Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
It was the boredom that Clara found the most challenging.
She had no books to read. Nothing to write with either.
Dammit, she would have been happy with a needle and thread to keep herself busy.
But Lord Wolfe seemed not to care for her state of mind, happy to leave her abandoned in this little cabin until he deemed it time to do… whatever it was he meant to do next.
He will take me somewhere else. Somewhere, I can live the rest of my life without threatening him or his family’s name. I have to believe that…
Yet it was because she had so much time on her hands, nothing to do but sit about and think of all that had happened, that Clara could not stop returning to Alaric and that which had brought her here in the first place.
When Lord Wolfe had come to her and told her what Alaric had said, she had believed it, for why would he lie?
And with how guarded Alaric was emotionally, how determined he seemed to keep her at arm’s length, it felt to her that this was a natural consequence of his ever-troubled battle against demons that she still did not fully understand.
Did he really kill his wife? And was he really doing this to protect her? It made less sense to her now than it did. And if that was the case… is there a chance that Alaric still cares for me? That if I were to see him one more time, things might be different.
She toiled with these thoughts for an entire day and night. She felt sick with grief. Tormented with guilt. And wrecked by the sense that she had made a terrible mistake…
Needless to say, when she heard the sound of an approaching horse two days after being left her, she jumped to her feet and raced outside. By then, she had come to a decision on what she wanted to do. And regardless of what Lord Wolfe might want, she would not be dissuaded.
“Lord Wolfe!” she called to him as he appeared from the forest. “Thank God you have returned.”
He pulled the horse up by where she stood and then climbed down from it without acknowledging her. He was red in the face and nervous looking… something is wrong.
“I am glad that you have returned,” she said, despite how he was acting.
“For I have been thinking about what you said.” She waited for him to speak, but he had turned his back on her, fiddling now with a bag strapped to the horse’s saddle.
“I understand well enough why you think it best that Alaric and I do not see each other again. And believe me, I have no intention of disrupting things for you. But surely you must agree that if my marriage to Alaric was to flourish, the result would be to your favor.” She waited for him to say something – anything!
Yet still, he was on that back, cursing under his breath.
“And flourish it will,” she pressed, her nervousness growing as she eyed Lord Wolfe.
“Alaric cares for me, Lord Wolfe. I know he does. Just as I care for him. There is no reason that…” She bit into her lip, her stomach twisting when she spied Lord Wolfe snatch something from the bag, although she could not see what it was.
“That you need fear. Take me to see Alaric. Let him decide what is to be done. Please.”
Lord Wolfe sighed and shook his head. “Did you really think that was an option? After everything that I told you.”
“I have to believe it.”
“Your Grace…” His back was still to her, and she saw his shoulders slump in defeat. For a second, she allowed herself hope, thinking that he was giving in. Only then, he turned around.
Her eyes widened, and her heart leapt through her mouth. “What… what are you doing?”
“The only thing I can, I am afraid.” He held a pistol in his hand, and it was pointed right at her. “Not the outcome that I was hoping for, but the only possible one to take. Believe me when I say this, Your Grace, I did not want things to go this far.”
“You… Lord Wolfe…” Her voice cracked, and she took a step back. “I do not understand…” Eyes on that pistol, she could hardly breathe. “If you are that concerned about what I might say or do, I promise you that –”
“You can make all the promises you like,” he said to her. “They will do you no good. The simple fact is that I cannot risk you and Alaric seeing one another again. My hand has been forced, as it is.”
“You cannot…” She dared to glance up from the pistol. “But why? What do you mean by that?” Her mind raced with possibilities. Was I right all along? Had Alaric changed his mind?
“It does not matter.”
“Of course it does!”
“No.” He raised the pistol slightly, his finger balanced on the trigger. “It does not. This needs to be done, and that is all there is to it. Please know that I am sorry, Your Grace. I had hoped it would not come to this.”
“You do not have to –”
“And do not try that nonsense with me,” he sighed, almost looking regretful. “If you knew half of what I have done to clean up after my nephew, you would know that shooting you here and now, where regrettable, is not something I will lose sleep over.”
Her blood turned cold, and she very nearly vomited. “Does Alaric know?”
He scoffed. “Of course not – were you not paying attention? This is to keep him away from you! And vice versa. The two of you…” He snarled and shook his head with annoyance. “The headache this marriage has caused me.”
“It was never meant to.”
“And yet it has.”
“Please…” Her voice cracked as her body shook. “We can… You do not have to do this. Please!”
“I do.” He sighed again, still appearing regretful, even upset that things had come to this. Is he that good of an actor? Or does he actually believe that this is the only way? And does that even matter?
Lord Wolfe gestured for her to turn around, and she did so, for she had no other choice.
“Into the forest,” he commanded of her.
“Wh – why?”
“I cannot risk your body being found,” he said. “My hope is that wolves will get to you, for it is that time of year. Now, come on, walk please.”
Her entire body was shaking. Her mind was addled. She could barely control her limbs, as they threatened to collapse beneath her. But a gun pointed into one’s back will have a person doing what they must to stay alive, and Clara started to walk as she had been told.
Around the cabin they went, heading deeper into the forest.
“You will not get away with this,” she tried desperately.
He chuckled. “I will.”
“Alaric –”
“It’s not your concern,” he snapped. “He will believe that you ran when left alone, for it will make the most sense to one of his ilk. So certain is he that he doesn’t deserve love that he will accept the worst because it fits his own delusions. It might be hard for him, but that is for the best.”
She shook her head as she continued to walk, tripping over a log, getting her dress tangled in the brush. It was muddy and hard to push ahead, but that gun… she could not risk stopping. “He will never believe you.”
“You’d better hope he does,” Lord Wolfe said. “I need him to accept his fate and vanish again as he had once done. But if he refuses…” He scoffed as if annoyed at the thought. “This gun comes with more than one bullet, if you catch my meaning.”
She gasped and turned around without thinking. “You wouldn’t dare!”
He frowned with bewilderment. “Your Grace, surely by this point you have come to realize there is little I will not do. And if I am forced to kill my nephew to keep his secrets hidden, so be it.” He glanced about them next, taking note of the forest which grew thick all about so that everything looked the same. “I suppose this spot here will do.”
“Please…” Her chin wobbled. Tears began to well. “You do not have to do this.”
“If it is any consolation…” He pointed the gun right at her, cocking it back. “I did rather like you, you know. More than that, pleb Helena, anyhow. You will be missed, Your Grace, know that.”
This cannot be it. This cannot be how it ends! Yet she looked down the barrel of that gun, her eyes then straying to Lord Wolfe’s, where she saw the grim determination reflecting in his cold glare. Nothing would change his mind… and it is time I accept that and make my peace.
No peace could be found. Regret became her only companion. Regret at a life not lived as she had wished. Regretted all the stupid mistakes she had ever made. And mostly, she regretted that she did not get a chance to see Alaric one more time and tell him how she felt. That stung the most.
Eyes closed. Breath held. Clara waited for the end…