Chapter 23
MORRIGAN
This shouldn’t be so hard, Morrigan. He tortured you.
My mind continued to race into the next day as Malakai and I sparred together. While I felt confident in my decision, another part of me felt like a monster for even considering it. He was a horrible person, but would inflicting my own restitutions make me one, too?
“I wish I could hear your thoughts like Tristan can,” Malakai said, stepping back to take a break. “This is the hardest I’ve seen you swing that sword, spitfire.”
As he handed me a glass of water, I watched as Tristan approached us in the garden.
My teeth dug into my bottom lip, contemplating if I should tell him what I wanted to do.
Tristan was surrounded by death. He surely wouldn’t have brought Aamon here to simply end him immediately…
right? Or maybe he thought I would just want Malakai to tear him apart.
I looked to my right just as Malakai jogged over to him, a wide smile stretching across his face.
I could let Malakai do it. He’d probably enjoy it.
“Morrigan,” Tristan called to me.
On the other hand, why shouldn’t I get something in return? I harbored no sympathy for the man. He didn’t show me that courtesy each time he cut into my skin. Subconsciously, I lifted my hand to my shoulder where the tiny scars remained.
He is dead already…
“Okay. You’re taking a break.” Suddenly, Tristan stood in front of me, grabbing my hand and pulling me across the garden. “Come on.”
“Wait, where are we going?” I asked, doing my best to keep up with his pace.
“For a swim.” He brought me back to the cave, stopping beside a few of the larger rocks as he began pulling off his shirt. “You can leave your clothes on if you’d like, or I can turn around while you undress,” he offered.
I thought about it for a moment. It was so dark in here; he wouldn’t exactly see anything.
“Turn around,” I said finally, deciding to take off the shirt and pants, but leave on my undergarments.
Once he faced the entrance of the cave, I slipped off my clothing and slowly stepped into the warm water. It felt so amazing, a sigh slipped past my lips the moment my hips had fully submerged. Quickly, I waded through the silky water until it hovered just above my shoulders.
“You can turn around now!” I yelled out to Tristan.
As he began removing the rest of his clothing, I peered up at the ceiling, basking in the shimmering lights, and tried to picture the night sky above me. They moved in waves as they mirrored the rippling water around me, but it didn’t take away from the beauty of it. He made this.
He’s never even seen the stars… The thought actually saddened me. He had been stuck in this wasteland of a world for so many years, never breathing fresh air… never feeling the warmth of the sun.
The water around me shifted as he entered, and I turned just as he submerged his hips under the spring.
It was hard to hide the blush on my cheeks as I gazed at every perfectly sculpted inch of his body.
The markings must have been from Ryuk. Whether they were inherited at birth, or due to what Ryuk had done to him, they were eerily similar to Kaiden’s.
Had Ryuk gifted them to him as his prodigy?
“You’re staring,” Tristan teased.
Biting my lip, I turned my head away shyly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
All of a sudden, I felt him behind me and almost jumped when his hands touched my shoulders.
“What are you scared of, Morrigan?” he asked, brushing my hair back and exposing my skin to him.
He pressed his fingers into my shoulder, massaging it gently. It soothed the ache in my joints from training with Malakai, and I leaned my head back against his chest as I closed my eyes.
Eventually, after a few moments of silence, I said, “I don’t want Malakai to do it.”
“Alright. There are other ways to destroy a soul. I can give you the blade—”
“No,” I interrupted him. Warily, I turned to face him, and his hands remained on my shoulders as I looked up at him in the glistening water. Tiny specks of light shimmered along his cheeks, making his eyes glow even brighter. “I don’t want him to be gone… yet.”
He stared at me for what felt like an eternity before the realization seemed to flash across his eyes. With no hint of what he was feeling, he said, “Then, he won’t.”
My heart began fluttering nervously in my chest, either out of fear or something even worse… Excitement? Gods… Am I really this fucked up? “You don’t think that makes me a bad person?” I asked him. “You don’t think it will… change me?”
“It will.” He lifted a hand, gently caressing my cheek with a deeper intimacy in his touch. “Will it make you a bad person? Never, Morrigan. Your heart is too pure… too bright.”
“I have this anger inside of me, Tristan. On one hand, the old me would have said yes to just getting rid of him,” he pushed my curls away from my face, never taking his eyes off of me, “but there’s this darkness that keeps growing, demanding some kind of justice that I feel I’m owed.”
“If you want to know what I think you’re owed, it would involve everyone in your world burning for ever caging you to begin with.” His thumb slid across my cheek, pressing into my chin. “I think your gods would forgive the loss of a soul they already condemned for his crimes.”
“Would you?” I asked, my voice coming out in a thin, whispering breath. “Would you forgive me for what I want to do?”
With a torturous kind of ease, he lowered his lips until they hovered close to mine, barely touching my own.
“Morrigan,” he whispered, and I could feel his breath, making me part my own lips as my eyes closed.
“If you want him to hurt…” his hands found my hips, and I felt him pushing me until my back hit the edge of the cave; I sucked in a sharp breath as the jagged wall scratched against my skin, “I will hand you the fucking dagger myself.”
His lips crushed mine, and I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around his neck, returning his kiss.
He lifted me by my waist until my legs wrapped around him, and I opened my mouth as his tongue found mine.
His touch alone sent a shock of adrenaline throughout my body, sending my mind into a frenzy as our mouths fought for control.
He felt so good. Everything… His hands… His lips… His taste…
I pushed my hips against him, craving some kind of friction, and I could feel his length hardening beneath me. The tether pulled and knotted together as we tangled our bodies, driving my desire deeper than anything I had ever felt before. It wasn’t a want anymore; it was a need.
“My mind,” I whispered into his mouth, unable to get many words out as our lips clashed together. “You have my permission.”
I felt it this time, his power touching the edges of my mind. I didn’t bother with any of my walls. I let him slide in, and showed him what I wanted. Something about allowing Tristan to touch every part of me, mind and soul, seemed to enhance the heat that blazed in my core.
Are you sure? his voice whispered somewhere in the depths of my mind.
Yes, I thought, and instantly, he lifted me onto a nearby flat rock. He placed me down with my hips level with his, and didn’t break our kiss as he ran a hand up my thigh, sliding it until his thumb brushed just outside of my center. Please, I begged as his fingers teased at my skin.
No need to beg, Morrigan. Every part of me… my lips… my hands… They are yours.
The moment his fingers moved to where I wanted them, I gasped, and Tristan let go of my lips but he didn’t move away.
Instead, he shared my breath as his thumb traced circles over my sensitive nerves.
One of my hands found its way to his hair, gripping it tightly, and Tristan bit into my bottom lip, pulling it back with his teeth.
Yours. I’m yours. Even the voice in his mind sounded frantic—needy.
He slid a finger inside me as he continued pressing with his thumb, and my moan echoed against the hollow cave.
Mine, I thought, knowing I could speak if I wanted to now. But there was something about our secret conversation that thrilled me. No one could hear us. It was something I could keep for myself.
I’ve wanted to touch you from the second you barged into my room. And those dreams? Gods, Morrigan…
I pulled his face back to mine, kissing him again. I want to feel you, I told him.
Not yet.
He quickened the pace of his thumb, slipping another finger inside me, and I cried out this time. I hadn’t even touched myself in months. While it hurt at first, it was the sweetest sting I had ever felt. I needed him to fill me more. To hurt me more. I wanted all of his pain.
Can you come for me? I want to feel you tighten around my fingers. I want to know what you sound like when you come apart. Every little sound. I want it all, Morrigan.
Oh, Gods… I almost wanted to curse myself for not letting him do this sooner.
Forget those gods. His lips kissed across my cheek, down my jaw, and to my neck. I’m the only god whose name should be on your lips.
The second he bit down on my skin, I cried out his name, and my climax forced its way through me in a thunderous wave. My entire body began to heat, and I felt the energy flooding my veins.
“Look at you,” he whispered breathlessly.
He was still rubbing me through my orgasm, making my body convulse as I opened my eyes.
A bright light emanated between us. My veins were glowing so brightly that it made the stars disappear above us.
The black lines on Tristan’s face had receded as our light connected, two halves coming together. It was…
“Beautiful,” Tristan answered my thought. Then, he cupped my face with his hands. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Just as his lips moved to mine again, I heard the kicking of pebbles from the other side of the cave and jumped at the sound of someone entering.
“Am I interrupting something?” It was Malakai’s voice.
Oddly enough, I was relieved that it was him and not someone else. As I tried to cover my body a little, Tristan chuckled and wrapped his arms around me so Malakai wouldn’t see the transparent undergarments clinging to my skin. “Yes, Mal, you are!”
“I could always join—”
“Get out!” I snapped at him.
With a dramatic sigh, I could vaguely see him lean against a rock near the shallow water. Beside him, he set down the two robes he had in his hand. “I’m bored… and hungry. Do I get to eat the mind renderer now?”
I stiffened a little in Tristan’s hold, and he turned back to me, waiting for an answer. “I can come with you if you’d like. This is your choice, Morrigan.”
I allowed myself a couple more seconds to think before shaking my head. “I want to do this alone.”
He wasn’t bothered by my decision. He simply nodded and took a step back, allowing me to slip back into the water. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll have it prepared for you.”
I knew exactly what I planned to do. “I’ll need a table.”