Chapter 32
Blinding Lights – The Weeknd
Gunner
Icouldn’t remember the time I’d last had a whole weekend off, unless I was on vacation.
I’d always start with good intentions, but after a couple of hours I’d been restless and more than ready to get back to work.
This weekend, though, the first with Cassidy, I’d barely thought about work.
Apart from the meeting with Nate Jenkins, but that was more of a necessity than a desire.
No, all my desire was purely for Cassidy. Especially as our relationship had moved on a stage. I had no idea that sex could be like that. Something more than gratification. Something that made me feel like I was burning from the inside with the level of need that I had for her.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” Wilder asked as I closed the stable door on the rescued racehorse.
I turned to see my little brother wandering toward me, his usual confident swagger with his ball cap on instead of his Stetson. He wasn’t dressed for work, so I assumed he’d come from the house after showering.
“I’m guessing she’s at home getting ready for school tomorrow.
” That was where I’d left her, anyway. In her bed, sated, after another round of sex before I’d had to leave her.
I hadn’t wanted to, but she had chores to do and me staying would have meant being up at three to get back to the ranch for work.
I mean, I wasn’t averse to it, but I knew we wouldn’t get much sleep if I stayed over.
“So, she is your girlfriend then? Not just a fling?”
“No, she is not a damn fling,” I snapped, as I checked the bolts on the stable doors. “What are you doing out here, anyway?”
“Came to tell you that dinner is ready, and Bertie has questions for you.”
“What sort of questions?” As I walked past the other stables, I looked at all the bolts making sure everything was secure.
“About your and Cassidy’s sleepover. Whether Miss. Turner is going to be her aunt and why didn't you come home last night?”
I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn’t want to answer all the questions because I didn’t want my answers to jinx anything.
“Maybe I’ll eat dinner in the bunkhouse.”
“Don’t be a grump,” Wilder said with a laugh. “She’s just excited is all.” He nodded at the office. “How you feeling about tomorrow being Charlie’s last day?”
“Okay, I guess. I’m happy for her if it’s what she wants.”
“She’ll be a loss, though.”
“She will,” I sighed, because he was right. “I’m sure I’ll find someone.”
We started to walk in step with each other, our shoulders brushing as we slowly made our way back to the house.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, and I looked out toward the mountains, I felt content, happy.
A real bone deep happiness that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Maybe not since Mom died. Not the surface happiness that I got daily because I’d made progress with a difficult horse, or because Billy had said my name with a huge smile on his face, or because one of my brothers had made me laugh.
This happiness made me feel like I had everything I could want or need.
Like my heart was full and just getting fuller with every touch, every word, every kiss that I shared with Cassidy.
“You ever wonder where we’d be if Lily hadn’t come back to Silver Peaks, or if we hadn’t figured out what Dad was up to?” Wilder asked, moving my thoughts from goodness to bad.
“All the damn time,” I replied truthfully, painfully aware of how different things could have been. “Lily coming back was what fired Nash back to life. He may not have wanted to fight Dad so hard if he hadn’t found out what he did to Lily.”
“You ever thought of visiting him in prison?”
“Do you?” I asked in disbelief.
“God no,” he scoffed a little too quickly.
I placed a hand on his arm. “It’s okay if you do, Wild. He’s a rat bastard but he’s still our dad. It’s hard to let those kinds of feelings go.”
“It’s only because I want answers, you know.” He looked at me with a pleading expression, desperate for me to understand.
“Wild he’s been your only parent for most of your life. Of course, you want answers.”
“The biggest being why? How could he do that to his own kids?” He scratched the back of his neck and groaned quietly. “Like if I was a better kid would he have been different?”
The word I had for my father at that moment would not have been welcomed in church that was for sure.
How could he make this man, this kid, think him being a cheating, lying, thieving, son-of-a-bitch was his fault?
This generous, funny, often annoying little brother of mine should not be shouldering that responsibility.
“If you want to know why then maybe you should go and see him,” I said, placing a hand on Wilder’s shoulder.
“I bet he’d welcome it because I doubt he’s getting many other visitors.
But,” I sighed, “do not go there asking if you could have done something to change him. I’ve thought about this, and I’m damn sure Nash has, and the answer will always be no, Wild.
That man had everything including a beautiful wife and three boys who would have adored him had he been different, yet he was still trash, so do not ever think you were the reason for that man’s actions.
” As things were getting deep, a change of subject felt necessary and seeing Charlie through the window of the office gave me the perfect opportunity.
“On another note, you know the girl who brought the racehorse in?”
“The one you told me pretty much stole it?”
“That’s the one.” I chuckled, still admiring the girl’s balls. “Well, I’m thinking of asking her to take Charlie’s job.”
“Yeah? How do you know she’d be any good?”
“She’s been over a couple of times to see Dream Maker, the racehorse, so I used it as an opportunity to give her an impromptu, informal interview.”
“Does she know?” Wilder asked, laughing.
“No way. I can be subtle,” I joked. “But in all seriousness I think she’d be a good fit. Whenever she’s been here she asks a lot of questions. Ones that are pertinent and in depth, like she really knows what we’re trying to do here.”
“Sounds like she’s the one then. What’s her name again?”
“Tallulah Brown. Goes by Tally. She’s from Sweet Maple Falls originally but has been living and working for a couple of different race trainers in Kentucky for the last six years.”
“Kentucky! Wow, you sure she’ll want to come back to little Sundance County?”
“Says she’s ready because she misses home and her family.” I shrugged. “We’ll find out I guess if I offer her the job.”
“And Ruthie starts soon. Seems like you’re getting all the ladies.” He laughed and slapped my back. “You always were a lucky bastard.”
We’d reached the house, the warm glow of the porch light shining on the footpath leading up to the steps. It was home. This house. This land and I didn’t want to be anywhere else, especially if I could have Cassidy with me.
Before we could walk up the steps, my phone buzzed in my pocket and instinct told me it was Cassidy.
“I’ll be there in a few,” I told my brother. He saluted me and jogged up the steps leaving me to talk to my girl. “Hey, sweetheart, you okay?”
“Hi. I’m just calling to say goodnight. I’m going to have an early night with a book, so I wanted to call you now in case I fall asleep.” She chuckled. “Who am I kidding, of course I’ll fall asleep; you’ve worn me out.”
Smiling, I took a few paces from the house.
“I did warn you that I was going to fuck you stupid.” I adjusted my dick as I recalled all the sex we’d had over the last twenty four hours.
Hot, dirty sex, slow erotic sex, her on top, me on top, me behind.
We’d even thrown a reverse cowgirl in there just to keep the riding theme going.
“How’s that horse feeling between your legs? ”
“Big and beautiful,” she said almost on a moan before clearing her throat. “No, you’re not doing that to me.”
“What?” The laughter in my chest burst out, because I knew exactly how frustrated she was. I felt it, too.
“You know. Now, let me say goodnight and I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”
“Want me to come over and we can have dinner together?” Please say yes.
“I’d love that. I can make my famous Mac n Cheese with bacon, and if you’re lucky my cinnamon rolls.”
“Sounds perfect.” And it did. “Seven okay?”
“Great. See you then.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well.”
“You, too, honey.”
As she ended the call I thought about hopping in my truck and going over there, but she was right she needed sleep. Plus, I had some questions to answer for my niece. There really was no damn place like home that was for sure.