Chapter 20
Could it be that he is angry at me?
As Joanna made her way to the sunroom, she recounted the events of the night so far, including everything she said and did.
She could not think of a single thing she could have done to embarrass the duke.
The only embarrassing thing about her was her father, and Evan seemed perfectly at peace with that before the evening started.
Anger simmered beneath the surface as she slipped out of the ballroom unnoticed and made her way to the nearby sunroom. If Evan wanted to call off their agreement because he realized he could not stomach the slighting remarks about her, then she would certainly give him a piece of her mind.
The sunroom was quiet, empty, and dimly lit with candles. She could make out sofas and chairs positioned to best enjoy the view of the gardens, which were visible from the large glass windows covering the side of the house. She looked out at the manicured gardens, lit up by lantern lights.
Joanna could not help but be a little wistful at the sight.
The gardens at Clifford Manor used to look this beautiful, bursting with bright flowers that decorated the winding cobblestone path that went through the entire garden.
Now, it was a shadow of its former self, without any charm or frills.
Their single gardener did his best, but he could only keep the place from looking completely neglected while also maintaining a small vegetable patch to supplement their diets.
Perhaps one day their gardens would look this beautiful again. Before her agreement with Evan, it didn’t seem possible. Now, she dared to dream.
Of course, there was every possibility that he would suddenly call off their agreement tonight. She didn’t know why else he would want to meet with her in private.
The sound of the sunroom door opening and closing interrupted her thoughts.
She turned to see Evan, his face partially in shadow, but she knew it was him and no one else.
She squared her shoulders as she forced herself to meet his eyes.
She would not cower at him, even if he decided that she was not good enough, even for a fake courtship.
“It is very scandalous for the two of us to be here alone,” she said. “Say what you must, so I can leave before someone catches us.”
He didn’t say a word. Instead, he strode to her with such intensity that she took a step back without meaning to. His hands went to her upper arms, holding her in place with unexpected tenderness. She opened her mouth to object, but before she could get the words out, his lips were on hers.
Heat rushed through her as he claimed her mouth with urgency.
His tongue reached out to lick her bottom lip, and she moaned softly.
All the tension left her body, and, without meaning to, she melted into his arms. Her body leaned into his own as he wrapped an arm around her waist. He sighed softly, with pleasure.
She breathed in his musky cologne and pressed her legs together, feeling a heat pool between them along with a need for him. She desired him more than she had ever desired any other man, and she wanted him to do wicked things to her, like raise her skirts and touch her in her more intimate areas…
He moaned, as if he could read her thoughts. For all she knew, he could. She would not be surprised if someone as sure of himself as the Duke of Ice knew all the world’s secrets, including her own.
Suddenly, he gasped and pulled away from her.
His eyes were wide and dark with desire.
His face was flushed, and his chest heaved, as if he had just run across the estate instead of merely kissing her in the sunroom.
Joanna felt bereft without his body against hers.
It only took a moment for her to come back to her senses, and mortification took hold.
“Forgive me,” Evan rasped. “I should not have done that.”
She turned away from him, struggling to get her composure. What was wrong with her? Was she really so eager to join her father in the scandal papers? She managed a smile.
“I was worried you had called me into the room so you could call off our agreement. I am relieved to know that is not the case.” She turned to look at him again, her cordial smile in place.
Her chest clenched when she saw the obvious regret on his face.
He must have forgotten whose daughter he was kissing in the heat of the moment.
“I shall leave before someone sees us here, Your Grace. I recommend you wait before following me back to the ball.”
He nodded, his expression full of longing and shame. She left the sunroom and breathed a sigh of relief that no one had seen her leave.
Joanna wasn’t ready to go back to the ballroom, however. She needed a moment to compose herself.
So instead of going straight back to the gathering, she turned down the hall, hoping to find a quiet room where she could collect her thoughts without causing a scandal.
Joanna ducked into a room with an open door, thinking it was a drawing room, but instead, she found herself in the library.
She quietly inhaled the scent of books, letting it soothe her as she walked into the room, out of view from the hallway. “Just a few moments,” she whispered to herself as she started to peruse the book titles. “Just a few moments, and then I will be ready to join the ball again.”
However, it took her less than one moment to realize she wasn’t alone in the room. She heard the faint sound of muffled sobbing.
“Excuse me?” She called as she rounded a corner, looking for the source of the sound. “Is someone there?”
The crying quickly ceased, with only a faint hiccup and sniffle.
“It’s all right,” Joanna said. “I mean you no harm.” Perhaps a maid was having a bad night and needed to find a private place to cry.
But when she reached the far end of the library, she saw a lady dressed in a pale yellow ball gown. She was turned away from Joanna, with her face covered in her hands as she pressed herself into a corner near the fireplace.
“Are you all right?” Joanna hurried over to her. “What happened?” she asked.
The young lady shook her head, still keeping her gaze averted from Joanna’s.
“It’s all right, you can tell me. I am Miss Thorne. Believe me, I am not about to spread gossip when I have been on the wrong end of it tonight.”
The lady slowly lowered her hands and turned to her.
She was a pretty young girl, probably around Joanna’s age, or maybe a little younger.
She had light brown hair and hazel-green eyes.
Her face was stained with tears, but her delicately pretty features were still obvious.
“I recognize you. You are with the Duke of the Blackwell,” she said. “Everyone is talking about it.”
Joanna smiled. “I know. It’s quite silly, isn’t it? Now, what is the matter? Did someone hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No, nothing like that. It is merely…” she sighed. “Have you ever felt trapped?”
“Yes, certainly.” Joanna sat down in one of the armchairs near the fireplace, and the young lady did the same.
“I have not been able to attend many Season events for the past three years. Every time we are in London, I am practically confined to the manor.” Normally, she would not be so open about this, but she had a feeling this girl just needed a friend at the moment.
The lady bit her lip. “Well, I have been able to attend every Season. My father is making me accept every ball invitation that comes my way this year, and I am afraid I am being ungrateful, because this is the last place I want to be tonight.”
“No, you are not being ungrateful,” Joanna said. “I would hate to go to balls against my will as well. Perhaps you should tell your father how you feel. I am sure he would not want to see you crying in the library.”
She let out a small, humorless laugh. “Perhaps not, simply because I can’t find a respectable husband by crying in the library, but that would be the extent of it.
I must find a husband this Season, according to him.
But, honestly, I don’t want to marry any man of the ton.
” She looked a little panicked. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that. ”
Joanna smiled. “Your secret is safe with me. Although I am curious—what is your name?”
“Oh my, I have completely forgotten my manners. I am Lady Katherine Preston.”
“It’s nice to officially meet you, Lady Katherine,” Joanna said. She propped her head on her hand. “I can’t help but wonder… if you don’t want to marry any man of the ton, is there someone else you do want?”
She looked a little guilty before she leaned forward.
“There is a man,” she whispered. “He works for my father, who would never approve. But he’s the sweetest man I have ever known.
” She smiled. “He makes me laugh, and he cares about more than whiskey and politics. You know, I have never known a married couple in the ton who wish to spend time with each other any more than is necessary. But he… I could spend a century with him and it would not be enough.” She giggled and looked down.
“Forgive me for rambling. I suppose I just needed to tell someone.”
“I am happy to listen,” Joanna said, smiling. “To be honest, it is nice talking to someone who isn’t preoccupied with the frequency that my father’s name ends up in the scandal sheets.”
“I never read those if I can help it.” She shuddered.
“They are always so mean-spirited. It never seemed right to me.” She sighed and shook her head.
“Sometimes I think I was switched at birth with the real Lady Katherine Preston. I do not think I can stomach society life. I am not sure if you understand what I mean.”
Joanna understood her a little too well.
The ton could be cruel, and Lady Katherine seemed incredibly sweet.
Luckily, the young lady did not draw much attention to herself, so she would not be the target of ridicule.
Joanna doubted Katherine would be able to handle it if she ended up becoming the subject of gossip.
“Frankly, I think London society could do with more ladies like you,” she said.
Katherine smiled. “Thank you, Miss Thorne. You are very kind.” She took a deep breath and wiped her face. “I believe I will go powder my nose and return to the ball. Thank you. It was nice talking to someone without watching everything I say for once.”
Joanna smiled. “I enjoyed it as well. I am glad you are feeling better.”
The young lady left, and Joanna knew she had spent enough time away from the dance herself.
She felt better after taking some time away from Evan.
That kiss had been as wonderful as it was scandalous.
She was almost embarrassed to face Evan again.
But she couldn’t dwell on it here or surely someone would be able to deduce from her expression that something scandalous had happened between her and Evan.
Best to put it out of her mind until she got home.
Until then, she needed to return to the dance before she was missed.