Chapter 20 #2
“You are not acting like her father,” Edith retorted. “You made her believe you didn’t want her in your life.”
“I did,” he whispered. “I said I didn’t need her. She should have never heard those words fall from my lips, out of anger or otherwise. I’ve hurt you both in unforgivable ways.”
Edith’s hands clench into fists at her sides.
“And to you… I called our intimacy a mistake. I denied you the love and care you so badly deserve. If you had said those things to me, it would have shattered me. I don’t deserve to be forgiven for my callousness.
I had no right to lie to your face. I do not believe that any of what we had was a mistake,” he continued, his tone now pleading and plaintive.
Edith cleared her throat. “This isn’t the first time you’ve hurt us,” she whispered.
His eyes found hers, and he could see the deep hurt and sadness in them. “I know,” he sighed.
“Am I expected to keep living through this cycle with you?”
“No one should be expected to do that.”
“You say that, and yet you keep doing this,” Edith snapped.
“You’re right.”
“You can’t just keep appearing only when it suits you,” she added.
The bitterness in her voice hurt more than he wanted to admit.
He stepped toward her, and she looked up at him. He was close enough to reach out and hold her, but it wouldn’t have been right. He wasn’t deserving of that honor.
“I don’t just want you both,” he said softly.
His mouth suddenly felt dry. He had to say this to her, even if his pride begged him not to. It would open him up to being hurt again. But perhaps Edith was worth the risk.
“I love you,” he whispered.
Edith looked stunned by his words.
He grimaced. He should have expected her reaction.
“I love you. I love Tilly. I cannot pretend that I don’t.
I should never have denied that. I honestly believed that I was protecting you both.
I thought if I pushed you away, I would spare you the hurt that came with my presence in your lives.
I didn’t understand that my absence would hurt far more. ”
“Protecting us?” Edith echoed, her voice rising.
“In the end, the only thing I protected was my pride. I am a foolish man who does not deserve you. I never have. If I had known the hurt those words would cause you, I would have never uttered them.”
She held his gaze and nodded slowly, but her expression didn’t soften.
“Words are not enough, Laurence,” she declared. “Tilly and I need more than platitudes.”
“I know,” he said.
Before she could respond, he dropped to one knee in front of her.
“Laurence?”
“I’ll prove myself,” he vowed, his eyes determined.
“I’ll do anything. Anything you ask. I’ll make amends with Tilly, I’ll host any charity event you want, I’ll fund every orphanage in London if you ask me to.
I’ll do that and anything else that will restore your trust in me.
Edith, I am not asking you to love me. Just… please… come home.”
Edith watched, her eyes wide with shock. She opened and closed her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out for several seconds.
“Do you know what you’re asking for?”
“I am looking for a life with you both,” he stated firmly. “The noise, the laughter, the chaos, the lemon drops, waking up with you, hearing Tilly calling me Papa. I want—no, I need it. I need you both more than I ever thought possible.”
Edith nodded slowly, looking away for a second.
He could see her considering his words. For a second, he caught a frown. His heart stalled at the thought that she might actually refuse his offer. But then, her face softened, and she looked back at him.
“You must mean every word of that,” she said softly. “I won’t forgive you if you hurt Tilly again.”
Laurence nodded. He slowly stood up again and reached for her hand. She unfolded her arms and placed one hand in his. He rubbed his thumb gently over the back of her hand, enjoying the feel of her skin against his.
“I promise,” he whispered, looking into her eyes. “I will work every day, for the rest of my life, to be a good husband and father. I will be the man my girls deserve.”
Edith chuckled softly as happy tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “My foolish Duke.”
Laurence smiled and gently cupped her cheek. “My patient Duchess.”
She smiled and hugged him tightly, and he squeezed her back.
It wasn’t until now that he realized just how much he’d missed how her body fit against his. How she smelled. Even how she breathed in his arms. She looked up at him, and he cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing away her tears.
“I am not expecting you to forgive me quickly,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“I do not want you to think I am rushing you,” he added.
“You worry too much.”
“One can hardly blame me after how foolishly I behaved,” he said.
She smiled and nodded.
His heart warmed as he saw her smile again. He would do anything to keep her smiling like that.
Slowly, in case she wanted to pull away, he leaned in to kiss her. Of course, she didn’t. Edith had never been the one to run away from their relationship.
Their lips met, and he was re-energized by the warmth he’d so desperately missed. She completed him, and he’d been a buffoon to ever think otherwise.
He sighed deeply and ran his hand through her soft hair as their kiss deepened. When they finally pulled apart, he couldn’t stop smiling.
“Your Grace?” a little voice called from the doorway.
Edith and Laurence turned to see Tilly, with Anthony and Luke standing protectively behind her.
“She wouldn’t stay in bed.” Luke shrugged.
Laurence shook his head and crouched down to Tilly’s eye level. “Tilly… you are so stubborn sometimes,” he chided softly.
Tilly’s eyes were glassy with tears. “Your Grace, are you… Do you…?” she trailed off, clearly unsure what to say.
“Tilly,” he said gently. “I am not angry at you. I was wrong to treat you so poorly. I have scared you, hurt you, and made you feel less than you are. Nobody should treat you that way, least of all your father.”
Tilly’s eyes widened. “Fa…”
“Yes.” Laurence nodded. “I might be a foolish man who gets angry too easily, and who has caused you and your mother much grief. But if you would have me back in your life, I want to try again. I want to be a father to you. I want us to be a real family.”
Tilly’s face crumpled as fat tears streamed down her cheeks. She sobbed and ran into his arms and held him tightly. He held her in return, kissing the top of her head.
“My poor girl,” he crooned. “I will never treat you that way again. I swear it.”
He held her tightly, letting her sob as much and as long as she needed. Edith also crouched down and wrapped her arms around them both.
He had his wife back. His daughter. His family.
He had almost lost them forever. He would never let them go again.