Chapter 20 #2
With a look of gratitude, Helena nodded.
Without a word, he offered her his arm, and they maneuvered their way across the ballroom. Upon reaching the same balcony door that they saw Chastity exit, Matteo stilled Helena.
“Breathe,” he told her.
Helena nodded and did as he bade.
Matteo opened the door to the balcony, and they stepped out, looking to all the world, just like a couple wanting reprieve from a crush of a ball.
The balcony was littered with groups and couples milling about and enjoying the night air. At the far end was a stone staircase that led to the gardens.
Matteo thought that it was not so long ago when he had accidentally met Helena in a garden as they both looked for a short escape from the activity of a ballroom. The mood was so very different now, though.
“I do not see her,” Helena whispered to Matteo.
“Let us head down the staircase.”
Firmly taking hold of Helena’s hand in his, they climbed down the stairs.
Helena’s unease was growing. For every second that Chastity was missing, Helena believed her sister was getting closer and closer to something irrevocable.
Fortunately for them, the staircase met with only one walkway. Following this, Helena felt Matteo gather her closer to him as they hastily followed the walkway.
Now and then, they came across other guests from the ball, also exploring the nighttime sights of the well-it garden.
“What could she be doing out here?” Helena said as her eyes scanned their surroundings. “Oh, Chastity, have I not taught you anything?”
“Check behind hedges as well,” Matteo said.
His statement made Helena recall the night when she and Matteo had hidden behind a garden hedge. That had happened accidentally, she tried not to imagine what one could do in a garden such as this if one had planned for it.
They moved on farther into the garden. They hardly passed any other guests now.
Helena was about to tell Matteo that perhaps she had been mistaken, perhaps it was not Chastity whom she saw leave the ballroom after all, when she caught a flash of white from between the broken branches of a garden hedge.
Helena stopped so abruptly that Matteo bumped into her. Chastity had been wearing a white gown.
“Where?” Matteo asked under his breath.
Helena gestured to one of the garden hedges quietly. Together, they went to it. They stopped merely a yard away from the hedge. Near enough, they could see Chastity standing alone with Lord Clifton.
Even just being alone together is enough to cause a scandal. Chastity knows that! Why would she risk it? Matteo and I appear to be correct in our suspicions about that man!
But the validation brought her no satisfaction; indeed, it brought the opposite. How she wished to have been proven wrong!
Chastity and Lord Clifton faced each other; his hand cupped her cheek. He leaned down towards Chastity as if to kiss her.
She felt alarm and disappointment at Chastity and at herself. Had she not impressed this enough on her sister? Helena suddenly felt herself unable to move; she found that she was not equal to confronting her sister at that moment.
Sensing this, Matteo gently moved her aside. He looked at Helena, asking for silent approval. When she nodded, he stepped forward and greeted Chastity and Lord Clifton in the most casual manner.
“Lady Chastity, Lord Clifton.” Matteo bowed. “What a fine night we are having. I see you are enjoying it too.”
Chastity and Lord Clifton, clearly taken by surprise by Matteo’s greeting, both stood frozen, unable to answer.
“Groups of guests have also ventured outside. The charity ball was starting to be a crush.” Matteo continued in the same tone. “Helena will be coming along soon as well; she just had a pebble in her slipper.”
He made a show of looking farther away and waved.
“Ah, here she is now,” Matteo said as he gestured for her to stand beside him. “Helena, my dear, I have just run into Lady Chastity and Lord Clifton. They were out for a stroll as well.”
Standing next to Matteo, she felt herself weaken. She put her hand on his arm and subtly leaned on him. She felt him instantly support her.
As if finally regaining their senses, Chastity and Lord Clifton moved farther apart.
“Yes, er, it was starting to become too warm inside with all the guests,” Lord Clifton said while eyeing Matteo warily.
“A sure sign of the charity’s success, is it not?”
“Indeed.”
Chastity and Helena said nothing at all. The former could not look at any of the others; her cheeks had gone pale. The latter swept her gaze from Chastity to Lord Clifton.
“Well, I think it is about time that we call it a night.” Matteo offered both arms to Helena and Chastity. “Let us head back and make our excuses to Lady Eastwood.”
The next hour happened so quickly that Helena could only recall pieces of it.
The three of them returned to the ballroom, saying farewell and congratulating their host, and finally riding the carriage back to Huntington House.
She hardly knew how she functioned with the heaviness that was in her heart.
They sat, all three of them, without talking. Only the sound of the carriage wheels and the horses’ hooves as they hit the cobblestoned street filled the quiet within the carriage.
When they arrived at Huntington House, they were ushered in by Mr. Keble. Still silently, they entered the house.
Chastity, still pale, quickly excused herself.
“Thank you for a lovely evening, Your Grace. But I must beg to be excused, I fear that I am experiencing a headache,” she said without looking Matteo in the eye.
“Of course, Lady Chastity.” Matteo bowed. “I hope that you get your rest.”
“Thank you.”
And without a word to her sister, Chastity rushed towards the stairs.
“Tea in the sitting room, if you please, Mr. Keble,” Helena told the butler.
Helena wrapped both hands around her teacup. The warmth it infused felt good against her cold hands. The tea soothed her. She leaned back against the wingback armchair and watched the fire dance in the fireplace. Opposite her, Matteo remained silent, watching her.
“Thank you, Matteo.”
“Whatever for?”
“You know.”
“I only wish that I could have had a better excuse to pound that man.”
Helena sighed.
“But they were not really doing anything wrong, were they? They were just talking. But still, had they been seen, just the two of them…”
“But they were not, that is the material point,” Matteo said.
He held out his hand to her. Without even thinking, she took it. How was it that her hand felt warmer when it was enfolded in his? Fingers entwined, Helena felt as if he transfused warmth into her body.
“You look tired, more tired than I have ever seen you,” Matteo said softly.
Laughing despite herself, Helena continued.
“What a truly ineffective way of making a lady feel beautiful.”
Matteo chuckled.
“You know that is not what I meant.”
Helena closed her eyes. This time, she leaned her head back as well against the back of the chair.
“The pressure that young ladies are constantly under is immense, I have seen this.” Matteo waited and continued only when she looked at him.
“But yours is a different kind of pressure because it is not for yourself but for your sister’s future.
I hope you know that I am here to be of any service to you and Lady Chastity. ”
“You already have been of immense help,” Helena said, smiling softly at him. “You make me feel as if I am not alone in this.”
“Because, indeed, you are not, Helena.”
“Thank you, Matteo.”
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.
Helena was weary, but somehow it was more bearable with him beside her.
At that moment, she did not care that she had, once again, disregarded all her warnings to herself.
Never mind that she felt more for Matteo than she had for any other man, never mind that she dreaded his leaving, never mind that she realized that she had come to depend on him.
She told herself now was not the time for those concerns. Now was for the satisfaction of having someone who understood her and for once sharing the burdens that she carried.
Helena felt her heart had finally fully opened. And she felt no inclination to stop it.