Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Helena woke up with the morning light streaming in her bedroom.
Her eyes opened tentatively, her mind slowly telling her body that yes, it was indeed the next day. As her consciousness set in, a heavy feeling that she could not quite explain settled in her. Something was wrong. Indeed, she had had that feeling since the incident of the charity ball.
Chastity had been distant for days now. She avoided Helena, in fact, all her sisters. The headache that she had used as an excuse the night of the ball extended until the next day. But Helena knew that it was just that—an excuse not to face any of them, her in particular.
Now fully awake, Helena knew that she could no longer ignore their situation.
I must speak to Chastity today; I can no longer delay it.
Helena rang for Sally and started to prepare for what she knew would be a difficult day.
In the breakfast room, only Faith and Grace were there having their morning meal. Once again, Chastity had asked for her breakfast to be taken up to her.
“Good morning, Faith. Good morning, Grace.” Helena said, trying her best to maintain a facade of normalcy.
“Chastity is still unwell?” Faith asked.
“She has just been lazy, I think,” Grace said after swallowing her food.
“Grace! Why would you say such a thing?” Helena admonished her younger sister. “It is a headache, as Chastity has claimed.”
“I saw her last night, she snuck to the kitchens and returned to her chambers carrying all types of food,” Grace told her sisters.
“And how came you to witness that?” Helena said with a raised eyebrow.
Grace’s cheeks turned pink.
“I was on my way back from the kitchens as well.”
Helena and Faith looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Was it a wonder then that Helena was devoted to these young ladies? Sisters they were, but it was also a fact that she loved them for their personalities and dispositions.
All the more reason for me to fix things with Chastity.
This, Helena, resolved on.
After breakfast, Helena went in search of Chastity, upon finding out from Sally that she had gone to the gardens for some air, Helena followed her there. She found her sister in the pergola, sitting on one of the benches, a closed book lay on her lap. Her eyes held a faraway look.
“Chastity?”
Chastity jumped and turned to her, in the process knocking over her book. She bent down hastily to retrieve it. Rushing to help her, Helena was surprised when Chastity stayed her with her hand.
“I am sorry, I had not meant to startle you,” Helena said instead. “I only wanted to see if you are feeling better today.”
“Yes, much better, thank you.”
“You did not come down for breakfast. I thought you were still unwell.”
“I do feel a little twinge just now; I think I shall go back to my room and resume my rest,” Chastity said rather quickly.
Without waiting for an answer, she rose and made for the house.
Helena sighed. She watched her sister’s retreating back and felt helpless. The calm and comfort that she usually felt when staying in the gardens were absent now. She sighed again and sat on the bench that her sister had just left.
A breeze fluttered the shrubs and the rose blooms that crawled about the pergola.
Strangely enough, it was the memory of Matteo handing her a rose that he had plucked—carefully removing the thorns as well—that made her feel a semblance of calm.
She lifted her face and let the breeze calm her further.
A rustling sound below her caught her attention.
Helena looked down and saw a piece of folded parchment that the breeze carried near her foot.
It had probably fallen with Chastity’s book.
She bent down to pick it up. Turning it over, she saw her sister’s name written on it and realized, with a start, that the penmanship was that of a man’s.
Lord Clifton, it must be him, for who else could it be?
Shocked, Helena sat down again. What was happening to her sister? She looked towards the house and shut her eyes.
“Oh, Chastity.”
Pacing her room, Helena watched the movement of the clock on the mantlepiece. A few more minutes and Sally should be done assisting Chastity for the night.
Her worries had deepened ever since she found Chastity’s letter. She had to speak to her sister before things got out of hand. As it was, Helena was already at a loss as to how she could address Chastity’s distance from her; now this new problem compounded everything as well.
Judging that the time was right, Helena opened her bedroom door and stepped out. She knocked gently on Chastity’s door. When no answer came, she knocked again.
“Chastity?”
Chastity opened the door. Her expression became guarded when she saw that it was Helena.
“May I come in?”
Chastity nodded and opened the door wider for her.
Not knowing how to begin, Helena sighed.
“You dropped this in the garden.”
Chastity’s eyes widened as she saw what Helena held out to her. She snatched the letter from her sister’s hand.
Helena pressed her lips together. “The letter is written in a man’s hand, Chastity.”
“Did you read it?” Chastity demanded.
Her angry tone had Helena straightening.
“I did not,” she replied in a clipped voice. “But I can see very clearly from the way your name is written that it is a man who wrote it.”
When Chastity remained silent, Helena rubbed her forehead is frustration.
“You know how improper this is, Chastity! This is enough to cause a scandal. Why would you risk that? I cannot always be there to watch over you, and that frightens me.”
“I am not a child, Helena! I do not need you watching over me!”
“I am doing this for your own good, can you not see that?” Helena said, stung at her sister’s words.
Chastity only looked at her with mutinous eyes. Then she went to the door and opened it.
“I would like to sleep now.”
“Chastity.”
“Please.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, Helena walked out of Chastity’s room.
She kept walking until she reached the sitting room. In the dim light of the dying fire, she made her way to the wingback chairs and sat on one. She looked at the chair beside hers, wishing that she could somehow see Matteo sitting there.
It still surprised her how he had suddenly become a regular part of her life. How was it that in such a short time, she had become so accustomed to him? So accustomed that she now looked for him when he was not beside her.
Helena stood up and lit a candle. She brought it to the writing table and prepared to write to Matteo.
When she had finished, she dried the ink and read the letter again.
Perhaps it was not such a good idea to ask him to meet her, knowing how she was starting to feel towards him, and knowing how they had planned all of this. But against her better judgment, she wanted Matteo to meet her at Hyde Park the next morning.
Matteo stood by the Grosvenor Gate of Hyde Park. Leaning against the open gate, he had been awaiting Helena’s arrival for some minutes when he saw her figure appear down the street.
He knew at once from reading Helena’s note last night that something was wrong. And this he was able to confirm as he watched her walking towards him. Her expression was grim, her shoulders stiff.
“What is the matter?”
Taking her hand, he led her towards the lesser-known paths of the Serpentine. He thought he had an idea of what weighed her down, but he waited until she was ready to talk.
Helena smiled a small smile.
“You agreed to walk the paths of the Serpentine.”
“Well, there is not much danger in the mornings. It is late enough in the morning that the unsavory characters will have been gone.”
“Thank you for agreeing to meet me.”
“It is no trouble at all, but you know that I would have gone to Huntington House had you only told me to.”
“I have much need to be out of the house today.”
To Matteo, she sounded bone-weary. Seeing her this way made Matteo want to do all that was in his power to alleviate her troubles from her. Turning to Helena, he tilted her face gently until her eyes met his.
“What has happened, Helena?”
“Oh, Matteo.” She said his name in a sigh. “Chastity has been secretly corresponding with a man.”
Matteo was unable to speak for a moment.
“Do you know who it is?”
“I have an idea, though I did not read the letter, but the penmanship is definitely a gentleman’s. I fear that this will all end in her getting hurt. This man cannot be of the decent sort if he carries on like this.”
She clasped her hands together in distress.
“Lord Clifton?”
Helena nodded.
“That is my suspicion, too. I tried to speak to her about this, but she refused to even utter a word in answer.” Helena continued.
“But it is not merely that. I fear that Chastity is growing farther away from me. I feel her resentment that I should be in this role. I fear that by trying so hard to protect her, I have pushed her away instead.”
Helena looked at Matteo and grasped his arm.
“Have I been too hard on her? Have I been overbearing? Please tell me, Matteo.”
Taking a deep breath, Matteo looked around the empty path. He reflected on what he knew from the guidance he received in his own upbringing—or the lack of it.
“I think that your sisters are lucky to have you.”
“But—”
He gently put a finger to her lips to stop her from interrupting.
“I speak as an adult who had no one to guide me growing up. There were times when mistakes taught me more than any lecture could have. Sometimes protecting your loved one means letting them make mistakes.”
Matteo smoothed an errant lock of hair from her forehead, the golden strands soft to his touch. Her blue eyes, somewhat darkened with her troubles, watched him carefully.
“Perhaps Chastity needs the chance to choose for herself, even if it does indeed end in pain.”
Matteo watched Helena as she considered his words. He could see the pain, the uncertainty, even the regret in her every expression.
How deeply she cares. A sister, a daughter, indeed a mother to her sisters, all roles that she has taken upon herself. Alone.