Chapter 35
Death by a Thousand Cuts – Taylor Swift
Cassidy
It had been a busy week, what with school, planning for the camp and sex with Gunner.
The latter being my total favorite part.
Nate Jenkins had messaged Nash to say he’d been delayed on his trip, which gave us a little more time to consider the stipulations to agreeing to not objecting to the development.
If we got the rest of the town onside. Which was why there was another town meeting about to start.
Cal, Mayor Taylor, was running it, but Nash, Gunner and I were on the stage ready to put forward our suggestions.
Lily was home with the kids while Wilder had gone to Bozeman for a couple of days to see another bull, because according to him, since the herd had grown poor old Gideon Pontipee’s huge balls were running on fumes.
Gunner had also told me that the bull was coming up for seven and so his fertility would soon start to decline.
“What will happen to him then?” I’d asked, a little alarmed.
He smirked at me and asked, “Do you really think Bertie would let us sell him for meat or euthanize him?” When I shook my head with a sigh of relief, he’d kissed my forehead. “He’ll be put out to pasture, just like we did with Digby, our last bull. He died fat and happy about eight years ago.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” I replied.
Gunner chuckled and said, “Sweetheart, if you’re going to spend more time on the ranch you’ll need to get used to the idea that we are a beef herd and we sell our cattle for meat. In the future that may include some of those calves you currently think are so cute.”
The thing that struck me about that comment was ‘in the future’ and butterflies swarmed my stomach at the idea that he was thinking of me in that way.
“There’s a good crowd,” Nash said, bringing me back to the present.
And there was. Maybe not quite as many as the first town meeting we’d had, but probably because we were without those in favor of the development.
“Let’s get going then,” Cal said, looking at each of us in turn. “You all ready?”
We each nodded and our mayor started everything off.
Everyone seemed to be happy with the stipulations we’d suggested that we put forward to Nate Jenkins.
They particularly liked Lily’s idea of a nature trail, especially if it meant that they could use it, too.
Nash was a little nervous about that because of people wandering onto ranch land and the dangers it would present if they came across the herd and spooked them.
He said he’d consider ways to make it secure so it could happen, though.
As for the state environmental review, everyone was behind it, so Cal said he’d start the process first thing in the morning.
“And you’re sure that if he agrees to regular environmental reports he’ll keep to it?” Willem Price, a local farmer, asked.
“We have to take him at his word,” Nash replied. “But it will be a legally binding document that we have drawn up.”
“A breach of any environmental regulation will bring penalties,” Cal added. “Fines, higher insurance premiums and so on, but as Nash said it will be a legally binding document that we present Jenkins Industries with, which in turn means prosecution could be an option.”
“What I’ve seen of Nate Jenkins, though,” Nash said, “is that firstly he’s a businessman who wants to succeed with a good reputation.
And, while I don’t know him well, at all, he strikes me as a decent man.
He listened to our concerns about the environment and already has processes to put in place, so I believe that he’ll keep to his word. ”
Willem nodded sagely. “Your faith in him is good enough for me, Nash.” He took his seat again and said something in the ear of Davy, his son.
“Can I ask a question please?” It was Margie Anderson, the mom of Bella, a girl in my class, with her hand in the air.
“Yes, Margie, please ask away.” Cal gave her a warm smile as she got to her feet.
“It’s for Miss. Turner.”
I blinked, surprised because I hadn’t been asked anything. Neither Gunner nor I had needed to because it was Nash who’d fielded most of the questions.
“Sure, Mrs. Anderson, how can I help?”
“Can you assure us that you’ll be staying at the school because it sounds like this camp is going to be a lot more than a summer camp.
” She looked around the room. “I mean I’m all for it but if we’re going to lose a good teacher because of it then I’m afraid I don’t want it.
You’ll be teaching my boy Drew next year and he’s excited because he’s good at math. ”
Math had been my major and I ran all the math camps and organized a yearly math contest, so I could understand why her boy might be looking forward to me teaching him.
“I have no intention of leaving the school,” I told her. “Yes, the camp will be educational, but it won’t warrant me being there full-time. The school is my priority.”
A chair scraped on the stage and when I looked to my left, I could see it was Gunner’s.
He’d shifted it forward a little and was sitting on the edge of it, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
He was staring out into the crowd, but from his profile I watched his Adam’s apple bob on a big swallow.
Margie’s smile told me she was appeased by my answer. “Thank you, that’s a big relief, Miss. Turner.”
As she sat back down, Cal closed the meeting and thanked everyone for coming and I heard Nash exhale.
“Not as bad as I expected,” he said, running a hand through his hair.
“Pretty enlightening,” Gunner added, his voice tight.
“Are you okay?” I murmured, leaning into him as Nash left to speak with someone at the edge of the stage.
“All good.”
The muscle pulsing along his jawline told a different story. His shoulders had gone rigid, spine straight as a fence post.
“I’ll walk you home,” he said abruptly, standing before I could press further. The conversation was over, at least for now.
My stomach turned because something was off with him, and I had no idea what.
“Nash, I’m walking Cassidy home. You okay waiting for a few?”
“Sure.” Nash waved a hand. “I need to talk to Cal about some water tanks, anyway. If they need to lock up here I’ll wait in my truck.”
Without saying anything else, Gunner took my hand and led me out of the hall. Once we were on the sidewalk I expected him to tell me what was troubling him, but he didn’t open his mouth.
We’d only gone half a block when I pulled him to a halt. “What’s wrong?”
His back was poker straight as he slowly turned his head. “Nothing. Not sure why you think there would be.”
His tone said otherwise. “I’m not stupid, Gunner.”
“I know that.” He started to walk again. “Maybe it’s just me.”
“What?” I tried to get him to stop again but he was too strong and too determined. “Gunner, what the hell is wrong.”
“I need to get back to Nash, we have an early start in the morning.”
It didn’t take us long to get to my apartment and when we did I expected him to leave me at the door. He didn’t but followed me up the stairs and inside.
“Are you going to tell me now why you’re being so frosty?” As I crossed my arms and leaned against the back of my sofa, something hit me, and nausea rolled through me. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“What? No.” He breathed out slowly through his nose, shoving his hands to his hips.
“Well, your body language says different.” I straightened ready for a fight, whatever that damn fight was going to be about.
He stared at me for a moment, tipping his chin up and taking a deep breath. “I thought we were on the same page here.”
I was confused. “About?”
“Us, Cassidy, about us.” His whole demeanor was cold, inflexible steel. Even his usually warm, soft eyes were hard, full of one emotion, anger.
Tilting my head to one side, I pursed my lips and tried to see something in his expression that would give me a clue.
After a few moments of silence, I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Gunner, but I’m lost here.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face, clearly frustrated. “You told everyone at that meeting that the school was your priority.”
“And it is,” I responded. “It’s my job. I’m paid to work there, so it has to be. I don’t see your point.”
“I thought the camp was something we were both committed to. The school being your priority doesn’t scream that to me.
” He paced toward the door, and I thought he was going to leave, but as soon as he reached it he turned back to face me.
“I thought you were going to teach at the camp. We discussed it.”
I desperately tried to think about a conversation where I’d agreed to teach at the camp and remembered what he’d said: “Cassidy, if this becomes as big as we want it to be we’re going to need as much help as possible. I know you love teaching but maybe one day you could teach here.”
“You mentioned it would be an option maybe one day, but it was never agreed. I thought it was just an idea.”
“You thanked me, Cassidy. For involving you and believing in you.”
My lungs felt tight as I took a step to him. “And I am grateful, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to end my career to teach full-time at the camp.”
“And why not?” he cried, throwing his hands into the air. “And in any case it wouldn’t be ending your career, you’d be just taking a different path.”
“But what if the camp doesn’t work?” A lump rose in my throat, making it difficult to speak.
“Who the hell said it wouldn’t work?” he yelled.
“No one, but what with the development and—”
“So, you’re surrendering to Jenkins now are you?”
I threw my hands in the air. “This is ridiculous. You won’t listen to a word I’m saying.”
“Really,” he scoffed. “Maybe my ears are blocked with bullshit.”
“God,” I muttered. “You’re such a pain in the ass.”
He rolled his eyes. “Welcome to my world.”
“If I’m such a pain in the ass then maybe the camp is the least of your worries.”
“What?” he leaned his body closer, cupping his ear.
“I think you know what I’m getting at.”
His nostrils flared. “Not sure that I do.”
“What if I give up my job at the school and the camp doesn’t work? W-what if we don’t work?”
Silence fell with a thud, like a concrete block falling to the floor and I instantly saw the hurt in Gunner’s eyes.
“Gunner, I—”
“And there it is,” he snapped. “Well, thanks for the belief in the camp and in me, Cassidy.” He turned away and pulled the door open. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”
Then he was gone, and I immediately felt sick because what if I’d just rushed us to the ending that we might never have had.