Chapter 18 #2
He exhaled deeply. “What is there to tell? My mother saw me and my sister as tools, there to be molded and used because what other reason is there to have children. And my father…” His upper lip curled.
“He was a perfectionist, and he settled for nothing less. Together, they were strict, they were cold, they were…” He started to tremble.
“They were not how I always imagined parents should be. Not even close.”
“They weren’t that, Marcus.” She squeezed his arm. “Just because they were one way, does not mean you must be the same.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe it is easier not to take that chance? I would not wish upon my worst enemy the childhood I had, and I certainly would not wish it upon a child of my own.”
“But you have a child of your own.”
“James… he is not mine.”
“But he is.” She stepped in closer and forced him to look at her.
“And now it is up to you to decide the future that he has.” Then, she smiled, and it seemed to light the darkness.
“From what I saw earlier today, if you really try, and if you accept what you are to him, there is no reason that he won’t have a most wonderful life.
Just as there is no reason you won’t be a most wonderful father. ”
The faintest hint of a smile tugged his lips. “Do you think so…”
“I know so.”
That was when Marcus allowed the smile to shine.
It was not so bright at Lucy’s smile. It was certainly not the type to light up a room. What it did, however, was break through Marcus’ walls so that Lucy could see him clearly for perhaps the first time. Standing there in the dark, no longer hidden, and wanting to believe her words.
Just as he wants to change… just as he wants to be a better person. If not for himself, if not for me, then for James.
“I think the milk is ready now,” Lucy said with a soft chuckle. She squeezed his arm again and flicked her eyes to the pot.
“Right…” He held his smile for a moment longer. “Let me just…” A final moment, his smile just for her, and he turned to pour the milk.
Lucy breathed a sigh of relief, just as her heart fluttered uncontrollably. In the grand scheme of their marriage, she wondered if one day they would look back and nominate this moment right here as that which turned things around. She sure hoped so.
“Here we are.” Marcus poured some milk into two glasses. “Careful, it’s hot.”
“Thank you.” She stepped forward to pick up the glass. “Let’s see if you make it like my mother – ow!” Lucy yelped as her hand wrapped around the glass, only for the heat of the milk to burn her.
She yanked her hand back, accidentally knocked the glass with it, which in turn sent the glass to the tile floor. It smashed at her feet, glass flew, and milk spilled.
“Oh no!” Lucy cried. “I did not – here.” She dropped to her knees without thinking, already reaching for the broken glass.
“Lucy, wait!”
Marcus was down with her, and his hands grabbed her own before she had a chance to collect any of the glass. His touch was somehow firm and gentle at the same time. It was warm, comforting, and she felt his pulse rippled up her body.
She gasped, tried to pull her hands away, but he did not let her go.
There they were, crouched on their knees, their faces inches apart, holding hands.
Lucy tried to speak but her tongue had swollen in her mouth.
Marcus said nothing, squeezing her hands as he looked into her eyes.
In them, she saw a sense of recognition for what she had done tonight. Just as she saw his desire…
Outside, a cloud shifted, the moon broke free, and its white line shone upon them.
Lucy’s heart started to race. She looked away, felt Marcus still watching her, and looked back.
His dark eyes bore into her, she felt not just his stare, but his mind and his soul as if they were one.
His eyes flicked to her lips, her own lips moistened, and just like that, this marriage became very real.
Stand up, Lucy. Walk away. Be glad for how tonight has gone, and do not risk making it worse…
She heard the words, but she ignored them. For all her claims that she did not know what she wanted in this marriage, it did her little good. As things stood, she knew exactly what she wanted, and it stared her directly in the face so that she could not miss it.
Marcus licked his lips. Lucy did the same. Marcus tilted his head. Lucy did the same. Marcus started to lean forward, and Lucy did the same…
“Oh!” a voice cried suddenly from across the kitchen.
It was like a pane of glass shattering, and it broke the moment with just as much force.
Lucy started and fell back. Marcus released her hands and jumped to his feet. Lucy was quick to follow, and just as quick to take a step back, not wanting to be too close as if that might give them away.
“I am so sorry, Your Grace!” It was a member of staff, but Lucy could not see who in the dark. “I heard something shatter and –”
“It is quite fine,” Marcus spoke over them.
“I do hope I am not disturbing something,” the continued. “I only wished to make sure that –”
“As I said, it is fine.”
Lucy felt embarrassed, even if she knew there was no need. She dared to glance at Marcus, who resolutely refused to look at her. The moment between them had gone, it certainly would not come back, and so it was time to go before anything else might happen.
“I should go to bed,” Lucy said. “Thank you for the milk…” She laughed gently, kept her head down, and near sprinted from the kitchen.
One might think to be upset with how things had just ended, but Lucy decided to look on the bright side.
She hurried to her room, she climbed back under the covers, and she wore a huge smile because she knew just how important this night was…
just as she knew how important it would before the future.
What might happen next? She did not know. But she was excited to find out, and that mattered most of all.
Heart racing, she worried she might not fall asleep, but as soon as she lay down her head and closed her eyes, sleep found her. And that, more than anything, should have told her all that she needed to know about the duke, her feelings, and what tomorrow might bring.