Chapter 27
Ineed to get out of here.
Evan was in a blind panic as he raced through the park.
Every raindrop on his skin felt like liquid fire, trying to burn him alive.
He was vaguely aware of finding his grandmother and exchanging a few words with her, but the panic consumed him.
He could not breathe as memories rushed through his head.
His parents laughing. His mother’s hand was on his shoulder as he curled up beside her, feeling safe and warm in the carriage…
Oh god, the carriage.
Nausea rolled through his stomach. Small but firm hands pushed him along to an old boathouse along the Serpentine. He was no longer in the downpour, but it still echoed along the roof, filling his mind with a clattering cacophony of sound.
“Evan,” his grandmother said. She grabbed his arms, her nails sinking into his jacket. “Evan, look at me!”
He stared at his grandmother, but it felt like only half of him saw her. The other half of him was far away.
She started to rub his arms comfortingly. “I am so sorry. If I had known it would rain, I definitely would not have brought you here. I would not have left you alone.”
He closed his eyes, trying to focus on his grandmother’s voice instead of the rain, but it was difficult. It took him several moments before he was able to speak. “Miss Thorne,” he rasped. “I need to find Miss Thorne.”
He pushed past his grandmother and went back outside. As soon as he was in the rain again, panic made him seize up, as if his lungs were exploding.
His grandmother pulled him back into the boathouse.
“Find Miss Thorne,” he commanded.
Her brow furrowed. “But… ”
“Please.” He would never forgive himself if something happened to her.
His grandmother nodded. “All right. Right away. Just stay where you are.”
As if there was any chance of him going back in the rain.
The dowager duchess disappeared to find Joanna. Evan started to pace around the abandoned building, feeling agitated. The sound of the rain was much too loud, and if he didn’t do anything, then it would threaten to overwhelm him.
To distract his thoughts, he closed his eyes and thought about Joanna in his arms.
Her body felt so small and fragile against his, and he relished the feeling of it. It was so easy to imagine their accidental embrace ending in a different way. He imagined his hand traveling from the small of her back to the laces of her dress.
Perhaps it would take her a moment to realize he was undoing the laces with quick, deft fingers, but when she did, she would blush so sweetly. He saw the way she had looked at him on the trail and knew her thoughts were just as wicked as his own, even if she might pretend otherwise.
He had felt the way her hands had traveled down the front of his clothing, and the thought sent blood rushing to his member now.
If he had undressed her and bade her lie down on the grass, she would have in that moment.
He would have been able to see her entire body then and play with her as much as he liked.
He imagined his hand slipping down between her legs and cupping her sex as he kissed her senseless until the only word she could say was his name.
Not ‘Duke’ or ‘Your Grace’, but Evan. What he would not give to hear her call him that as he sent her over the edge.
In less than twenty minutes, the rain stopped, and Evan came back to reality after his daydream.
His fantasies had managed to distract him from the weather, but he felt completely exhausted by the end of it.
When he was sure that it was over, he left the boathouse and looked around.
The air smelled sweet from the rain, but luckily it looked like the sky was lightening up a bit.
He would probably not feel completely relieved until he could feel the sun on his face.
But it was London. Who knew if that was on the agenda for the day?
“Evan!” His grandmother called.
He strode over to her, not caring about the mud that covered his shoes and the hem of his pants. “Where is Miss Thorne?” he asked her, seeing that she was alone.
His grandmother only shook her head. “I could not find her. She’s gone.”
“Your Grace? Your Grace, where are you?”
The rain soaked through Joanna and left her shivering as she made her way through Hyde Park.
She had no umbrella with her and saw no sign of the dowager duchess or Evan, so she assumed that they must have left, and she left the park to take the long walk home.
Even after the rain stopped, she didn’t warm up.
So she shivered as she walked down the street and avoided eye contact with the other passersby.
At least her home was only a short walk from Hyde Park.
She had just walked to the park with the duke and his grandmother with very little effort.
However, in the rain, that short walk now felt like a long journey.
A carriage suddenly slowed to a stop next to Joanna and she looked up, steeling herself for a gossiping acquaintance who was sure to tell all of London about seeing Joanna walking down the street, completely soaked and without a chaperone.
But instead, the carriage door opened and Penelope appeared. “Joanna? Get in, quickly!”
Joanna smiled gratefully at her friend as she got into the carriage. “Thank you.”
Penelope looked her up and down, concerned. “What were uyou doing out in the rain? You’re sure to catch your death.”
Joanna grimaced and wiped water off her face. “I went to Hyde Park with the duke and his grandmother. We were having a lovely time until it started raining. Then he just ran away.”
Her eyes widened. “He just left you standing there in the rain?”
She shivered from the cold. “I’m glad you found me and not someone else,” she said, her teeth chattering slightly.
“I will murder him,” she said. “He had no right to put you in such a precarious position.”
“I’m sure he had a good reason.” She had seen the panicked look in his eye, after all. But she didn’t want to tell Penelope that. It felt private. “I don’t wish to talk about it. I just wish to go home and forget this happened.”
“Of course,” Penelope said softly.
Penelope’s carriage pulled up to Clifford Manor and Joanna bid her friend farewell before hurrying inside to the comfort and safety of her home.
She shut the front door behind her with a sigh of relief. Mrs. Lucas hurried to the door as soon as she entered. Her eyes widened. “What happened to you, Miss Thorne?” She asked.
“I got separated from His Grace and the dowager duchess,” she said with chattering teeth.
She tsked. “That good-for-nothing duke, leaving a young lady out in the rain to walk home by herself. Ridiculous.”
“I do not wish to talk about it,” Joanna said.
“Of course, my dear. Come on, I will help you to your room. I am happy to be your lady’s maid for the day.”
The housekeeper helped Joanna up the stairs to her bedchamber and helped her undress out of her wet clothing.
Soon, Joanna was dressed in a dry shift, with a thick quilt wrapped around her to help her warm up.
Mrs. Lucas prepared a fresh afternoon dress for her to wear after she was warm and disposed of her wet clothes in the laundry.
Joanna didn’t know what to think. She felt angry and sad by the duke leaving her in the middle of the park.
But he didn’t seem like the kind of person who would find joy in taking young ladies to a secluded part of Hyde Park only to abandon them in the rain.
He must have a reason for it. The expression on his face made him almost seem scared.
But that would be silly. How can anyone be scared of the rain?
If she kept mulling over it, she would simply think herself in circles. She just needed to accept that she would probably not get a real answer about what happened from the duke, especially when it was a false courtship. He didn’t owe her the depths of his soul, after all.
After a moment of ruminating in her miserable thoughts Joanna broke the silence. “Please don’t tell my parents about this.”
“Why not?” Mrs. Lucas said sharply. “They should know a selfish rogue is courting their daughter.”
“Oh, but he is not.” Joanna bit her lip.
“I… I don’t know how much I want to say right now.
All of it is very confusing, but I don’t want you to be cross with His Grace.
Believe me, I am cross enough for both of us.
” It was a strange feeling. She was angry with Evan, but still felt the need to defend him.
Something about the rain seemed to terrify him.