Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
“It is not as though you have not done this before,” Rowen murmured to herself as she crept down the secret passage.
A cold rush of air sent a shiver through her, and gooseflesh covered her body. She tugged her dressing gown around her.
On any other night, she would have chosen more practical nightclothes, ones that offered her some warmth, but tonight was not a normal night.
The thought of her plan gave her pause. Her heart sped up, and she stumbled, catching herself on the wall. She swore softly.
She glanced over her shoulder and then back towards the door at the end of the passage.
She could change her mind. It was not too late. She could simply go back the way she had come, and no one would be the wiser.
“After all, there is every chance that this endeavor is simply an opportunity to make a fool of myself.” Rowen clenched her fist.
She looked back in the direction she had come, but she could not make her feet move towards it. She thought of everything that had happened, all the things that had changed over the past few days.
“I have to know for certain.” She swallowed. “And I am tired of hiding from this. One way or another, I will have an answer tonight.” She rolled her shoulders back and moved forward. “Besides, he might not even be awake.”
She was not sure if the thought was comforting or disappointing. She suspected it was a little of both.
The door loomed ahead of her. Was that a faint flicker of light?
Her fist shook as she held it up.
There is no going back after this.
The thought dredged up a memory, and she heard Tobias’s voice in her head.
“You would not be the first woman to change her mind.”
Her chest squeezed.
“I will never hear the end of this,” she muttered.
But I do not care.
She knocked on the door.
She could barely hear over the thundering of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears. She raised her hand again, ready to knock a little harder.
The door swung open. Tobias stood before her in only his britches. His eyes widened when he saw her, and her mouth went dry.
“Rowen?” His voice was hoarse. “Is that you?”
“Were you expecting someone else?”
She had meant it to sound teasing, but the thundering of her heart and the catch in her breath made it come out breathless.
“I was not expecting anyone at this hour.” He cocked his head and crossed his arms over his bare chest.
“Did I wake you?” Rowen forced herself to look away from his muscular torso.
He shook his head. “You are not the only one whom sleep seems to have eluded tonight.”
His smile tugged at her heart, and she realized that she had been twirling the tie of her dressing gown between her fingers.
Get a hold of yourself, Rowen.
“So what is it that brings you to my door?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Has something happened?” He moved towards her, his eyes going wide. “If something has happened, tell me and I will see that it is put right at once.”
“Nothing is the matter.” Rowen shook her head, shivering as another rush of cold air brushed against her.
“You are shivering. Are you unwell?” He rubbed his hands against her arms, and she was grateful that in the dim light of the passage, he could not see the flush on her cheeks. “I can send for a physician.”
“That will not be necessary. Really, I am just a little cold.” It was part of the truth, if not the whole truth.
“Come in, warm yourself by the fire. I will throw a few more logs in.” He gestured to the chaise beside the hearth.
“Thank you.” She stepped inside, forcing herself not to look at the rumpled covers on his bed.
Tobias’s back was turned towards her, and he was throwing logs into the fire. It roared, filling the room with warmth and light. It did nothing to stop her shivering.
When Tobias turned back to face her, he arched an eyebrow and gave her a half smile. “You need not linger by the door; I do not bite. Besides, you will let all the cold air in, and that will not help matters.”
Rowen moved towards the fire and hesitated as she drew closer to the chaise. Tobias shut the door and plopped down into an armchair.
“You might as well make yourself comfortable. Sit down; I promise I will be on my best behavior.” He gestured to the chaise and grinned at her. “I will be a perfect gentleman.”
Rowen laughed and took a step towards him, her fingers curling around the tie of her dressing gown. “You and I both know you are no gentleman.”
Now, for the moment of truth.
“Besides, I do not want you to be on your best behavior.”
“Oh?” Tobias arched an eyebrow at her.
She nodded and undid the tie of her dressing gown, letting it fall from her shoulders and pool around her feet. The smile vanished from Tobias’s face, and his jaw dropped.
His green eyes darkened as he drank her in. She was wearing a shift that was made of such a fine muslin that it was nearly see-through. The thin fabric clung to her body, doing little to shield her from the cold and even less to hide her from his eyes.
Which was exactly what she wanted.
She felt his gaze like a physical touch. He stood up but did not come closer. He swallowed, and she felt a thrill run through her.
“You will be the death of me.” His voice was little more than a strangled whisper.
“That is the last thing I wish to do.” Rowen stepped towards him.
He did not step away. He shook his head, blinking slowly as though he could not wrap his head around what was happening.
A thrill ran through Rowen, and she put a hand on his bare chest, her finger tracing the thin scar that ran across it.
His muscles tensed at her touch, the warmth of his skin seeping into her. She looked up at him, her fingers moving from the scars across his torso to the one on his neck.
“Rowen…” He swallowed. “What are you doing here?”
“Is it not obvious?” Her eyes met his. “I changed my mind.”
“What do you—”
Rowen cut him off with a kiss.
As soon as their lips touched, all doubt faded. Fire spread through her veins, and she lost herself in his embrace. She could not tell where he began and she ended, and she did not want to.
Tobias broke away from her, his breathing ragged. “If we keep doing this, I will not be able to stop.”
“Then it is a good thing I do not want you to stop.” Rowen folded her arms across her chest.
“I am serious, Rowen,” Tobias gritted out.
“So am I.” Rowen let out a frustrated sigh. “I do not know how much plainer I can be. I want you, Tobias. I want this.”
“You do not know what you are asking.” Tobias clenched his fists.
“Do I seem like a woman who does not know her own mind?” Rowen shook her head. “If you do not want me, then say it. I will leave, and we can pretend this whole thing never happened. Tell me you do not want what I want, and we will put this to bed.”
“I cannot do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want you, Rowen. Is that what you want to hear?” Tobias growled. “I can scarcely get through the day without thinking of you. Whenever I am near you, I yearn to be closer to you, to hold you, to touch you.”
“Then why do you hesitate?” Rowen traced her fingers along his scar once more. “I want you, you want me, and we do not even have to worry about a scandal, since we are married.”
His shaky breath tickled her skin. “But if we do this… there will be no going back.”
“I know.” She reached up and touched his face.
“But I also know that I want whatever comes next. I want a life with you, Tobias. I am tired of waiting. I do not wish to hide from this, from whatever this is. These last few months have been nothing like I expected. You are nothing like I thought. And I…” She met his fiery gaze with her own.
“Take me to bed, Tobias. Make me yours.”
With a growl, he closed the last few inches between them and pressed his lips against hers with a hunger that drove everything else from her mind. The scent of cedar and pine washed over her. Her skin was on fire, every inch of her craving more of him.
He lifted her into his arms, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, unwilling to break their kiss even for a moment. His muscles were hard against her. Every kiss staked his claim, and she was more than willing to submit.
She was falling—no, he was lowering her onto the bed. She could see the outline of his body above her, quivering in the moonlight.
The sound of their heartbeats seemed to fill the air between them. Her breath caught as she felt his fingers on her skin, his tongue slipping between his lips.
Suddenly, a loud knock sounded at the door.
“Is someone knocking?” Rowen twisted, but Tobias caught her chin with his hand and turned her back to face him, kissing her so fiercely it drove the thought out of her mind.
The knock came again, more insistent this time.
Rowen’s head spun, intoxicated by Tobias’s scent.
“Shouldn’t you answer it?”
“They can wait,” he growled, claiming her mouth with his own.
“Your Grace? Your Grace?” It was Mr. Turner’s voice. “Forgive the lateness of the hour, but there is a visitor.”
“A visitor?” Rowen breathed.
Tobias looked up. “Tell them to come back at a civilized hour.” His voice was rough as he traced a finger along her torso in a way that made her heart skip several beats. “I am busy.”
“But Your Grace—” Mr Turned began, and Rowen thought she could hear a tinge of panic in his voice.
“I do not care if the King himself has come to call,” Tobias snapped. “Whoever has come to visit can come back another day.”
“Your Grace, it is about the Marquess of Ewelme.” Mr. Turner’s voice was muffled.
Rowen’s brow furrowed, and she propped herself on her elbows.
Above her, Tobias froze. “What about him?”
“Lord Ewelme is in the study, Your Grace.” Mr. Tanner’s voice sounded far away. “He is alive.”
Rowen clapped a hand over her mouth. Her brother was not dead. Her brother was at her house. She looked at Tobias. His face was a mask of frustration and confusion.
“But I thought…” she trailed off. “How can this be?”
Tobias was instantly on his feet. “I am not sure, but I mean to find out.” Then, he called out, “Tell the Marquess I will be down in a minute.”
“Of course, Your Grace.”
Rowen heard Mr. Tanner’s footsteps disappear down the hallway.
“I am going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.” Tobias clenched his fists. “I swear it.”
“I should change.” Rowen slid off the bed and retrieved her dressing gown from the floor.
James is alive?
Tobias nodded but did not look at her. He was tugging on loose shirt and a dressing gown. His hair was mussed, and Rowen reached up to smooth her own.
“Do you think it’s really him?” she asked.
“I do not know.” Tobias moved towards the door. “I cannot imagine someone pretending to be him.”
“If it is him, what does that mean for…?” Rowen bit her lip, unable to finish her question.
What does that mean for us?
Tobias was still not looking at her. Despite the fire, his face was cast in shadow. She wished he would look at her. She touched fingers to her lips; she could still feel him.
“I do not know,” he repeated. “But there is only one way to find out.”
He pulled the door open and stepped out, leaving her alone in his room. She turned and made her way back to her own rooms.
The night was not turning out the way she had hoped.