Chapter 7 #2
Rowen gave the apprentice an apologetic smile and called back, “I will be with you in a moment.”
She moved in the direction of her children, but could not resist stealing one last glance at the lavender dress. It was the sort of dress that cost more than most people earned in a year. But that would not be a problem for her.
“Not with the Duke’s money.” She chewed on her lip, the memory of his green eyes filling her mind.
“I want everyone to see just how ravishing my bride is.”
“A dress like that would certainly hold his gaze. Not that I want to hold it.” She nodded to herself. “And he would be insufferable. He would probably think I bought it just to draw his attention, and I cannot abide that.”
The thought of Tobias hardened her heart. He may have wanted her to look like a duchess, but she would be damned if she would give him the satisfaction of thinking he had won.
He is the reason I will not buy that dress.
The thought sat uneasily in her gut. But before she could ponder it further, her children had appeared, and she let herself get caught up in their excitement.
“Look how many people are in there!” Georgia’s voice was full of awe and excitement as she peered through the large wooden doors of the church. “There are even people standing!”
It was the day of the wedding, and Rowen clutched the simple sky-blue gown she was wearing. It was cut in the French style, with short sleeves and blue silk gloves to match. Her hair was pinned in an elegant bun, and she the pearl necklace about her caught the sunlight.
“I will go and get her,” Adele murmured as she moved towards Georgia. “You stay put.”
Rowen nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She felt like a vice was clamped around her chest, tightening with each passing moment. Beside her, Verity gently squeezed her hand, rubbing a hand across her back soothingly. Cora was on her other side, leaning on her walking stick.
“Perhaps I should have worn a veil.” Rowen’s mouth was dry, her heart hammering in her chest. “At least then I could have hidden my face from everyone.”
“And why would you want to hide such a beautiful face?” Cora gave her a kind smile.
“So that I would not have to be looked at. I must look ridiculous. All this pomp and circumstance, and it is not even my first marriage!” Rowen shook her head.
“Well, things are a little different this time,” Verity pointed out. “And at least you are going in with your eyes wide open.”
“Am I?” Rowen countered, taking in the church. “I thought I was last time, and look how well that turned out.”
“The Duke is not the Earl.” Cora gently placed a hand on her arm. “And you are not the same girl you were back then.”
“No, just a woman about to marry a near stranger with no assurance that he will do what he promised. Oh God, what was I thinking? He did not even let me choose the venue or the date! We are not even married, and we are constantly at one another’s throats.”
“You are doing what you can to protect your son’s estate,” Cora reminded her. “And unlike last time, you will have us on your side.”
“If the Duke reneges on his promise, he will have us to deal with,” Verity added fiercely.
The church bells began to ring, and Georgia raced over to them, with Adele hot on her heels.
“Alistair is standing with Uncle Warner, and everyone is looking at them, and Ali is being so brave, and he is standing so straight, and the Duke is really tall, and the priest is really short, and—” Georgia was cut off by the sound of the church bells.
“It is time.” Adele canted her head, the unspoken question clear on her face: Do you need a few minutes?
Rowen swallowed and shook her head. “Let’s go in.”
The others moved in front of her, Georgia skipping up the steps at the head of the procession, a basket full of flower petals in her hand.
With each step Rowen took, a heavy weight settled on her shoulders. The invisible hand around her chest tightened. She tried to remind herself that this was her only option, that this time was different.
The doors to the church swung open as she reached the top of the stairs. A wall of sound hit her, and every pair of eyes swiveled to her. Each stare felt like a physical touch.
Her eyes drifted across the space, and the smell of incense and sandalwood hit her. Her heart stopped, and she stumbled, the bouquet nearly falling from her numb hands.
“Look at her—the Duke is already spoiling her!” a voice whispered.
“She is set for a life of luxury; that’s for sure,” added another.
“She will want for nothing,” another whispered.
Their whispers sounded like angry bees.
Rowen’s heart sped up. She knew she needed to step forward, to cross the threshold into the church, but her feet were rooted to the spot. She could hear the murmurs as the smell of sandalwood grew stronger.
“Rowen?” Adele was reaching for her, eyes wide with concern.
Rowen opened her mouth to reassure her friend. She had to be strong. She had to do this for her children. She took a step forward, the sound echoing through the aisle. The same sound that had echoed on her first wedding.
Panic rose in her chest as the full weight of what she was doing hit her. She was giving up her freedom, gambling not just her future but that of her children on marrying a near stranger?
The smell of sandalwood was overwhelming now. She had been here once before. She knew how this would end.
“I have been a fool.” Rowen stumbled backward as the angry buzzing grew louder. “I cannot do this.”
She turned on her heel and sprinted down the stairs, away from the church.