Chapter 33 #2
“You are a dear, Lydia. And for what it’s worth… I know you have been struggling with what happened. This was not what you planned for life at all, but sometimes we must go where the tide carries us. In Florence, I want you to do something for me.”
“What’s that?”
“I want you to live, Lydia. Live without trappings, without hesitation. Live because you have no idea how long you’re going to get.
Indulge your instincts and follow your desires.
Act without thinking. Be yourself, and be happy.
Life is too short to drown in melancholy, even though sometimes it feels entirely natural to do so. ”
“I will try,” Lydia replied although she did not mean this as sincerely as she did the previous statement.
They adjourned to the sitting room where they waited for Theodore’s arrival.
Agatha kept glancing at the time, glaring at the clock.
The ticking minutes were interminable. Agatha paced around, considered changing her dress, and threw her hands in the air.
All the time, Lydia remained calm and reassured Agatha that it would all be for the best. It was strange to see her so flustered.
Then, a carriage pulled up.
“He’s here,” Agatha gasped, sounding so surprised, as if he had not been invited. The butler announced Lord Theodore, who strode into the room with a sheepish look on his face. He was dressed in fine clothes, and his hair had been trimmed. When he saw Agatha, a dazed expression came upon his face.
“Theodore, it’s been a while,” Agatha said, clasping her hands together in front of her stomach. Lydia watched them, a smile curling upon her lips.
“It has indeed. And you haven’t changed a bit.
You’re just as beautiful as ever,” Theodore said, walking up to her and taking her hands.
He squeezed them tightly, and they gazed into each other’s eyes.
This reunion had a transformative effect as both of them seemed to grow younger before Lydia’s eyes.
“Thank you,” Agatha said, blushing a little. “Neither have you.”
“I’m a little broader in some places,” Theodore joked, patting his stomach.
Agatha chuckled. “It suits you.”
A gentle silence fell over them as they stood in reverie at one another.
“Would you like to go for a walk in the garden? I can chaperone you,” Lydia said.
“I think we’re far too old for a chaperone,” Agatha chuckled, but she did not protest when Lydia joined them. Theodore offered Agatha his arm, and she took it willingly. Together, they went outside, and Lydia followed a few paces back.
“I’ve been speaking to Lydia, and it seems as though you have lived a full life,” Theodore said.
“Indeed, I have, one that has been filled with both triumphs and tragedy.”
“I am sorry to hear what happened. Parents should never outlive their children.”
“No, and I miss them every day. But I see so much of him in Charlotte, Edmund, and Lydia. They have all grown into fine people.”
“I’m sure they have, especially if Lydia is any indication. She is an intrepid young woman, and I have much to be grateful to her for. If it was not for her, then I would not be standing here.”
“No, she does like to make the world better for other people.”
“Do you find it strange that we are standing here after all this time?”
“A little, yes, especially as so many of our peers are no longer with us.”
“There are times when it is hard to ignore the days are dwindling, but I do hope that I have a good few years left in me yet.”
“And to make the most of them, no matter how many there are.”
“Indeed,” Theodore replied. They walked around the garden slowly, sharing stories of former acquaintances and reminiscing about old times.
Lydia thought that Agatha must have been relieved to speak with someone who had lived through those times with her.
They also talked about the years they had spent apart, Agatha who had a family, and Theodore who did not.
“I always did hope that you found someone who would take care of you, Theodore. You were far too good a man to spend life alone.”
“I could not love anyone after you, Agatha. I tried, and for a time, I even thought of getting married for practical reasons, but it seemed wrong of me to marry someone when I would always compare her to you. I never forgot you, not over all these years.”
“And I never forgot you, either. And even though I am happy with my life and the people in it,” she glanced over her shoulder at Lydia as she said this, “there are times when I think about what might have happened if things had been different. If we had…”
Her words trailed away. Theodore bowed his head. He stopped suddenly and turned towards her.
“I have never been an impetuous man, Agatha, but being here with you has stirred something in my heart. I had to walk away from you once, and I’m not sure I can do so again.
Would you consider marrying again? We can give each other a second chance.
Of course, I know the diamond of the Season must have many suitors… ” he said with a wry smile.
Agatha tapped his shoulder and chuckled lightly.
Lydia pressed her lips together. While she was happy for Agatha, she couldn’t help but feel slightly galled that her grandmother would get married too, and she would be the only unwed member of the family.
At this rate, even Clara, Mary and Alfred’s daughter, would be a bride before her.
“Thankfully I have no overbearing father to make my decisions for me, unless you object.” Agatha shot a look towards Lydia, who raised her hands and shook her head. Agatha turned back to Theodore. “I would be honored to be your wife, Theodore. I just hope I am worth the wait.”
“I have no doubt,” Theodore said. They hugged tightly, and as Lydia gazed upon them, all bitterness was dispelled from her heart, for how could she be selfish enough to think of her own pain when faced with such wholesome news?
Theodore and Agatha shared a secret whisper before Theodore approached Lydia. He took her hands gently and gazed with eyes shimmering eyes, the eyes of a man whose life-long dream had been fulfilled, a man for whom the impossible had happened.
“Lydia, I want to thank you sincerely for your letter and your encouragement. I was an utter wreck on the way here. I did not feel as though I could ever match up with Agatha’s memory of me, but now, I am glad that I did not allow my fears to get the better of me.”
“It is my pleasure and honor, Theodore. I don’t feel that anyone should go through life being unhappy, not when things can be so easily rectified,” she replied.
A strange look came over Theodore’s face.
“It’s funny you should say that because I know of another who is unhappy, and I would like to offer you some advice so that I may repay the favor you have shown me.”
Lydia blushed a little, for she did not entirely want to speak about this matter with Theodore.
“I did not realize that I wore my feelings so openly. I do appreciate your concern, but the matter is well in hand. I shall be leaving for Florence soon, and I am sure the trip will be restorative.”
Theodore furrowed his brow.
“I was not speaking of you, Lydia but Victor.”
“Victor?” The name was like a dagger in her heart. Suddenly all of the powerful feelings came rushing back again, potent, and raw and savage, as though she was being torn to shreds by feral claws.
“Indeed, he has not been the same since you left. He has disappeared inside himself, and I fear that if something isn’t done soon, then he will be lost forever.”
“I am sorry to hear that, but I’m not sure there is anything I can do.”
“You could go to him. You could speak about what transpired between you. When you were together, you shared a rapport that is all too rare. I fully believed you loved each other.”
I believed it too, Lydia thought although she kept this sentiment to herself.
“Unfortunately, I am not sure I have the capability to save Victor. If there were any shadows of feelings in his heart, then he could come to London himself. I cannot go to him. As I said, I already have plans to leave for Florence.”
A pensive look came upon Theodore’s face. He sighed heavily and stroked his chin.
“I hope that history is not repeating itself. I lost the person I loved and was forced to live in agony. If you bear any affection for him, I ask that you—”
“It is impossible,” Lydia said firmly. While she appreciated Theodore’s intentions, she did not believe that her presence would help Victor.
After all, they had kissed once, and he hadn’t even acknowledged it.
He was a callous man, and while Theodore might have thought Victor was unhappy, Lydia assumed that he was quite comfortable in his solitary life.
“I shall be leaving for Florence soon, and I have yet to determine for how long I shall stay there. I might well stay forever if it offers me more than London can,” she said.