Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Clara heard three noises simultaneously, although she could not say what order they came in.
One was a loud thud and a crash.
Another was the sound of someone crying out in pain, or perhaps it was surprise? It happened too quickly to tell.
And the third, that which had her eyes snapping open, was the unmistakable bang that could only be the sound made by the firing of the pistol.
She cried out, jumped on the spot as her heart leapt through her throat, and then snapped open her eyes, fully expecting to see the world melting away before her as her life came to an end…
There was no pain felt from the bullet. And at first, she did not see Lord Wolfe standing before her, just more forest, so that in a split second, she wondered if she had imagined it all. But then she came into herself properly, her vision adjusting, at which point she understood what had happened.
Lord Wolfe was on the ground before her, and on top of him was Alaric.
“Argh!” Lord Wolfe cried out as he struggled underneath Alaric’s mighty frame. “Unhand me!”
“Have you lost your mind!” Alaric had the man pinned to the ground, his arms held down, his legs kicking wildly as he bucked and writhed in an effort to free himself.
“Alaric!” Clara cried out in surprise. Is this real? Have I died and this is the afterlife? What is going on!
Alaric’s head snapped up when he heard his voice called. His expression was severe and hate-filled, but it softened when it fell on her. “Clara!” he cried. “Are you… did the bullet…” He looked her over quickly.
“I don’t…” She felt her body, knowing right away that the bullet had missed her. “No,” she said with relief. “It missed me.”
“Thank God.”
“How?” she exclaimed. “How are you here? What is going on!”
Alaric’s expression turned severe again, and he was back to glaring at his uncle. “I paid my uncle a visit this morning, demanding that he bring you to see me.”
“You…. you did?” Her heart began to flutter.
“And he told me he would,” Alaric growled. “He promised. But I could see that something was wrong.”
“I had no choice!” Lord Wolfe squealed from beneath Alaric. “You forced me to do this! Both of you! I had no choice!”
“You would kill my wife!” Alaric roared at him. “Why? To what end!”
“You know why!” Lord Wolfe snarled, coming into himself so that he had stopped fighting.
He wore a look of severity, as if he hoped to glare Alaric into heeding his words.
“I did not want to do this, Alaric. If it were up to me, I would have done as I promised – taken her away so she might be forgotten. You did this!”
“Do not dare blame me!”
“But it is you who is to blame!” he shouted back.
“And you know it to be true! I could not risk the two of you staying together, for we both know how that ends. But you…” He turned his head and sneered at Clara.
“You are both too stupid to see it. This marriage does not have a happy ending, no matter what you might think. I did the only thing I could – all I have ever done!”
Alaric shook his head. “You don’t know that…”
“I know it better than anyone,” he continued as if he were in the right.
It made Clara feel sick, the conviction in his words, the belief that he knew them better than they did.
“You came to me for a reason, Alaric. Not because you were scared. Not because you were having second thoughts. But because you know, deep down, what you are. Just as you know that if this marriage is left to run its course, it will end in tragedy.”
Alaric shook his head again, but his anger was fading. “It won’t.”
“Ha! Even you do not believe that.”
“I… this is different. Clara is not Helena.”
“It makes no difference,” he hissed. “I am doing as I must, so that you do not have to. This way, your hands are at least clean. Think of it as a mercy.”
“A… a mercy?”
“She needs to die, Alaric. It is the only way to save this family.” His voice softened, as did Alaric’s grip on him. Oh no… “I did not want her death to be on your hands. Not again. You must understand that I am doing this for you. Please…”
“No…”
“Yes,” he said. “Release me. Go home. Forget about this. Nobody needs to know but us.”
“Alaric…” Clara’s voice wavered when she saw in Alaric’s eyes a look that she recognized only too well. It was that constant battle that he had been fighting within himself since the day that they met. One that, by the looks of things, he was finally done fighting again.
Slowly, Alaric pushed himself off Lord Wolfe.
And then, just as slowly, with a sense of extreme resignation, he walked to where the pistol had fallen in the brush and bent to pick it up.
Her heart caught in her throat. She could not believe that he would do this. He loves me. Surely, he knows that? Surely this is not how it ends… “Alaric…” she said again. “Please…”
Holding the pistol, unable to look at her, Alaric sighed and shook his head. “I have no choice, Clara. This is the only way.”
She gasped as Alaric turned and aimed the pistol. Only, not at her, as she had worried. Rather, he turned it on his uncle, who had just now climbed to his feet.
“What are you doing?” his uncle asked.
Alaric’s arm was straight, but it shook violently. “You were going to kill her,” he snarled at his uncle. “And for what? To protect our family’s name? Is honor that important to you?”
“It is everything!” Lord Wolfe snarled. “Do not pretend you do not know this – your father! He knew it too. If he was here instead of me, he would do the same!”
Alaric shook his head. “I don’t… I do not care about what my father might do. Not anymore.”
Lord Wolfe’s eyes widened with anger. “You are a disgrace, Alaric. A burden!”
“Perhaps…” He cocked the gun. “And once, that might have broken me. My entire life…” His body was shaking as he aimed the pistol.
“All I have ever done is what I thought my father would want of me. And the one time I dared to stray…” His chin began to wobble.
“I am through with doing what is expected. What you deem as right.”
“No…” Lord Wolfe seemed to realize then that there would be no changing Alaric’s mind. His eyes were wide still, but now with fear, and he took a step back. “Alaric, please. There is no need to do this…”
“I know it,” he said, his voice cold.
“Do you want this on your conscience!” Lord Wolfe cried. “First your wife, next your father, and now me! Can you live with that?”
Alaric exhaled, and his expression became one of resignation; shame haunted his eyes, but a sense of shame he had long since learned to live with. “When I see you on the other side, I will be sure to let you know…”
Clara watched the scene play out in a state of disbelief.
The world seemed to slow down as she looked from Alaric, the gun, and Lord Wolfe. Any second now, the gun would fire, he would die, and then… And then what?
She could not let her husband become a murderer. She could not find safety while Lord Wolf still lived. But through the contradiction, there was one truth that she found and then focused on, letting it guide her through this moment.
None of this would be happening if Alaric did not care for her.
That was what mattered most. He had come here to rescue her.
He was willing to shoot his uncle dead to keep her safe.
He was willing to risk everything for their marriage and their future.
He does care for me. Despite it all, what I have been told, what I may or may not know, that is the truth, and this right here proves it.
And when she realized this truth, when she accepted it, and when she understood that she felt the same, she knew what she had to do.
“Wait!” she cried out. “Alaric, wait.”
Alaric did not lower the gun, but he looked to her, brow furrowed. “What… wait for what?”
“Don’t do it…” She started carefully toward him, one hand reaching out and resting on his gun arm. “He is not worth it.”
“He was going to kill you, Clara.”
“I know.”
“He still might.”
“Maybe…” Gently, she pushed his arm down, and he let her.
“I do not know all of what happened with your wife or your father. But I do know that you are no killer, Alaric. You might think you are. You might believe it as much as you believe anything. But you are not a killer any more than you are a monster.”
“I… am…”
“No…” She smiled for him, forcing him to look at her.
“That is one thing I can say for certain. If you do this, then I am a liar. If you do this, then you are not the man who… who…” She hesitated, the words catching on her tongue.
Say it. You need to say it… “If you do kill him, if you prove your uncle correct, then you are not the man whom I love,” she said gently, her smile remaining on her lips.
“And I do love you, Alaric. Just as I know you love me.”
She held her breath in wait. Her heart thudded so loudly she could hear it. Her body was shaking as if it might explode. And as she waited, she searched her husband’s eyes for the truth… the battle he was willing to lose to give in to his true self.
His stare was fixed on Lord Wolfe. Hardened. Deadly. The desire there to see him dead and be done with it. But slowly, it softened, his arm relaxed entirely, and he looked away with disgust.
“Go,” he said to his uncle. “Leave before I change my mind.”
Lord Wolfe stammered. “I… I can leave?”
“Go!” Alaric roared.
Lord Wolfe jumped on the spot, cried out, and then scampered from the forest as if his buttocks had caught fire.
Clara beamed; one hand on the duke’s arm, the other around his shoulder. “You did the right thing, Alaric. The only thing.”
“I wanted him dead,” he said softly, looking down at his feet as if in shame. “When I saw him about to shoot you… I wanted to kill him.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I would have, if not for you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I…” Alaric shook his head, taking deep breaths that sounded painful. “I am not the person you think I am, Clara. My uncle is right about me. I am dangerous and you…. You would do better to leave here before it is too late.”
“Alaric…” Her heart broke for him. Even after all he had done for her, he still believed the worst of himself. And where she knew now that he loved her, she also knew that love was fighting against his desire to protect her. “I know you do not want that.”
“It is not about what I want. It is about what you deserve.”
“And what is that?”
“Safety…” He snapped his head up, finally, and looked at her. Pain was written large behind his eyes. Fear. Worry. Shame so deep that it seemed to cut. “I want you to be safe. That is all I have ever wanted.”
“And why can I not be safe with you?”
He grimaced. “You know why.”
“No, actually, I do not.” I cannot believe that he killed his wife and his father. There has to be more to that story. I need there to be more. “What I do know is vague and unfinished. Come from the lips of a man who very nearly killed me.”
He scoffed. “In this, my uncle was not lying.”
“Tell me…” She still held him, and she stepped in close, pressing her body to him so he would know she was not afraid. “Tell me what really happened and then – only then, I will decide what is best for me.”
Alaric sniffed as he looked at her still. “You… want to know the truth?”
“I think I deserve it.”
He nodded. “Yes. I will… I will tell you everything.”