Chapter 9
“He cannot take his eyes off you.” Louisa nodded—far less subtly than Harriet would have liked—towards Theodore.
Harriet felt her stomach tie itself into several complicated knots and forced herself not to look in his direction. Not that she needed to look at her husband to feel the truth of Louisa’s words.
The gooseflesh that covered her body was proof enough. The nape of her neck prickled; his gaze like a hand against her skin. She swallowed as she tried to draw Louisa’s attention away from Theodore and back to her, nearly upsetting the glass of champagne in her hand as she did.
She felt the sun on her skin, ticking away time more insistently than a grandfather clock. “I suspect that is because he wishes to be on his way.”
“If that were the case, he would have come to collect you by now.” Fiona shook her head. “He does not strike me as the sort of man who will bow to another’s schedule.”
“Thus far the day has been run with almost military precision.” Louisa agreed. “Though far more enjoyable than most military affairs.”
“More enjoyable still if you extended the celebration. You and the Duke would make a rather dashing sight on the dance floor.” Fiona folded her arms as she surveyed Harriet and Theodore.
Harriet tried not to imagine what it would feel like dancing with Theodore. He moved with graceful precision, yet she could not picture his imposing form on the dancefloor. She remembered the feeling of his fingers against her skin as he had slid her wedding band onto her finger.
It sent a rush of warmth through her body and she absently ran her thumb across the gold ring. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She glanced over her shoulder, their eyes met and she hastily looked away.
“He would probably be rather stiff. He is handsome, but the man is rigid as an oak.” Louisa added, and Harriet frowned, an odd sense of irritation seeping into her.
“I suspect he would be a rather graceful dancer. His movements are precise, calculated.” Harriet glanced towards Theodore who was now in conversation with his friend, Percival Kingman, the Duke of Wright.
“Well, there is only one way to find out.” Fiona gave Harriet a playful nudge. “You could always ask him for a dance.”
“Fi!” Catherine’s reprimand was half amused and half exasperated as Harriet choked on her champagne.
“You know that is not our arrangement.” Harriet spluttered her ears burning so brightly she was sure everyone would be able to see it. “More to the point, I have no wish to test his patience. He means to leave at noon, we have a long carriage ride ahead.”
“I still cannot believe you will not stop for the night.” Louisa shook her head. “I know he has hired guards for it, but honestly, why not get an inn and break up the journey?”
“Phoebe.” Harriet did not add that she was not sure if she was disappointed or relieved that they would avoid the intimacy of an overnight stay in an inn. “He wants to get home to her.”
“And what about what you want?” Louisa asked. “You are his duchess, Hettie, not his governess and he should remember that.”
“He did not choose me, his niece did.” Harriet pointed out. Do not disappoint me.
Theodore’s words filled her mind. She pictured his face, the hard set of his jaw, the way his eyes had darkened. For the merest second, she had thought she had seen something softer, more urgent beneath his cool, pragmatism, but she knew she was mistaken.
“This is only a means to an end, for both of us.” Harriet shrugged.
“Well, be that as it may, if he treats you like anything less than the fabulous woman you are, he will have us to answer to.” Louisa growled.
“I will be fine, I am sure.” Harriet tried to give them all a reassuring smile, but it was difficult to do when she feared she might lose her breakfast at any moment. “I do not think I have anything to fear from Th- the Duke.”
She decided not to use Theodore’s Christian name with her friends. She knew they would read more into it than necessary and she did not want to get their hopes up. It is not a matter of intimacy, but of practicality.
Though if she was honest, a part of her had been surprised that he had agreed to her request. Harriet. The way he said her name was so at odds with so much about him. She realized that she was playing with her wedding ring again.
“Just be careful. I will admit, I had not appreciated how handsome the Duke was and though he has been generous… You have a kind heart, Hettie, and I do not want to see it taken advantage of.” Louisa’s voice tugged Harriet back to the present.
“I am not particularly worried about my heart, it is not that sort of arrangement.” Harriet fought to keep the sinking of her heart from her voice. “Which suits me perfectly, you know such things have never been particularly high on my list of priorities.”
“At the very least, he seems to respect me.” Harriet thought of the way he had looked at her in the church, of how he had managed to guess at her reason for wanting to embroider her dress. “He may not be the most effusive, but he is observant without judgement.”
You are nervous. She swallowed as she remembered him simply stating it as though he were discussing the weather. “Few women can claim that, even in a love match.”
“Catherine can.” Louisa pointed out. “And his respect is the very least he can give you.”
“He has been more than generous with me.” Harriet was not sure why she was defending Theodore. He certainly does not need my protection.
Louisa pursed her lips. “Just do not forget what you are worth.”
How much could I be worth? Harriet kept the thought to herself. “I will.”
“Good.” Louisa nodded.
Behind them, one of the horses by the carriage let out a shriek and Harriet gave a start. She whipped around and saw one of the horses that had been waiting patiently for them to depart rearing, which in turn was upsetting the others nearby.
“Where is the driver?” Harriet cursed and took a step towards the horses.
Before she could go further, Theodore appeared. The horse reared again, along with its companion. “Be careful!” Harriet’s heart thundered against her chest, panic filling her. He is going to get himself killed.
Theodore held up his hands, catching the reins of the horses deftly as several men shouted behind him. She could tell he was murmuring to the creature, too quietly to be heard over all of the commotion.
She watched as Theodore held up a hand signaling to the rushing crowd to hold their ground, never taking his eyes from the startled horses. The horses were still agitated, but all hooves were on the ground.
Harriet held her breath as Theodore continued his slow, soothing of the horses. He ran a strong hand across the horse’s neck. The creature settled, as did its companion.
“Wow.” Fiona breathed behind Harriet. “That was quite something.”
Harriet licked her lips, watching as Theodore signaled for the men to approach slowly, still stroking and calming the horse. She massaged her chest, wishing her heart would slow just a little.
She could see Theodore speaking to the driver. From the way Theodore’s muscles tensed and the driver hung his head. Harriet could tell he was getting a dressing down.
“It is lucky your husband is so good with horses.” Catherine nodded towards the scene. “Someone could have been hurt.”
“Indeed.” Harriet cleared her throat. “I suppose they are itching to go, they have been very patient until now.”
“Then it is time for us to say goodbye.” Fiona drew Harriet into a hug. “You look after yourself.”
“I will.” Harriet smiled at her. “And try not to cause too much trouble in my absence.”
Fiona laughed as Louisa grinned. “Do not worry, Hettie. I will make sure she is not too ridiculous.”
Harriet felt her affection for her friends wash over her, filling her chest with warmth even as it sent a pang of pain through her. When will I see you all again? “I promise, I will write as often as I can. Though I suspect I will have rather a lot to do.”
Catherine gave Harriet a solemn look. “It will take you some time to find your feet, but I am sure you will manage it.”
“I wish I shared your confidence.” Harriet swallowed as she took in Catherine’s thoughtful expression. “I feel rather out of my depth.”
“Phoebe saw something in you, Hettie. Just as the rest of us do.” Catherine pulled her into a hug and whispered. “You have so much to offer them both, trust your heart. It will all work out.”
“But what if I am no good at any of this?” Harriet whispered back, voicing the fear that had been gnawing at her. “What if this is all a terrible mistake?”
“If I have learned anything from my experience with Alaric, it is that none of us really knows what we are doing. The best we can hope for is to do our best and learn from our mistakes.” Catherine squeezed her tightly and then released her.
“And you will have me to lean on. I know a thing or two about being a duchess, and raising children who are not my blood.”
But I am not you. Harriet nodded, and something of her thoughts must have shown on her face for Catherine added. “It is a big responsibility, but your shoulders are strong enough to bear it. You are clever and kind.”
Harriet swallowed and turned, and found herself staring up at Theodore.
His blue eyes blazed in the morning light, and in his efforts with the horses, his hair had been mussed.
She realized she had been reaching towards a stray lock on his forehead and hastily moved her hand to her own neck instead.
“I wanted to make sure you were all right.” Theodore’s tone made it clear he was addressing everyone, but he did not take his eyes from Harriet.
“Yes,” Harriet replied.
“Good.” Theodore adjusted the lapels of his jacket and gestured to the carriage behind them. “Then we shall take our leave of you, Duchess, Lady Fiona, Lady Louisa.”
“Good travels, Your Grace.” Catherine and Harriet’s other friends curtseyed.
Harriet glanced at them once more, wanting to hold the image of them in their finest, eyes brimming with happy tears and smiles on their faces. Then she fell into step beside Theodore as they made their way towards the carriage.
“I have spoken to the driver and made my displeasure clear. The horses should not have been left unattended, even for a moment,” Theodore said as they walked, his eyes narrowing as he looked at waiting carriage.
“Thankfully, I always arrange two drivers, lest something happen to the first. Though it will mean stopping earlier than I had planned.”
“At least no one was hurt.” Harriet saw the tension in Theodore’s jaw, his anger palpable – she remembered the way he had strode towards the horses and the fear she had felt. “For a moment… I … It is good that you are as strong as you look.”
The corner of Theodore’s lip twitched and he glanced at her, one eyebrow slightly raised. “You were concerned for me?”
“I would be worried about anyone in that situation. I have seen stablehands badly hurt trying to calm a spooked horse.” Harriet caught sight of an expression she could not quite name on Theodore’s face. Disappointment? But that made no sense.
“It was a risk, but better I suffer a minor injury than anyone else come to serious harm.” Theodore shrugged.
“I had not expected you to be so good with horses.” The image of Theodore gently stroking the creatures was so at odds with the cool, practical man standing in front of her, and yet she could not keep it from her mind.
Which one is the real man? “I mean, I know men of your station are often skilled riders, but that does not necessarily mean they know how to calm their mounts.”
“Some men see their horses as little more than a clockwork engine, they do not see them as living creatures. They do not respect them, only use them.” She saw his jaw tense and then relax just for a moment.
“Short sighted and foolish. The best riders are the ones who understand their horses. You are far less likely to be thrown if you can calm your horse, and you can only do such a thing if you take the time to learn about them. If you see them as worthy.”
Harriet felt something stir deep inside of her as she watched Theodore’s face. It slipped for a second, disdain clear as day, but a moment later, it was gone. She tilted her head, as he massaged his jaw, a softness in the motion that reminded her of grass rustling in an autumn breeze.
He continued. “Besides, I have always found horses rather more straightforward than people. Once you understand them, they are easy enough to read.”
“I feel much the same. There is something rather soothing about them.” Harriet fingered the necklace around her neck absently. “Though, I try my best to be respectful of them as well.”
“A sensible approach.” Theodore flicked his fingers towards the groom who rushed to open the carriage door.
Harriet could not help but glance back at her friends who began to wave encouragingly at her. Her shoulders eased, even as her stomach burbled a warning grumble.
“You will miss them.” Theodore had clearly been watching her.
“I will.” Harriet turned back to face him. “They are more like sisters to me.”
He was watching her with that same look that made her feel as though she was a book he was idly thumbing through. She managed to meet his gaze without backing away. “Thank you.”
Theodore arched an eyebrow, his lips thinning ever so slightly and Harriet added, “I know you were eager to begin our journey, it means a lot that you did not rush me or hurry me.”
Theodore’s lip twitched, but Harriet did not know what it meant. She saw his fingers slip from the horse beside them, his blue eyes unfocused and distant as though he were looking at something Harriet could not see. “Goodbyes are important.”
Theodore shook himself, his eyes sharpening and Harriet could almost hear the sound of a lock slamming into place.
Cold tugged at her chest as Theodore shrugged.
“It will be some time before you see your friends again. You will need to settle into your new role and Phoebe is not accustomed to guests.”
“I know.” Harriet felt the invisible band around her chest tighten and took in a deep breath, hoping it would ease it somewhat. “And the journey to Irondale Hall is not a particularly short one.”
“It is not.” Theodore ran a hand through his hair and Harriet found herself watching the way his muscles rippled beneath the fabric of his coat. “And it is high time we were on our way.”
He gestured for Harriet to step into the carriage and she did. Her foot shook as she stepped up and she felt a hand at the small of her back.
Her breath caught as Theodore steadied her. Warmth spreading from his palm through the rest of her body. Her head swam as every inch of her skin erupted into gooseflesh.
A moment later his hand was gone, and she was sliding onto the seat. The carriage door swung shut. Harriet put a hand on her chest and looked out of the window, watching her friends and the life she had known disappear around the corner.