Chapter 24 Ian #2
She makes everything better and I know she wants to stay with me. Her head might tell her no, but her heart is all over that yes, and I unabashedly take advantage of that knowledge.
“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” I say to sweeten the deal.
“No, forget it. If I stay, I take that. I love it.”
Something unpleasant strikes my chest. What about loving me? Good god, I can’t be jealous of my sofa, can I?
“Fine,” I say, giving in.
I had a day straight from hell.
After I finish the crispy salad, I rinse the plates and put them in the dishwasher.
Moving to the living room, I slump on the sofa, holding my face between my hands, looking out into space.
“Ian?” she asks softly.
“Hmm?” I lift my chin and our eyes lock, my longing reflected in hers.
She settles herself between my legs and cups my cheeks. “What is it?”
I gulp through the knot of nerves, pursing my lips.
Her green eyes bore into mine. “I know there’s more.”
I shrug, but don’t downplay it. “It was a rough day.”
She tilts her head, studying my face. “Is it because of my father? Was he mad you were late?”
That’s an understatement. I shake my head, not wanting to lie, but that’s between me and Coach. I really don’t want to add more distress to our fragile situation.
“I can talk with him and tell him it was my fault.” She offers in a meek voice. “I’m causing you trouble.”
I drag her down to my lap and dig my fingers into her waist. How I’d love to lose myself in her and forget everything but the feel of her in my arms as I fill her up and we become one.
“No.”
“Stubborn,” she sighs. “Fine, let’s play a video game.”
Her suggestion draws a smile on my face, and I bend slightly forward to pick up the two gaming controllers. She takes the seat next to me, our arms and thighs brushing.
I can’t focus for shit at her nearness. No wonder she succeeds in killing me several times. But her joy is contagious.
With her, time has a nasty habit of flying away. Or maybe it’s my desperation to experience more moments with her, wanting to hold on to us.
When she stifles another yawn, I shut off the game.
The streetlights reflect in the window, being the only source of light.
I stand up, going to the bedroom. She’s right behind me as I hand her a sheet, a pillow, and a blanket.
I will sleep like shit knowing she’s on the sofa when this stubborn woman of mine should be in my bed.
I help her ready the sofa for bed, and she snuggles herself in it, saying, “You should give this sofa more credit. It’s so soft. It’s definitely better than my bed.”
“If you say so. Good night, Lilly.”
I force my legs to move. Leaving her is pure torture.
“Good night, Ian.”
In bed, I hear her tossing and turning, accompanied by her small puffs of air. Maybe it’s not as comfortable as she wants me to believe.
I am about to suggest we switch places when she asks in an almost inaudible voice, “Are you asleep?”
“No. Can’t sleep.”
“What are you thinking about?”
Crossing my arms behind my neck, I stare at the ceiling. “Do you really want to hear that?”
“We could go back to pretending tomorrow.”
I groan at the word pretending, but it’s the truth. That’s what we do—expert pretenders.
“I kind of hate your dad.”
She gasps. “Ian, I’m sorry.”
“Here’s my truth. I’m thinking about retiring from football after this season to have what I want most.”
Beats of silence pass, deafening me. The ball is in her court and anticipation shoves tiredness even further away, causing my heartbeats to trip over.
“You’d do that?”
“You have no idea the lengths I would go to have you,” I say earnestly.
Another beat of silence follows, but I don’t take my words back.
“Ian?”
“Hmm?”
“What do you imagine your life to be in the next five years?”
I don’t even have to think about my answer as if my brain decided it long ago.
“Marrying you and having at least a kid.”
A peal of laughter reaches my ears. “That was quick.”
“I know what I want. What about you?”
There’s another pause that turns me into a nervous wreck. The anticipation is killing me. Nothing and no one has the same power over me as her.
“Imagining what it would be like to be a football player’s wife and carry his children.”
I smirk. “And?”
“It sounds dreamy.”
“If we keep talking about that, I’m getting you in my bed,” I groan, wanting to start already going through my life plan.
She giggles. “No. Hush. Let’s go to bed.”
As if I can sleep now after our talk.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to find sleep—in vain. It’s my time to toss and turn in bed.
“I can hear you not sleeping.”
I opt for sincerity once again. “I sleep like shit when you’re not next to me.”
“How’s your arm?” she asks, worry laced in her voice.
“It hurts a bit.”
I open my eyes when I hear her footsteps approaching.
She takes the spot next to me. “I can’t sleep either.”
I lift the thin blanket for her to get under it. It’s an invitation. She glances at me, then back at the door.
“Fine. Ugh, we’re hopeless, aren’t we?”
Hopelessly in love, I guess.
Cuddled to my side, her fingers trace along my throwing arm. She kneads the muscles, and I let out a satisfied groan. “You don’t have to do that.”
Her touch weaves magic and the slight discomfort fades away.
“Yes, it must be awful having my hands on you.”
I chuckle and let the ease spread through me.
“The night is not over, so here’s another confession. You, Lilly, are going to be my wife.”
A smile teases her lips. “Am I? Shouldn’t I be your girlfriend first?”
“We move at snail’s speed as it is, and we have some obstacles to overcome. You’re going to go from girlfriend to fiancée to my wife in a very short time,” I say earnestly to prepare her.
Her melodious laughter is the sweetest sound, divine music that’s for my ears only.
She places her cheek on my chest, saying, “It sounds like a dream.”
“Me being where I am today sounded like a dream too at one moment.”
She tilts her head, chewing on her lip. “Would you be that patient?”
Eyes locked, I brush my nose against hers. “Would you be willing to be mine? Because that’s all that matters. I know what I want.”
Mouths so close, we breathe each other in.
“It’s not that easy, and I am not talking about us together. I’m not sure if I could handle the distance. I have my business. I’d have to follow you.”
That’s another obstacle. I could never ask her to do that, but at some point, the decision will have to be made. I have years before I can retire. Her company has just started taking off. What could I offer to compete with that?