Chapter 24
24
When I AWOKE, my eyelids were still so heavy, I couldn’t open them. I heard the sound of a fire crackling, and at first, I was confused about what had happened. Then everything came rushing back. I still tasted the blood in my mouth, remembered how it felt when my teeth pierced skin, how my claws ripped flesh. My heart jolted, and I tried to open my eyes, but every inch of me felt like it had a ten-ton weight on it.
The air was full of incense and almost chewable. It burned my lungs. I moved my hand and felt a cold shackle on my wrist. My manacles. I was chained to my bed. The iron cuffs were so tight, my fingers were numb.
A hand slipped into mine, gentle but callused, and I forced myself to open my eyes.
His face came into focus slowly, but I would recognize the shape of him anywhere.
“Lucas…” I cried. My lips were cracked, and my tongue was dry.
“I’m here,” he said. He was sitting at my bedside; his hand was warm against my cold skin. He brushed his thumb over my knuckles, grounding me with his touch, and tears blurred my vision.
I turned away so he couldn’t see my face. I knew I had changed back to normal, but I was afraid he’d see me for what I really was—the thing deep down. I held a sob tight in my chest, but it hurt. My fangs remained. Maybe I could never go back to normal again.
Lucas reached out and turned my face to his, and he kept his hand against my cheek. His thumb brushed a fallen tear away, and he looked at me so deeply, it was like he was seeing me for what I really was.
“All those people…” I said.
“No one was killed.”
“Even Heng?”
“He lost a lot of blood, but he’ll be fine.”
Something like relief worked its way through me, but the guilt remained. I’d still hurt people; I’d still caused all this.
“MJ,” Lucas said again. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not! I’m a monster!”
Lucas pressed his full lips into a flat line, stopping just short of frowning at me, when the door behind him burst open. He whipped around, startled, to find Qian, looking furious, marching in, followed by Elias.
“—can’t barge in like this,” Elias was halfway through saying. “I will call the guards in here at once.”
Heng, walking behind them, was still pale and held his arms gingerly so as not to disturb his shoulders. At least he was alive.
“I will go where I please,” Qian spat. “Especially when my fiancée is keeping secrets from me.”
When Qian’s eyes landed on me, the stony determination hardening his jaw tightened. His brows narrowed, and unbridled contempt turned his handsome face into a sneer.
“You,” Qian growled.
I held out a hand, pleading. “Qian! I—I’m sorry—”
“What are you?” he hissed. He could barely contain his rage.
Elias moved to step between us, but Lucas got there first. He pressed a hand on Qian’s chest and pushed him back. “Calm down. Can’t you tell she’s cursed?”
“That is no curse,” Qian said, pointing a finger at me. “That is a demon. An aswang of the lowest depths.”
The horrible truth was that I didn’t think he was wrong. I had done all those terrible things—no one else. It was all my fault, and I deserved to be feared. I deserved to be hated.
“She’s not an aswang. And you tried to kill her,” Lucas said.
“If you hadn’t interfered, we could have rid the kingdom of this threat. She nearly killed ten people in the arena, including me.”
“But she didn’t,” Lucas said, his words forceful. “She was provoked.”
“It doesn’t matter if she was provoked. She deserves to be put down, for the sake and safety of everyone in this kingdom.”
My stomach plummeted.
“If you try to touch her, I will not hesitate to put you down first,” Lucas said. The fire in his eyes burned so hot, I believed him. “And I won’t miss like you did.” Qian must have believed him, too, because his glare turned equally blazing. That comment must have hurt. Lucas knew how to get under Qian’s skin.
“Gentlemen, violence is not necessary!” Elias barked, but Qian and Lucas were inches from each other’s faces.
“Your queen tried to kill my top general,” Qian said to Lucas, ignoring Elias entirely. “And if the guards hadn’t arrived, she might have tried to kill you, too.”
I found my voice, even though it was small and thick with tears. “Heng cheated,” I said. “I couldn’t stand by and watch that.”
“So cheating deserves a death sentence?” Qian asked, turning his eyes on me. Rage had contorted his face. I hardly recognized him. “So this is the so-called safe place my sister has been living in these past few months? Kept hostage by a demon?” The muscle in his jaw jumped while he looked at me. I wondered if all he saw was the bloodthirsty monster I was turning into or if he saw a person who was as ugly on the inside as she was on the outside.
Elias, always reasonable, tried to regain control of the situation. “If I may, sir, I assure you the queen has posed no threat to Nix.”
“No threat? She is a monster. She’s been feeding for days, killing indiscriminately.” He rounded on me again, accusation making his words sharp. “It was you at the great house, wasn’t it? The rumors of the monster flying around? It wasn’t the wakwak?”
I couldn’t meet his gaze. Shame kept me silent.
“How long did you think you could keep this up? How long did you think I wouldn’t notice what you really were?”
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I cried. “I’m so sorry. Please. All I need to do is marry you to break the curse.”
Qian looked stunned, like he couldn’t understand why I would even make such a suggestion. “This isn’t a curse. You are.”
I didn’t want to believe that, but a part of me did. Maybe the world would be better off without me. Wasn’t I just as horrible as the thing that had killed his brother? Wasn’t I just as evil?
Lucas put his hand on Qian’s chest again. “Go outside and get some air,” he said, pushing him back. “You’re not helping.”
“Gentlemen—” Elias began.
“You know what would help? Putting a silver blade through her heart,” Qian said.
No one had time to move. He signaled to Heng so quickly, I didn’t have time to process.
Heng drew his knife and rushed me, but Lucas was ready. He stepped in front of me, grabbed Heng’s arm, and twisted. There was a horrible crack, and Heng screamed as Lucas broke his arm. Heng dropped the knife, and Lucas caught it. In one fluid motion, he slashed it across Qian’s face.
Qian spun around, hand on his cheek, and howled. When he turned back to us, his face pale, there was a long cut on his cheek where Lucas had sliced him. Qian looked at the blood on his hand and then at Lucas, stunned.
No one that wasn’t a monster had ever dared touch him.
“Lucas!” Elias shouted, appalled.
Heng fell to his knees, gasping with pain. He clutched his broken arm to his chest.
“Touch her and you’re dead,” Lucas said to Qian, still brandishing Heng’s knife, fingers flexing on the hilt, ready for another round. “That was a warning. Don’t make this worse.”
“You spilled blood shared by the Jade Emperor,” Qian said. “This means war.”
Lucas didn’t step aside. He was going to defend me with his last breath.
Qian sneered at Lucas, and then his gaze latched on to mine. “And to think I almost married you.”
My last hope was slipping through my fingers. Without a wedding, I would be a monster forever. I wanted to plead with him to stay, but I knew I’d lost him.
“We’re finished here,” Qian said. And with that, he and Heng left.
“What have you done?” Elias stood, stunned, staring at the both of us. The reality of what just happened finally sank in.