Chapter 5
FIVE
LOURDES
Twenty-one years old
Stupid holiday party.
I had the perfect outfit picked out months ago—a cute little dress Clove and I found when we went to Paris in the spring. Now, I was second-guessing myself, all thanks to my grandfather.
“Lou, honey, you need to hurry up. Our car will be here in an hour.” Martin snapped his fingers at me.
All I could do was smile at him. We loved each other, but none of us ever went too deep into the bullshit our families put us through. Same shit, just a different family. Since Martin, Clove, and I were the single ones, we still got ready together for the events we attended. Plus, it helped that Martin was a fantastic stylist.
“Did Evangeline say what time she’ll be there? I haven’t seen her in months,” Clove commented.
“No, she warned me to tell you guys to be nice to her husband.”
Clove gasped. “It’s not my fault he can’t take a joke!”
“You insinuated an orgy with all of us. The man is very religious. He probably thinks we are all here fucking each other.”
Martin gagged at the idea of fucking women, I was sure, and not because he didn’t like us.
“Fine, I’ll try,” Clove muttered.
Evangeline had been promised to her fiancé since our senior year of high school. Her parents still believed in an arranged marriage. It was the best way to protect their assets, especially since Evangeline was their only child.
“I hope your sexy brother brings his friends,” Martin sighed dreamily.
As if I needed another reminder that the asshole would be there. I had barely left last night’s dinner in one piece.
After we moved things to the dining room, Neo became chatty. It was odd, but I was grateful because it prevented my grandfather or Pricilla from jabbing at me. Neo was smooth and kept the conversation light. They mostly talked about Wall Street and company ventures that Priscilla smugly reminded me I didn’t know anything about. I smiled and replied that I didn’t need to know about them since I still had shares.
She had amassed herself money, but nothing compared to what my trust fund entailed. Her late husband didn’t leave her much, and Neo got nowhere near enough as his two siblings did.
In the end, I settled on a black long-sleeved velvet dress with a square neckline and a slit on the side. The mermaid gown I had gotten in Paris sat in the back of my closet.
“What happened to the other dress?” Clove asked as I returned with my gown on.
“It was too tight,” I muttered.
Both of them gave me a sad smile, which I knew was most likely due to my body insecurities or something Pricilla said. There was nothing wrong with the dress I was currently wearing; it was beautiful, but it was in my comfort zone. Just when I wanted to wear something a bit bolder and daring, I lost my confidence.
Despite yesterday’s dinner, I was having a good time at the party. The place was crawling with people, so I had yet to run into Pricilla and my father. My grandfather was off somewhere reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and I doubt he would care if he saw me.
While Clove caught up with Evangeline, Martin and I were at the bar.
“You gotta go say hi,” Martin told me as he nudged my shoulder.
“Say hi to who?” I asked as I sipped my drink.
“Your brother. He’s my wet dream.”
I almost choked on my drink.
“Satan’s kid is not my brother,” I spat. “And he’s a dick.”
Martin would call me a liar if I were to call Neo ugly. There was no denying the bastard was hot.
“If you say so. I’ve heard nothing but good things about him.”
“Lucky you,” I told him as I downed my drink so that I could ask for another before we went back with the others.
“We have to stop meeting like this.”
The dark timber of the man next to me made me smile.
“Hello, Wesley.” I turned my profile so I could face him. I tipped my drink toward him as I did, but he wasn’t having any of that. Instead, he opened his arm, pulled me toward his muscular chest, and hugged me.
Well, this was new.
“So, it’s true what they say… The prettiest girls are always at the bar.”
He caught me off guard, and I just hoped my smile looked confident and flirty. I discreetly looked around and noticed I was the only woman at the bar. Since everyone else had class, they drank champagne from the flutes the waiters were passing around or had their dates come to get them a drink.
“Aren’t you charming?”
He winked at me.
“Hey, just calling it like I see it.”
Before I could respond, Martin had enough of being on the sidelines.
“Who do we have here?” he asked, even though he knew damn well who I was talking to.
Wes looked down at me and then at Martin. The thing about Martin was that even though he was extremely handsome and really put together, he wasn’t flamboyant. He had a beard that was always groomed. Eyebrows that would make most women envious, and as of recently, he added some highlights to his hair.
Unless your gaydar were off the charts, you’d just think he was very, very vain. Because Daddy controls his money, he can’t go out and “embarrass” the family.
“Wesley, this is my friend, Martin. Martin, this is Wes. He is one of Neo’s friends.”
Even though I didn’t want to say the asshole's name, it seemed appropriate to throw it in there.
“Sooo you’re friends with big brother,” Martin repeated after me.
“I’m offended, Lou. I thought we were friends too?”
Since he was still holding on to me, I patted his chest, and man, was it firm. “A few holidays a year, friends do not make.”
“Well, don’t we look cozy?”
The three of us turned toward the newcomer. My lip curled in annoyance upon seeing Tatum. Martin’s eyes gleamed, but he wasn’t looking at Tatum. When I followed his eyesight, I took a step back, but it only pushed me closer to Wes since he shifted at that exact moment.
His dark eyes raked over me dismissively, then turned to Wes. I felt his gaze slide down my body until it landed on the side of my hip, where Wes rested his hand.
Neo wasn’t alone. Next to him was a tall, slim, leggy blonde. And I knew she was leggy because she wore a red A-line minidress with barely-there straps and underwire cups to frame her chest. The dress was amazing, and she pulled it off because she was slender; on me, it would look like I was practically naked.
“I don’t get a hug?” Tatum asked as he opened his arms.
Eww. You know that feeling you got when guys pictured you naked? Yeah, Tatum always gave me that feeling. He didn’t see me as a person but as some sexual being, and it was disgusting.
“Drunk again, little sister?” Neo bit out. “I’m starting to worry you might have a problem.”
“Really?” I snapped back. “You got that from the three times we see each other a year?”
“And every time you’re one drink away from being drunk.” His voice dripped with disdain.
“How else am I supposed to tolerate your presence?”
Before he could say anything, Martin laughed.
“You two do fight like siblings.”
Both Neo and I glared at him. Any other time I would defend him, but at the moment, he was on my shit list too.
“Quite a relationship you both have,” Neo’s date added.
“Some of us weren’t taught manners,” I tutted. Then I stretched my hand toward Neo’s date, determined to be the bigger person. “Hi, I’m Lourdes, I love your dress.”
“Thank you,” she beamed as she slid her hand down the side Neo was holding on to her. “I got lucky. This particular designer doesn’t carry above a six.”
Was that a jab at me?
“Enjoy the party. I’m going to go back to my guest,” I smiled back at the bitch even though I didn’t want to. I stepped away from Wes, intent on going back to where Clove and Evangeline were, but before I could make it past their little group, Tatum pulled me to his side.
When Wes did it, I felt comfortable. We were friendlier. With Tatum, it just felt wrong.
“Can I help you?” I bit out because the last thing I wanted was to cause a scene and disappoint my family.
“How come you never hang out with us?”
“Would you be so kind to let me go?”
Tatum did no such thing. His hand holding my shoulder toward him slid down my side until it rested dangerously low on my waist.
“Aw, don’t be like that, Lou. You know you want me.”
That was news to me.
“You got that from the five times I barely wanted to talk to you?” I deadpanned.
Tatum’s eyes flashed—it was probably from humiliation. Lord knows men had fragile egos.
“Tatum,” Neo bit out.
The tension was getting higher. Martin looked uncomfortable, but he was too nice to help me tell them to fuck off.
“Come on, Tate, back off,” Wes told him harshly.
Neo turned toward Wes and glared. Seriously, what the hell was his problem?
Two women who approached us diffused the situation. There had been moments when I felt like I didn’t belong, but the women walking toward us did not belong in this room. Now, their dresses were the kind that was short, stretchy, and tacky.
They stopped walking when they reached our little huddle. Their eyes turned from Tatum to me. One of them smiled at Wes as she took a step closer to him. The other one gave me a nasty look.
Tatum practically pushed me away at that point. All I could do was glare at the fucker.
“It was just a fucking joke, Lou. Why would I want you when I have something better?”
Even though I knew I shouldn’t get worked up about someone like Tatum, I still felt humiliated. Seeing both girls smirk at me made it worse.
“You never did have any class, Tate.” I shrugged him off and began to walk away.
As I did so, my stupid traitorous eyes wanted one last look at Neo. He looked pissed. He was grinding his jaw. His hold on his date was firm, almost possessively, and something about it had my stomach in knots.
I’ve never had anyone want me with that kind of intensity…hell, I don’t think anyone has ever wanted me at all. I shook my head and kept walking. A few seconds later, Martin was right on my heels.
“That was intense,” he voiced aloud the obvious.
“They’re dicks,” I spat.
“Neo’s not so bad.” He had the nerve to defend him.
I stopped walking so I could look Martin in the face. “Were you not there?”
“Yes, and you left before you could see him kick Tatum and his little groupies out.”
My anger lessened just a fraction.
“What?”
Martin didn’t speak. Instead, he pointed to where Neo, his date, and Wes stood by the bar and watched as Tatum walked out with the two women.
I had to hold my tongue before I let my thoughts get the best of me.
“He didn’t do that for me. He did it for his image. Grandfather would have a fit if he saw those two girls at his party.”
Martin didn’t seem convinced. Instead of following him back with the others, I opened the door that led to an empty corridor. It was too cold to go outside without a jacket, but I needed a breather.
I needed somewhere safe where there wouldn’t be any prying eyes. The hallways had the light muted, and the noise from the ballroom didn’t transfer over. The soundproofing worked a little too well because, in those silent moments, your demons would scream the loudest.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I wondered if there was a limit to being strong. Was there a point when your body demanded you let out those feelings inside of you that were drowning you?
Ever since my mother passed away, I’ve felt like I’ve been trying to stay afloat and was failing miserably.
There was nowhere to sit down, but the hallways had nice, thick carpet. Although it was gross and tacky, I didn’t think twice as I let myself slide down the wall and just sat down. I wanted to make myself into a little cocoon, but my dress would not allow it.
Instead, my legs were stretched before me and crossed at the ankle.
I closed my eyes and focused on breathing, and when I felt some tears leak out, I didn’t bother to wipe them. It was always easier to fall apart in the dark, for your sins didn’t shine without light. A few minutes later, I jolted when a body slid next to mine.
My eyes sprang open and widened upon seeing who was next to me.
Neo’s face was carefully blank. His jaw wasn’t clenched, nor was he scowling or smirking in mirth at me. His eyes were another story. Since the place was dimly lit, and there wasn’t much space between the two of us, all I could see was him. His shoulder brushed mine, and his smell was intoxicating me. For someone who wanted nothing to do with me, he was making sure all I could think of was him. His eyes were unguarded while he looked at me like he had seven years ago.
One second passed, then two, and I couldn’t make myself speak. I was drained. I should have cared that he was here with me, but maybe like those seven years ago, hallways had become our time-out, a taboo we could not speak about.
I opened my mouth, ready for another verbal sparring, but Neo was lifting his hand before a word could come out. I noticed two things: a black-and-gold Patek Philippe watch that used to belong to my grandfather and a handkerchief.
If you had told me yesterday that Neo would be wiping away my tears, I would have laughed in your face and called you crazy. With each tear he wiped away, a part of me cracked. How was it possible that the person who was responsible for taking everything away from me could also make it better?
Neo took his time as he wiped away the tears he had a hand in causing.
“Nice watch,” I said bitterly as he began to pull away.
Venom constantly dripped from my tongue whenever he was concerned. I was ready to have the first word and the last.
“Gerald said it was a Riviere right for when one starts at the company,” Neo added without malice. His tone was soft, and I almost forgot what that sounded like.
“I know,” I said, breaking our eye contact and looking straight ahead.
My answer was curt and to the point. He didn’t need to know how much that stupid watch hurt me. My father had his grandfather’s watch. Even if Gerald gave me another one, it wouldn’t be the same. In this family, I would always be a second-class citizen.
At the thought, another tear fell.
This time, I didn’t feel the softness of the handkerchief. Without having to look, my heart began to race, and my blood sang at the contact. Neo was using his thumb to wipe away the lone tear that had fallen.
Our gazes clashed, and his eyes, which had been calm seconds ago, were burning up now. He shifted, and I braced to see what he would do next. Neo grabbed my hair and ran it through this pointer and thumb before letting it go.
“Stop fucking crying,” he hissed.
My lower lip trembled, and I felt his eyes track the movement.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I said in a low voice, trying to stop myself from crying.
Neo got even closer, he rubbed the corner of my eye and trailed down to my chin, where he held it between his thumb and index finger.
Could he hear how my heart thumped erratically just because he held me?
“You’re not weak,” he said as his voice dropped and his face got closer to mine. “So, stop acting like it.”
My intake of breath was soft. A part of me told me to pull away, that this was a mistake. Neo and I were always ready to battle someone else’s war. I don’t know who moved closer, if I did or him, but our noses touched. Having him so close to me was electric. I couldn’t move, and that was probably due to the fact that we were poison to one another.
One kiss never killed anyone.
I looked up at him to make sure this was what he wanted.
Because one kiss might just kill us.
The door to the hallway opened, and Wes called out for Neo, making him jump up as if I had burned him before our lips even touched.