Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
“This cannot be happening.” Tobias ran a hand through his hair as he strode towards his study.
How could James be alive? And what was he doing in his study? Was this some kind of sick joke? Was it perhaps an imposter?
But Mr. Tanner would know if that was the case.
Tobias thought of the moments before his butler had knocked on his bedroom door. The scent of violets filled his senses, and he touched a hand to his lips. He could still taste Rowen, still feel her against him.
No, do not think of that now.
James was alive. That was the important thing.
Tobias swallowed and pushed open the door to his study.
The fire blazed in the hearth, and a man stood warming his hands by it.
He was tall, dressed in commoners’ clothes that had seen better days.
His hair was long and disheveled, and he sported a beard.
His face was gaunt, as though he had lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time.
“Jenkins?” Tobias took a step towards him.
The man turned to face him. His skin was sun-kissed, and he was thinner than Tobias had ever seen him. But his eyes, so like his sister’s, were as lively as ever.
James Jenkins, the Marquess of Ewelme, stood before him.
“You are alive,” Tobias breathed. “It really is you.”
“Of course it is!” James strode towards him, clapped him on the shoulder, and then pulled him into a hug. “It is so good to see you, old chap.”
“And you,” Tobias returned.
He is alive. He is here.
James pulled back, and Tobias noticed several scars that ran across his friend’s neck and hands.Though his smile was broad, there was a frailness about him.
“I hope you do not mind me waking you at such an ungodly hour, but I’ve had a devil of a time getting here, and well…
there is no way the gentlemen’s club will let me in looking like this.
” James gestured to his clothes and beard.
“And I was in rather desperate need of a drink. And after the few months I have had, I just wanted to see a friendly face.”
“Where have you been?” Tobias shook his head, blinking slowly. He was half convinced that James would vanish at any moment.
“Now, that is a tale, and I will gladly tell it. But first, let us toast to my good health. Or rather, my not being dead.” James coughed as he handed him a glass. “Though of course, it was a close call. I am truly sorry for all the trouble it has caused. I hope you have not been too—”
“James!” Rowen’s voice sounded from behind them, and Tobias turned around in time to see her hurtle into the room and throw her arms around her brother. “You are alive.”
Tobias stepped away from them, not wanting to interrupt the moment.
Rowen wore a thick dressing gown, and from what he glimpsed as it shifted, she had changed into more modest nightclothes.
He swallowed and looked away, his eyes flicking to Eric’s portrait. Something squirmed in his chest.
“Rowen?” James’s voice drew his attention. “What the devil are you doing here?”
“I live here.” Rowen stepped away from her brother.
“What?” James’s jaw dropped. “But what about Irving Manor?”
“It is being repaired. A tree crashed through the roof, and the repairs have been rather extensive.” Rowen poured herself a glass of whiskey.
James furrowed his brow. “So you moved in with Rothwell?”
“That does tend to happen when one gets married, yes.” Rowen arched an eyebrow at him.
“You are married? To my sister?” James gaped at Tobias. “Good Lord. I thought it was a silly rumor, but it is true.”
“You asked me to look after her should anything happen to you.” Tobias did not look at Rowen. “We thought you were dead.”
“I did not think you would marry her.” James shook his head in disbelief.
“And what did you think he would do?” Rowen eyed her brother narrowly.
James shrugged. “I suppose I had not really given it much thought.”
“Typical.” Rowen threw her hands up in the air. “You never think anything through.”
James took a step back. “I wanted to make sure you were taken care of, and it seems like that is what has happened. So really, it has all worked out.”
Rowen’s nostrils flared. “James, we all thought you were dead, and now you have the gall to pretend like all is merry. None of us has heard anything about you. We have not received any letter—nothing. You turned my life, my children’s lives, all of our lives upside down, and then you have the gall to be glib about it? ”
“Rowen…” Tobias moved towards her, but she shook her head.
“No, he does not get to smile his way out of this. You called in so many favors trying to find him. You have worked tirelessly to find out what happened, and now we learn that he is not even dead!” Rowen shook her head.
“I cannot tell if I am relieved to see you or if I want to kill you. Where have you been?”
“Falmouth.” James coughed and sank onto an armchair. “And I know that this has been rather a lot for all of you, but it has not been easy for me either.”
“I think you should tell us the full story, Jenkins. Ro—Your sister is right to be upset.” Tobias gestured for them all to take a seat, sipping his whiskey as he did. “I have received no reports of any aristocrat being washed ashore nor of one being under any kind of care.”
He had taken great pains to describe the clothes he knew James preferred to wear, and to give the men a general description of his friend.
Though that was before he bore these scars, and who knows what kind of state he was in when he was washed ashore?
He should have been more thorough.
He had let himself get distracted.
James tugged on his collar. “Ah, well, you would not have received such reports. You see, the night the ship went down, I was dressed as a commoner. We were planning to go ashore, and well, things tend to be a little more enjoyable in seaside towns when they think you are one of them. So I convinced one of the crew to lend me his clothes.”
“I see,” Tobias said.
“As we neared the Cornish coast, the storm kicked up—you know how treacherous those waters can be. We struck rocks, and the boat started to sink.” James took a sip of his whiskey, and Tobias noticed the way his hands shook.
“I do not remember much of that night. I thought I was going to die. The water was so cold. Men were screaming.”
He let out a shaky breath. “They found me clinging to some driftwood and brought me into one of the locals’ homes.
I was delirious. In and out of fever.” A shadow crossed his face.
“I do not know what was real and what was false. I scarcely knew my own name. Fever wracked my body, and I grew weaker and weaker. In that part of the country, things move more slowly. They thought I was dying. Hell, I thought I was dying. But a week or so ago, the fever broke, and my body finally started to heal.”
“That was why you did not write to us,” Tobias said numbly. “You were too sick.”
“I did write to you a few days ago, but I seem to have beaten the letter here.” James scratched his beard.
“It has been a difficult time convincing people of who I am, though. So it may simply be that they never delivered the thing. I only managed to make the journey here because one of the farmers had to come up to London and offered to give me a lift. I stopped trying to convince people of who I am, eventually, lest they think me a madman.”
“Well, if you shaved that thing on your face, it might have helped your cause.” Rowen wrinkled her nose. “Honestly, you look like a mad hermit.”
“I rather like it.” James grinned at her, then coughed and rubbed his chest. “Truth be told, I feared that I would slit my own throat if I tried to shave. This damned cough just will not go away.”
Tobias’s chest tightened. His friend had nearly died. How could he have been so foolish? He should have broadened the search, should have gone down to Cornwall to visit the survivors.
Why did I not do that?
His eyes drifted to Rowen, and a chill crept into his bones.
“So there you have it. That is the whole sorry tale.” James leaned forward. “Truly, Rothwell, I cannot thank you enough. You have gone above and beyond anything I could ever have expected.”
“I only did what was necessary.” Tobias’s voice sounded strange to his own ears as he waved away his friend’s gratitude, not looking at Rowen as he did. “You saved my life, after all.”
“And I think your marrying my sister is more than repayment of that debt.” James looked between them.
“Thankfully, it should be easy enough to fix now that I am back. It might take a little time before I can get everything sorted out, but there is no reason you need to continue to be so inconvenienced. Your marriage should be easy enough to annul, assuming you have not… um…”
His face turned bright scarlet, and he made a vague gesture with his hands.
Tobias swallowed. An annulment.
“We have not.”
He sensed Rowen shifting in her seat and studiously looked anywhere but at her.
Do not think of it.
His fingers twitched, and he could almost feel the warmth of her in his mind.
No.
The relief on James’s face was obvious. “Good. That will make all of this much easier. I imagine you are both itching to get back to normal. And now that I am alive, there is no reason for you to stay married. We can put this whole mess behind us.”
“There is no reason for you to stay married.”
Those words hit Tobias with the force of a bullet. His head swam, and he shook his head. He swallowed, but could not bring himself to look at Rowen.
I want you.
He wanted her to say something, to object, but she did not. Shame washed over him, and he gritted his teeth.
Of course, she would not say anything. What was a moment of passion compared to what her brother was offering her? It was what she had always wanted, and she was not saying anything against it.
He is giving her her life back.
Tobias massaged his neck, his fingers tracing the scar that ran across it. He had let himself believe he could have it all, and now here was the proof that he deserved none of it.
“How far along are the repairs at Irving Manor?” James’s question brought him back to the present.
“There is still some work to be done.” Tobias thought he saw Rowen shift, but it must have been a trick of the light. “It will probably be another fortnight, at the very least.”
“That soon?” Rowen curled her fingers into a fist. “I had not realized it was so close to being finished.”
Was that hope in her voice or something else?
“I meant to tell you, but one thing led to another and…” he trailed off.
James pursed his lips and downed his whiskey. “Well, I suppose it cannot be helped. Rowen and the children will just have to live with me until the repairs are finished. Ewelme House is a little small, but I am sure we can manage.”
Tobias glanced towards Rowen, who was watching him, her eyes searching him for something.
He swallowed. “You would all be welcome to stay with me. There is plenty of room here.”
He kept the hope from his voice; he did not want Rowen to think he would not let her leave. Instead, his voice was flat and devoid of emotion.
James shook his head. “I could not possibly do that. Not when I have put you through so much already.”
Tobias felt his heart sink. “It is up to you, of course.”
“Ewelme House is rather small, James.” Rowen looked between both men. “Perhaps it would be better if we remained here?”
“That would be far too much to ask of Rothwell. Besides, it is only for a little while. I am sure we will all manage.” James gave her a reassuring smile that made Tobias’s stomach twist. “It will be fun! We can play parlor games and get up to all sorts of mischief. We could throw a ball!”
“I am in far too much debt to Rothwell as it is.” He turned to face Tobias. “Once I have all my affairs in order, I will repay you. Just let me know how much you have spent, and I will work something out.”
“You do not need to do that.” Tobias shook his head. “I only did what was necessary. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Come now, Rothwell, I have no wish to be in your debt. You must let me pay you what is owed.” James frowned.
“Keep your money. I do not need it.” Tobias made an emphatic gesture. “There is nothing to repay—there are no debts between us. You saved my life. I cared for your sister. We are even.”
The words sounded hollow to his own ears.
“That is too generous, Rothwell. I cannot possibly—”
“No, Jenkins. It is not generosity, simply a balancing of scales. I will not discuss the matter further. I have no wish to take your money.” Tobias clenched his fists.
How could I take money from you when these last few months have been the most alive I have felt?
“Very well. I know you well enough not to argue.” James looked from Rowen to Tobias and shrugged. “If you are sure…”
“I am,” Tobias said flatly. “If you wish to spend the night here, we can discuss preparations in the morning.”
“I can have one of the maids prepare a guest room if you would like?” Rowen gestured to the door.
Tobias thought he heard a catch in her voice, but he could not be certain.
James smiled at both of them. “As kind as the offer is, I have missed London. I want to spend the night out, especially as I will have my sister, niece, and nephew living with me soon. One last hurrah!” He clapped Tobias on the back and kissed Rowen on the cheek.
“I will see you both tomorrow. And we will get this whole thing sorted out. I promise.”
Tobias found himself nodding as he walked to his desk. His legs felt leaden, and he drained his glass of whiskey, before pouring himself another and draining it just as quickly.
“There is no reason for you to stay married.”
He glanced at Eric’s portrait. “What am I supposed to do now?”
There was no answer. Just silence, and a sense that he had just woken from what could have been a wonderful dream.