Chapter 24
MORRIGAN
My chest threatened to tear apart as I walked down the spiral staircase.
I could almost hear Dez’s voice in my head saying, “This isn’t who you are, princess.
” And perhaps a couple of weeks ago, I would have listened to that voice—the one that used to steer me between right and wrong.
Nowadays, that voice faded to a far part in the back of my mind, shoved down just as Cain had locked me inside of that bird cage.
And while Cain wasn’t here… Aamon was.
I stopped before his cell, opening the barred doors and stepping inside. When he heard the sound of my feet padding across the stone floor, his head turned in my direction. He began to laugh, but I knew it was a nervous one.
“The princess has a dark side now, does she?” he asked tauntingly. “Please, you almost went crazy after killing Maeryn.”
“Perhaps I did go crazy, Aamon.”
His smile faltered a little as I reached the table. There, he lay flat against the hard stone, shackles attached to both wrists and ankles that held him spread out for me.
“Weeks in a cage, barely fed, only to be thrown into a cell without so much as a mattress to sleep on.”
The metal scraped as I removed the dagger off of a nearby tray that had been placed on top of another small table Malakai had left for me.
“I think anyone might go a little insane after all of that.” Slowly I pressed the tip of the knife into the stone, scratching the surface as I slid the dagger from beside his hip, up past his waist, and stopped at his chest. His body flinched a little in response, expecting me to touch his skin.
“A little jumpy there, Aamon?”
He let out another nervous chuckle. “There’s nothing you can do to me that’s worse than what your lover did.”
I paused, gripping the blade tighter, and stared into his emotionless eyes. “Kaiden killed you?”
“Quite brutally, in fact. But not until he got a nice, long look at your beautiful cage. Cain never bothered to remove the blood stains. I bet your lord sees it every time he closes his—” He released a scream, his body tensing and contorting as I dug the blade deep between his ribs.
Kaiden… I allowed the thought to form, letting out a quiet sigh of relief knowing that he did come for me. He would have found me…
“You talk far too much, Aamon,” I said quietly, removing the dagger and setting it to the side.
As I walked away, his chains rattled as he tossed and turned. “You think your lords will want you after this? Knowing you’ve been parading around with another man? When they see the monster you’ve become?”
“You see, you’re under the assumption that I still care about what people think of me.” I found the cloth that I was looking for and bunched it into my hand before moving to the end of the table. “Perhaps Cain dropped me from that cage one too many times and knocked a few screws loose.”
“I’ll bet you already gave that man your—”
Before he could finish, I shoved the cloth over his mouth, sliding it around his head, and tied it tight.
“As I said, you talk too much.”
He began struggling, trying to move the cloth down enough to speak, but it was too thick. I calmly grabbed the dagger that still had his blood on it, and was vaguely surprised. I don’t think I expected him to actually bleed since he was already dead.
When I reached his side, I leaned over his panicking body that had now begun to heave with frantic breaths. I lowered my lips to his ear and softly brushed the blonde locks away. “Shhh, don’t worry,” I hummed in the same way he had once said it to me. “I just want a taste.”
Then, I began to carve.
I had counted every single cut he made on me. I had proof still on my skin. Fifty. I had fifty cuts on my shoulders, little ones, but all still fresh enough that they could be seen if I removed my shirt. So, ten a day would suffice.
Aamon’s eyes shut tight as I pushed the dagger into his skin, dragging it toward me as I cut him. These were deeper… messier… and I bet they hurt like a bitch. But a switch had flipped inside of me, and the disgust I expected to feel with myself never surfaced.
“I’m sorry,” I laughed, removing the blade to find another area. “My carving is a little sloppy. Not nearly as practiced as yours, of course.”
When I pierced him again, he stiffened, his back arching as he pulled against the chains. Though his screams were muffled through the cloth, they brought so much satisfaction to my ears. It was like a high rushing through my head.
“You know, at some point, I had just given up. I think it was the… thirtieth cut?” I said to him, carefully maneuvering around his body to make more slashes. “I’m sure you’ll give up, too. Though, I might be disappointed if you make it past my record.”
After the tenth cut, I took a step back to examine my handiwork. Blood coated most of this chest as it rose up and down. His teeth clenched against the cloth so tightly that his jaw trembled from the tension. It was a sadistic work of art. Yeah… maybe just a couple of loose screws.
“That should do for today,” I sighed, placing the blade down and wiping off the blood. “Sleep well, Aamon!” I called over my shoulder, just as he began pulling at the chains and screaming again.
The absolute rush coursing through me had my hands vibrating. It shouldn’t have felt so good, and maybe I would look at myself differently in the mirror that night. But gods… I needed it.
I walked straight to my room, limbs trembling with energy.
When I closed the door, I wasn’t thinking as I pressed my back against it and slid my hand down my pants.
My fingers found my center, and I rubbed it through the adrenaline suffocating my body.
When I came, I didn’t know whether I should feel relief or disgust with myself.
Okay, yeah… Maybe a lot of screws came loose.
“How did it go?” Tristan asked casually as we sat together in the dining hall.
Mara and Malakai both spared a single glance our way, already knowing what Tristan was referencing. My mother kept her eyes on Azrael as he ate, but I didn’t sense any disappointment or judgment from her.
“It was… refreshing.” Now that the adrenaline had worn off, a strong hunger ached in my stomach. I quickly dug into the food, the taste somehow even more vibrant on my tongue after the events that unfolded that morning.
“Yeah,” Malakai laughed from his end of the table. “I’m always starved after I—”
Mara elbowed him in the ribs, stopping him from finishing his sentence. The one thing we had all agreed on was to keep Azrael out of this. He was too young to hear about it, and he had been through enough. Especially at the hands of people like Aamon.
“Still have energy for some training after lunch?” Tristan asked.
Then, I felt him wiping at something on my arm. I looked down to see him clearing away a couple droplets of dried blood that I had missed when bathing. My cheeks heated a little at his casual demeanor as he smiled down at me.
“We can do some fire wielding, and then you could get some sparring in with Malakai. You’re getting a lot better. It’s not good to rely solely on your fire to defend yourself every time.”
“Will it ever run out?” I asked, sipping my water. “Like, would I eventually need to ‘rest’ my power? Does your light ever get tired?” I started to laugh nervously. “I’m sorry, this is all still new to me. I don’t really know what I’m saying.”
Tristan’s smile grew wider, and he nodded his head.
“Yes. There will be times when that light dims, in a way. Only two things will help rejuvenate that power. For gifted mortals, they would need to rest until they’ve regained their strength.
You could rest as well, but since you have my light, a faster way would be blood sharing. ”
I spit the water out of my mouth, feeling a slight sense of déjà vu. “I thought only the lords needed to—”
“The lords do need to feed, but that was a little gift my mother gave them that mirrored the gods themselves. While gods don’t need blood, we can drink it.
It strengthens us and helps our light return faster.
” His hand slid beneath mine, and he tangled our fingers together.
“That’s why your bond requires that you both share blood together—as does the soul bond. It all falls back to their roots.”
“Then, why aren’t my bonds like the soul bond instead?” I asked curiously.
“You would need the power of a god to complete a soul bond; that’s why they no longer exist. Once the gods approved a soul bond, they would place a drop of their blood into a mixture of their own, letting their power complete the ritual.”
“Have you ever fed on someone?”
“Only when it was absolutely necessary. When I helped Malakai with the other lycan, it took a lot out of me. I’ve only fed from him before.
” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of my palm.
“But don’t worry about it. The amount of power it would take to drain you is a heavy one.
I don’t see that happening in the near future.
But if it does, I’ll be there to bring you back, Morrigan. ”