Chapter 8 #2
He had meant it to sound like a question, but it came out more like a statement. She did not seem offended by it, if anything, it was the opposite. At his observation, he saw some of the tension leave her face, her shoulders relaxing slightly.
“A little.” He only just managed to keep his surprise at her admission from her face.
How can she be so candid with her emotions?
His brow furrowed. “Why?”
“I do not really like being the center of attention. I know that we have only invited our friends and family, but well… I am used to fading into the background.” She fingered the delicate necklace around her neck absently.
“You should not be.” His voice came out harder than he had intended.
Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
I do not understand how someone who looks like you could be anything but the focus of any room she was in.
He knew better than to say such a thing out loud.
She is here for Phoebe, and I do not need a distraction – no matter how pretty she is.
“You are a duchess now. The ton will be paying close attention to you and the way you comport yourself. What you do is a reflection of the estate.”
“I know.” Her eyes hardened, and he saw the fingers of her right hand dig into the fabric of her dress. “I will not embarrass you, you need not worry about that. I am perfectly capable of handling myself in public.”
“I am not worried.” Theodore shrugged, watching as Harriet appeared to try and get her anger under control. “If I thought you would do such a thing, I would not have asked you to marry me.”
“Even if it had meant not supporting Phoebe? You seemed rather de-determined,” from her pause Theodore has a suspicion that Harriet had been about to say ‘desperate’ but he did not object. “to support her.”
“It is my duty to provide for her. To ensure she has a good future, that she is looked after and cared for.” The smell of sweet rot threatened to overwhelm him, and he pushed it away, digging his nails into the palms of his hands.
“Any woman who would bring my reputation into disrepute or cause embarrassment at such a scale is a liability that I could not tolerate, regardless of any sentiment between the woman and my niece. It would put her and the estate in danger.”
“And what if I did such a thing? What then?” She folded her arms across her chest.
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you planning to?”
“No. But how can you be sure I would not? When you are a woman, the rules are different. I may not mean to, but the ton could decide that my behavior was unacceptable and…” For a moment, memory overwhelmed the image of Harriet’s calm face.
Blue eyes, not green, gaunt and yellowing skin stretched over stark cheekbones…
No.
He swallowed hard and turned away, his voice clipped as he said, “I am all too aware of the fickle nature of the ton, especially when it comes to those of your sex. You do not strike me as a fool, Harriet. I suspect you are well acquainted with the sorts of things that will make those fiends scent blood in the air. More importantly, you know how to avoid them.”
“That is rather a lot of trust to put in someone you hardly know. I am unsure what I have done to deserve it.” Harriet’s tone was mild, but he did not turn to face her.
Trust.
The word echoed in his head. He felt like someone was pressing down on his chest. His skin tingled and he swallowed. Why do I trust you?
Her sketches. That was too emotional of an answer and he needed to be rational. That was more difficult than he liked to admit, and he leaned back, massaging his jaw as he tried to school his thoughts. “You did not immediately accept my proposal.”
“I thought men did not like being rejected?” She arched an eyebrow, the barest hint of a smile curving across her lips.
He felt his own mouth twitch but held it in check.
“I prefer to think of it as a negotiation, not a rejection. You took your time, you did not rush into accepting me. This told me two things: the first is that you are cautious which is a quality I prize highly. The second is that you do not court power and status for their own sake – such a woman would have had no qualms accepting my offer on the spot.”
An emotion flitted across her face too quickly for Theodore to name.
“This assessment was further confirmed when I received the invoices for your bridal wardrobe. Though you had not shied away from clothes appropriate to your station, you were hardly frivolous or extravagant. I suspect you would have ordered far less had I not given the modiste explicit instructions on the minimum number of outfits required.” He saw her eyes flash, lips pursing in irritation, and continued, “which is why I gave her such instructions. You seem like the sort of woman who will make do with what she has, and that may suit the daughter of an earl. It will not suffice for my Duchess.”
He saw a shiver run through her and his own heart quickened. I trust you. The words echoed around his head, making every hair on his body stand on end. But he could not say them aloud.
He massaged his chest. He felt as though there was an invisible rope tightening around him and Harriet. He saw her watching him, studying him as though he was a puzzle that she was determined to unlock.
“You have said many kind things about me…” She paused as though weighing up her next words. “But you have not answered my question. What happens to me if I do not meet your expectations?”
Theodore closed his eyes, using the moment as a brief respite. When he opened them, her face was pale and he knew she knew what his answer would be.
“Do not disappoint me.” His words cut through the air between them like an arrow finding its target.
He could not tell if it was a warning, an order or a plea.