Chapter 21
21
It was the last night before we were to head back to Biringan City. I’d already sent a messenger ahead of us to relay news about my and Qian’s engagement so Elias could make preparations. Already I could imagine my mom’s reaction to finding out I was going to get married. I wished I’d had more time to prepare her for the news, but it was almost the full moon. I still needed to make sure that I wouldn’t hurt anyone when I turned into the manananggal tonight.
Nix fastened the iron locks on my wrists and tugged on the chain, making sure it was secure. My lips still tingled with Qian’s kisses. During the celebration all afternoon, we couldn’t keep our lips off each other. His touch was electric, making my body feel like it was buzzing. But the sun was already starting to set, and my eyes were growing heavy. I’d had to excuse myself before the worst happened.
“Are you sure you’re going to transform tonight?” Amador asked from her spot on the lounge.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You and Qian kissed. True love’s kiss can break curses, right?”
“According to Yara’s diary, it wasn’t enough. I need to be married. A vow. That’s why the wedding needs to happen as soon as we return to Biringan.” Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the idea that I was going to be wed in a couple days’ time. I never thought something like that would happen to me, especially not with Qian. It felt like my whole future had shifted drastically over the course of this past week.
“It will definitely get people talking,” Amador said. “People will start to speculate what the rush is for.”
I knew what she was getting at. Why else would a royal couple hurry to be married if there wasn’t a young royal on the way? “I don’t have time to care about any of that.” My wrists already ached from the iron cuffs, but I had no room for complaint. This was the only way I could keep people safe. The ring on my finger and the manacles around my wrists.
I wouldn’t have gotten this far without Nix’s or Amador’s help.
Now that the excitement of the day was over, a thought was still nagging at me. “Are you two…” I didn’t know how else to put it. “Are you two together?”
They glanced at each other, and before either of them could answer, I said, “I’m not disapproving. I just want to know.”
They stood stiffly, subconsciously mirroring each other, and it actually made me smile. They were waiting for what the other was going to say, and for a moment, I thought maybe I had been reading into things, but Nix turned to me and nodded.
“When did that happen?”
“Since school let out,” Nix said.
Amador’s face was bright red, but she didn’t move to hide it. She was standing like a deer frozen in headlights. But when Nix caught her eye, her shoulders relaxed, like she remembered to breathe. “I sprained my ankle trying on some new wedding shoes, and Nix healed me,” she said.
“We started talking more and more, and we just…” Nix shrugged. What more could be said?
Amador deflated a little. “My parents don’t know, though…I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to tell them.”
Nix asked me, “You’re not mad at us? For keeping it a secret?”
“No way,” I said. “I’m honestly more surprised that I didn’t figure it out sooner. I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied with my own problems.”
“You’re turning into a manananggal,” said Amador. “I think you get a free pass.”
“A lot of things have changed. So quickly,” Nix said. She handed me a bottle of sleeping potion, and I drank it. It would keep the worst of my transformation at bay. “And I know Qian is my brother, but I truly believe he’s a good match for you,” Nix said when she took the empty vial from me. “I just wish all of us were able to be with the ones we want.”
Amador nodded solemnly.
“I do want to be with Qian, though,” I said. “I really do.”
Nervously, I used my thumb to spin the ring around on my finger. It was too loose. My insides churned, and I thought about my future. This was the best choice for my country, for my people. And I had a real chance at being happy. Nix was right: Qian and I were a good match. But he would never need to know that it was because I didn’t want to turn into a monster forever. Maybe someday I would tell him; maybe I wouldn’t. I didn’t want him to think that my proposal was purely for selfish reasons, but it was, wasn’t it? The reason why we were getting married was both to keep myself human and to keep Nix by my side. It felt horrible, knowing that I really was as selfish as I feared. Perhaps I didn’t deserve a happily ever after.
But Nix could have one. She could live in Biringan City and be free. I could give her that.
“The tournament will be fun, at least,” Amador said. “Lucas will win for sure.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” said Nix. “He’ll be up against Heng. From what I hear, he’s unbeatable. He’s famous in Jade Mountain for his skill in the ring.”
“Lucas is unbeatable, too,” I said.
“He’s never lost a fight,” added Amador.
I knew I shouldn’t take sides, but it would be nice for Lucas to win in my honor. At least I’d be able to see him more, especially before my wedding. Any more time I could spend with him was worth it.
For once, even though I knew I was going to turn into a monster tonight, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could look forward to nights after this without worrying about what I would become.
I wanted to believe this was a step in the right direction toward a brighter future for everyone. But that was the last thought I had before darkness overcame me.
That night when I dreamt, I was flying again. Soaring across the treetops. The chains dangled at my wrists. I was stronger than ever, stretching my wings so wide, it felt like I could eclipse the sky. I was starving, but all I could find was a wild pig. Its screams sounded so human as I tore it apart.