at least let it be with a man who looks like that. ”
Lucy shrugged. “I suppose he is not so bad.”
“Not so bad!” Helena cried. This had a few heads turning, which forced her to drop her voice. “Look at him, Lucy. Look at him and tell me that he is ‘not so bad.’” She winked. “And a little better than that.”
Lucy looked flatly at her friend, wanting this topic done with. But her friend just grinned and flicked her head back toward where her husband stood. And then she pumped her eyebrows.
Sighing loudly and purposefully, Lucy decided to play along.
She sat herself up and looked across the room. There were a score or two of guests in attendance, most seated at various tables, many standing in small circles as they chatted among themselves.
Through the crowds, she eventually found her husband.
He stood on the other side of the room, further proof that he wanted little to do with Lucy. And while this annoyed her greatly, she continued to watch him… to study him… to look at him in ways she had not dared to do until now.
Obviously, he was handsome. Of that, there was little argument to be had.
With his dark hair and darker eyes. With his sharp jawline and full lips.
And then there was the way he held himself, brimming with power and confidence and raw masculinity.
He stood with a group of men, and while they were all of similar proportions, they just looked small by comparison.
“See,” Helena pressed. “Isn’t he lovely?”
“He is… fine,” Lucy said as her pulse began to quicken.
“Just fine?” It was clear from the way that Helena looked at Lucy that she did not believe her. Not one little bit.
Lucy could not explain what she felt at that moment? Was it curiosity? Even excitement? Absurd, as this marriage was not remotely romantic. It was a marriage of convenience, and she wanted as little to do with her husband as was possible. And yet…
I suppose he is handsome. And confident. And I do rather like the way he glowers… the furrow in his brow when he becomes annoyed. And those lips…
Suddenly, Marcus looked up. It was as if he felt her watching him, and his head whipped around and their eyes met. And then they held.
Lucy’s eyes widened, her heart leapt through her mouth, and she looked away, slinking down in her chair, her cheeks turned bright pink. And all the while, she was able to feel her husband watching her.
Anna and Helena stayed with Lucy a little while longer, not wanting to leave her alone while she was in such a despondent mood. Soon, however, other guests from the wedding started to approach the table so they could congratulate her, and that was Anna and Helena’s time to leave.
Her father was most proud, and he was not shy in telling her.
“I still cannot believe it.” His cheeks were flushed pink from having been drinking, and he beamed proudly as if this was the best day of his life.
“My daughter, a duchess. If you had told me just one month ago…” He laughed and shook his head.
“This is a good thing you’ve done, Lucy.
Everyone says so. And I just know how happy you will be. ”
Oh, how she wanted to tell her father the truth. Lucy felt tremendous guilt about it all, that she was effectively lying to him about how this marriage came to be. But would good would the truth do? It was too late for that.
“I know I will, Father.” She took his hand with both of hers and made sure to smile. “I am so… so excited for what this might bring.”
As hard as it all was, Lucy was able to find some pleasure when Lady Beatrice came to see her. One would think that such a marriage as this would please her stepmother, seeing as she was the one who wanted Lucy to marry in the first place. But one would be wrong.
“Lucy…” Lady Beatrice stood back from the table and while she did not scowl, she did not smile either.
Her expression was restrained, but Lucy could see the side of her lip twitch.
“Congratulations on the ceremony, and your choice in husband.” She took a deep breath.
“I do pray that the two of you find happiness.”
With Lady Beatrice was Lucy’s stepsister, Lady Amelia. While she had her mother’s long nose, the rest of her face was perfectly symmetrical, and her big blue eyes were dazzling. A true beauty in every sense of the word, she, at least, was able to feign happiness.
“We are both so happy for you,” Lady Amelia said with a smile. “Truly, not in one million years could we have guessed…” She laughed and shook her head. “This is too good to be true, Lucy. And I cannot imagine how pleased you must be feeling.”
“Very,” Lucy said simply as she eyed her stepmother and stepsister. “It is like a dream.”
Her stepmother snorted. “Let’s hope you do not wake from it suddenly. Dreams, as wonderful as they might be, do not last.”
“This one will I am sure,” Amelia said to her mother. “Lucy would not be here otherwise.”
It was clear that Lady Beatrice was displeased by this union, and she did not even try and hide it. Amelia, however, was harder to read. While she had always been kind to Lucy, she had never been friendly, and Lucy sensed in her someone who was calculating and ruthless when she needed to be.
She has always seen me as a threat, which I blame her mother for. Rather than trying to make us friends, she pitted us against one another, and this is the result.
“Thank you both so much for coming.” Lucy’s smile was exaggerated. “Perhaps I will ask my new husband if he has any friends for you, Amelia? It is the least I can do.”
Lady Beatrice narrowed her eyes.
Lady Amelia almost did the same, only to soften them and giggle. “Oh, yes please. You are too kind.”
That was the total extent of joy that Lucy was able to glean from the day’s events. A few seconds of fun found in hours of misery and torture.
For the rest of the day, she sat alone, smiling her thanks to those who came to see her, secretly lamenting her life and what was to come of it. And all the while, she watched her husband across the room…
I just wish I knew what he wanted. Or rather, if what he has told me that he wants is the truth of it. If so, there is nothing to fear. But if he is lying…
Finally, after many hours, her dashing husband approached her. He did so with dispassion, no smile to be seen, no sense of happiness found behind his eyes.
“It is time that we depart,” he said simply.
“Oh?”
“Our carriage awaits and we need to be getting back.” The way he spoke to her, she might as well have been a mule he was trying to lead to water.
Lucy sighed deeply and then rose as asked. Her marriage had only just begun but if today was any indication, it promised to be a most tortured affair.