Chapter 15 #2
“When everything was spiraling beyond what I could handle, he didn’t believe me.
” I can’t help the detachment in my tone.
It’s been a long time since I’ve gone to this place in my mind, the one that protects me without judgment—the hidden garden I would seek solace in when I needed to still believe that someone, somewhere would care about me.
“I asked for help with Riley DeVane, and Austin shut the door in my face.” A sob catches in the back of my throat, and I wrestle it back down to my stomach. “I can’t even blame him. The only thing he asked of me was to stay out of trouble, and I just couldn’t do it.”
“What did you ask him to help you with?” Grey asks through gritted teeth.
“That’s not— Is Riley one of those DeVanes?” Braxton asks, and my neck crackles as I whip around to stare at him.
Those DeVanes? What’s that supposed to mean?
“Yes,” Grey answers cryptically. I open my mouth, but he continues before I can form words. “Continue your story, and then I’ll explain.”
The urge to gulp is strong, but my mouth is suddenly as dry as the Vegas desert.
“Um, well. So, I’d been with Riley for two years. He got us into clubs—”
“I bet he did.” Braxton spits the words as though they personally insulted him.
I frown in his direction, but he makes a rolling motion with his hand for me to continue.
“We got into clubs, but he also found ways for me to work in them when I needed money, even though I was obviously underage. But my parents would take off for weeks at a time, and I’d be left on my own with cans of soup if I was lucky or nothing at all if I wasn’t.
Looking back on it, I know the entire thing was wrong, but I was a dumb teenager, and Riley was this twenty-two-year-old with money and power who gave me the affection I’d never had.
He gave me experiences I longed for but could never afford. ”
“For fuck’s sake,” Grey mutters before taking my hand in his again. His thumb hovers over the pulse on my wrist, and I swear his lips twitch when my pulse begins to slow.
“When I was seventeen,” I say, staring at the floor again, “Paige’s parents found out I was dancing in one of Riley’s clubs to pay my living expenses and to save up for college, and they rightfully forbade her from going anywhere near me.
They always assumed anytime we got in trouble, it was my doing.
“Riley’s mom and Paige’s mom are best friends, and they had plans for their children that didn’t involve a kid who had to steal tampons or cereal, so they told them both to stay away from me or there would be consequences.
They didn’t know that Riley was obsessed with me or that Paige wanted freedom from her obsessively strict parents.
But…” My chin quivers as memories of a lost friendship assault my mind.
“But Riley wouldn’t give me up. Paige and I had made a pact to never leave the other person behind.
We were going to college together. We were going to experience life to its fullest and make sure that we both got everything we ever wanted.
We just had to get through high school first. So, when Riley would pick me up, she would sneak out and come too.
We looked out for each other always. Paige… Paige wasn’t like her family.”
Madi hands me some tissues and gestures toward my face. Jesus, Monroe. Get control of yourself.
Don’t react. Don’t show weakness. Run.
I’ve come this far, now I have to finish getting this story out. It’s been weighing on my heart for so long, it’s as though I can almost feel it lifting, and even though I don’t deserve the reprieve, I need it like the air I breathe.
I’ll take the repercussions of my actions as I always do. This time, it’ll just be a whole lot harder to rebrand myself because the loss of the family I built will leave me as a shell of who I could have been, of that I’m certain.
The air is thick, and all the eyes on me make my skin crawl, so I focus on my fingers instead.
“Riley was pissed off the night everything fell apart. He found out I was planning to go away to college. He picked me up and saw a stack of acceptance letters in my room, and he just…lost it.
“Paige wasn’t feeling well and didn’t even want to go out that night, but I sort of guilted her into coming.
When she saw Riley though, she was worried about getting in the car with him, but I was terrified of what would happen if I didn’t.
He—he could get so mad. I convinced her it would be fine, and we went with him to a party in one of the suites at the DeVane Casino, but it wasn’t like any party I’d ever been to. ”
The sickness in my stomach swirls and swishes hotter than lava, and I clutch it to ease the pain.
“The vibe was…off,” I say quietly as I recall the horror of that night.
“The girls walking around seemed scared.” The contents of the breakfast Grey made me eat want to stage a revolt, but I force them down.
“Paige knew something was wrong too and told me we had to get out of there. It sent Riley into another rage. I—I think he wanted me there to see whatever was happening to scare me into submission, and we didn’t know what to do.
When I finally convinced him that Paige’s parents were looking for us, he insisted on driving us to her house.
I didn’t know he’d already taken something. ”
Memories I’ve attempted to avoid fly across my vision in a sick highlight reel.
“Paige didn’t want to get in that car.” A painful hiccup rips through my chest. “R—Riley threw me in the passenger seat so hard my head hit the dashboard, and I saw stars.
I only remember him telling Paige she had one second to decide if she was getting in or not.
Everything was so blurry, but I remember Paige standing on the sidewalk with tears in her eyes.
“We didn’t leave each other for anything, but I couldn’t get my words to work. I wanted to tell her to run, but she—she got in the car. He drove too fast.”
The sounds of crunching metal and shattering glass reverberate through my memory as though it’s happening again in real time, and my body constricts, attempting the fetal position as though I have no control of my limbs.
“The next thing I know, I’m suspended in the air, the car crushed in on all sides. I couldn’t see or breathe. All I could smell was gas and blood.”
Madi sniffles beside me, but I can’t look at her.
“Then I woke up in the hospital. Paige’s parents told me they hoped I died in there for what I did to their daughter, and they would press charges if I ever attempted to see her again.”
“Jesus, Savvy. I’m so sorry.” Madi wraps both arms around me. Don’t get too close, Madi. I cause mayhem wherever I go. She squeezes tighter. Why would she hug me after what I just told her? After all the shit I did? The stealing, the lying, partying, the police, and the chaos I’ve created.
“That’s not the end of it though, is it?” Grey is scarily composed. “There’s an age span in those photos of you dancing at DeVane’s. What happened between the accident and some of those photos?”
Peeling Madi’s arms off me, I straighten my spine. This is one part of my story I will never be ashamed about.
“My brother’s now a police officer in Vegas.
He was the first one on the scene after the accident.
I told him and his partner…everything. But he—he was also best friends with Riley’s older brother.
Austin didn’t believe me, and the DeVanes and Ashfords spun stories so well that even I started to question my reality. ”
“Oh, Sav.” Sage has been quiet, but when his expression falls into a face full of compassion, I wish he weren’t here. He’s too young to be tainted by my past, but now that I’ve started, I just have to get it all out and then plan my escape.
For their safety, I have to run.
“Austin demanded that I recant my statement, though I don’t know if that was because he knew what those families would do to me or because he truly didn’t believe me.
I refused. I testified against Riley. His mother and Paige’s threatened to take everything away from me, no matter how long it took. ”
“How did you end up back in Vegas, Savvy?” Grey’s voice sounds as though he’s about to snap like a bungee cord pulled past its limits. “What did Ace have to do with this?”
Madi and Braxton watch me, their concern piercing my exposed wounds with a million tiny needles.
“Paige’s mom called me and said that Paige wanted to see me, and they were going to allow it just once so she could have closure, but when I got there, they gave me an ultimatum.”
“What did they do, Sav?” Madi is rubbing my back in slow, soothing motions. Almost as though she expects me to break out in a panic attack at any moment.
“They said I owed retribution for ruining both of their children’s lives.
I could either work off my debt in the Dove Cage—it’s their main attraction, and the girls who dance in the cages easily make thousands of dollars in one night.
I could do that to repay what they thought I owed them—or they would systematically take away my degree, my license in psychology, and my podcast. So I took the deal. ”
Madi’s gasp has me looking up from my hands. “That’s when you flew to Vegas with Ace.”
I nod but break eye contact with everyone. “I came to the Hideaway to tell you I was going home for a couple of weeks, and Ace was there. He said he had a meeting and was headed in that direction anyway, so he offered to fly me there. That was supposed to be the end of his help.”
A slow, sad smile creeps onto my face. “But nothing ever went to plan with Ace. He was always ten steps ahead of me. I had arranged to work in the cage again for what I thought was two weeks, and I’d only told Ace I was helping a friend out at a club.
“What I didn’t know was that Helena and Corrine were making their next play to ruin and humiliate me—that had always been their favorite method of punishment.”