Chapter 28
The day after that horrible experience in Hyde Park, Evan took Joanna to the opera, with his grandmother acting as their chaperone. For once, she was staying close to them. He had a feeling she was feeling guilty after he got caught in the rain.
He expected Joanna to be outwardly cross with him when he picked her up. Instead, she was cordial, with a polite smile pasted on her face, and that felt worse.
On the way to the opera, he brought it up. “I must apologize for what happened in Hyde Park,” he said. “I can explain—”
She shook her head. “There is no need to, Your Grace. I do not wish to remember that day. Let us never speak of it again.”
Frustration rose inside him at that answer. It was important to him that she understood why he reacted that way. However, it was clear he wasn’t going to get an answer from her on that front. “You look beautiful,” he said instead.
She did look gorgeous, wearing a dark purple evening gown with diamond earrings and a necklace. Black embroidery decorated the front of her evening gown. The dark colors brought out the natural beauty in her dark hair and eyes.
She smiled at him, looking relieved that the conversation had taken a much safer turn. “Thank you, Your Grace. You look quite well yourself. I like the cravat. It’s refreshing to see you in something other than black.”
He looked down at the dark blue strip of fabric tied around his neck. “It was a gift from my brother last Christmas. He also thought I could do with some more color in my wardrobe.”
She smiled at him. Visions of her untying his cravat before unbuttoning his shirt flickered through his mind, but he pushed them away.
They arrived at the opera a moment later, where all opportunities for conversation ceased because they ran into Lady Penelope Atwood, her chaperone, and a man that the duke vaguely recognized as the Baron of Suffridge.
They were inside the building, where a small crowd of theater-goers were chatting in small groups before they would be allowed into their respective seats.
Penelope immediately embraced Joanna. “It’s so lovely to see you again,” she said.
“You as well,” Joanna said, laughing. “Are you here on a date?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes. The young man is as persistent as his taste in books is poor.” She made sure to raise her voice loud enough for the young man to hear. The baron merely smiled and looked completely unbothered by the insult.
The duke exchanged pleasantries with him, and Penelope seemed to remember that she wasn’t alone with her friend. She dropped a curtsy and gave a kind smile to the dowager duchess before her expression turned into a glower as she curtsied for him. “Your Grace,” she said flatly.
He nodded at her, careful to keep from reacting. “Lady Penelope. It’s nice to see you again.”
Penelope grabbed Joanna’s arm. “Let us go on a quick walk before we must take our seats for the performance.” She tucked her arm in Joanna’s and they walked away.
The baron smiled and shook his head before he made his excuses and went to mingle with some acquaintances. The dowager duchess turned to her grandson. “I am guessing the young lady is not very fond of you.”
“I should think not,” he said. He remembered Joanna mentioning that she had to defend him to Penelope after the ball, but he didn’t know where exactly he had lost Penelope’s good opinion of him.
After all, she seemed happy enough to dance with him earlier in the night.
“But it’s no matter.” He watched Joanna and Penelope talk to each other for a moment, but when he turned to look at his grandmother again, he realized she had disappeared.
His brow furrowing, he scanned the crowd, looking for any sign of her. He moved through the swarm of people, ignoring everyone who threw greetings his way as he looked for the dowager duchess.
Finally, he saw her on the edge of the crowd, talking to an older gentleman.
Her back was to him, and he got a good look at the man she was with.
He was dressed very finely, with thick, graying hair and dark eyes.
The duke didn’t recognize him, but when the man saw him, he said a parting remark to his grandmother before disappearing into the crowd.
“Grandmother?” Evan said as he approached her. When she turned around, she was brushing tears away from her face. Alarm shot through him at the sight of her. “What happened?” he asked as he put his hands on her shoulders. “Who was that man?” He would destroy him for making her cry like that.
“It’s no one dear,” she said softly. “Just an old friend.” She hurried to dab away her tears with a handkerchief and gave him a strained smile.
“I haven’t seen him in years and he just reminded me of your grandfather.
That’s all.” She looked around at the crowd and the theater doors.
“Do you think it will be time to take our seats soon?”
Even though she was trying to hide it, he could tell that she was still distraught. “Perhaps we should go home,” he said softly. “I can explain things to Miss Thorne. She might prefer to watch the show with Lady Penelope anyway.”
“Nonsense, my dear. We came all this way. And I dearly love the opera.” She smiled. “I just need a moment. Go find Miss Thorne. I don’t want to lose her in the crowd.”
He nodded. “Of course.”
He left to give his grandmother time to compose herself and instead went after Joanna. He found her talking heatedly with Penelope, who looked angry.
Penelope saw him first, and she immediately turned on him. “How dare you leave her alone in the middle of Hyde Park?” she said, outraged. “She could have been mugged! At the very least, she could have gotten a cold, being forced to walk in the rain like that.”
His worry for his grandmother morphed into anger. He gave the young lady a furious look. “I suggest you don’t make comments about my character without knowing the full story, my lady.” His voice was full of ice.
Penelope turned pale and shrank back away from him, all of her anger and bluster gone.
Joanna stepped in between them. “It’s quite all right, Penelope,” she said calmly. She looked up at Evan with a polite smile, not looking at all bothered by his furious scowl. “A little rain has never hurt anyone.”
He grimaced, even though he knew the comment was innocent enough. “That is actually something I wish to talk to you about. I must explain—”
“So sorry to interrupt, Your Grace!” said a young man who had appeared at their side immediately. He looked at Joanna with a broad smile on his face. “You are Miss Thorne, unless I am mistaken? Do you remember me? We danced together at the ball at Thornbush Hall.”
Joanna smiled warmly at the man. “Yes, of course I remember you! Lord Forrester!” She gave him a quick curtsy. “How is your sister doing?”
“She is very well! Do you wish to see her perhaps? She is only standing right over there.” He led her away without a single word more to the others.
The duke watched them disappear into the crowd, and he could not stop the wave of uncontrollable envy rise up inside of him at the sight of her with another man. He clenched his hands into fists, hard enough to make his knuckles turn white.
He didn’t know why it mattered so much, but he needed to explain himself to Joanna instead of letting her brush it off with the same politeness she would use to brush off an unwanted acquaintance.
He needed her to understand and forgive him.
He needed to make things right. Until then, he feared he would always loathe the sight of her giving her attention to another man.
She owes you nothing. You can’t even give her a proper marriage when the Season is over.
Lady Penelope watched him with a curious look. “You know, if you really wish to win Miss Thorne’s heart, then you should do it with food. She is quite passionate about it, Your Grace.”
He stared at her incredulously. “Why should I trust you? Do you actually want me to successfully court your friend?”
She shrugged. “In all honesty, I am still making up my mind about you. Joanna must see some redeemable quality in you if she feels the need to defend you so passionately every time your back is turned. She would not be so forceful if it wasn’t the case.
Perhaps with enough time, I will understand what she sees in you. ”
Before he could reply, the Baron of Suffridge appeared next to Penelope. “My lady, they are calling us to our seats now. Isn’t the opera refreshing? I must say, I believe operas by Giuseppe Verdi have more merit and skill than operas by Hector Berlioz. What say you?”
She looked at him with complete outrage. “What are you saying, my lord? This is quite an outrageous opinion!” She followed him through the crowd, her voice raised as she lectured him on the merits of Berlioz’s operas, while the baron’s laughter could be heard echoing off the walls.
Joanna fell into step next to Evan as they met up with his grandmother in Evan’s box seat. She gave him a polite smile, but it left a bad taste in Evan’s mouth. He needed to make things right with her. And he would figure out how.
Going to the opera with Evan was torture for Joanna after everything that happened. Of course, she needed to go. She would not break their agreement, especially because her family needed everything Evan could provide for them.
She had been determined to put on a brave face and smile the whole time. But at the same time, she felt horrible. Throughout the entire night, only one thought echoed in her head: he doesn’t want you.
She didn’t need whatever excuses he would make about his behavior in Hyde Park. After spending a lot of time thinking about it, she only came to one conclusion: it didn’t matter what his reasons were for running away. All that mattered was he didn’t care enough about her to stay.
Why would he? It was a false courtship. Perhaps he enjoyed teasing her as much as he enjoyed her company, but that was the extent of his feelings and she had best keep that in mind to keep herself from expecting more from him.
When they sat together in the opera box with the dowager duchess, there was very little conversation.
The dowager duchess was unusually subdued and Evan was brooding.
Now and then he cast an unreadable look in her direction, but didn’t say anything.
Joanna was in no mood to start a conversation herself, not when it felt like every word exchanged with him either hurt her or made her feelings for him grow.
As the opera began, his hand brushed against hers. She didn’t know if it was deliberate or accidental but it didn’t matter. He doesn’t want you. She pulled her hand away and did her best to swallow past the lump in her throat.
She was relieved when the night was over, so she could go home and curl up in bed and soothe her aching heart. She had no reason to be disappointed. She had known from the beginning that it was a false courtship. So why did all of it hurt so badly?
The next morning, Joanna joined her mother at the breakfast table as usual.
“An invitation came for you today, from Blackwell Manor,” her mother said, handing her a card.
“Meanwhile, I am expected for tea with Lady Brandbury.” Her mother could hardly contain her delight.
Joanna knew the social isolation had been as difficult on her mother as it had been on herself, and she was glad that her mother was being welcomed into society again.
Joanna read through the card from Evan. “The duke wishes for me to go to dinner at the manor tonight,” she said. “The dowager duchess wishes to see me again.”
“Excellent,” her mother said. “At this rate, it should not be long before he proposes to you.”
Joanna swallowed. “Perhaps he will change his mind about me. Would that be so horrible? We are welcomed back in society again, which will help Aurelia flourish in her debut season. Perhaps I will even find another suitor myself.”
“Oh Joanna, I know you are modest, but there is little likelihood that he will merely lose interest after all the trouble he’s gone through for you.
He is absolutely smitten with you.” She shook her head, laughing slightly.
“It is funny, isn’t it? You and Penelope entered into a deception to make him detest you—well, her.
And he ends up falling madly in love with you. ”
Joanna quickly finished the rest of her breakfast, even though she was no longer hungry. “Yes, I suppose so,” she said. “I need to go write a letter to Aurelia. I hope you enjoy your tea with Lady Brandbury, Mother.”
She escaped up to her bedchamber just in time, right before the first tear started to fall. She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the sound.
She never expected this charade to hurt so badly.
It sounded so good in the beginning: pretend to be courted by a duke in exchange for a way out of the downward spiral their family had been traveling for years.
Perhaps she allowed herself to enjoy the duke’s company a little too much.
Perhaps she had indulged her own fantasies about him more than was prudent.
But this was just a business arrangement. Perhaps Evan lusted after her the way she did after him, but that was the extent of it. If he had any sort of affection for her, he never would have abandoned her in the rain like that.
She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. She should never have expected a fairy tale ending to come from this arrangement, and he certainly never promised such a thing. All that mattered was that Aurelia get a proper Season and dowry to secure her future.
All she had to do was remember that and guard her heart for the rest of the Season. Hopefully, she could manage to protect it from breaking.