Chapter 6
SIX
LOURDES
Twenty-three years old
Two years later
Sooner or later, we all have to stop running. No matter how fast we run or how far we go, our problems will always be right behind us.
My time away at college was like a nice little vacation. I got to hang out with people who weren’t from my world and experience the world through their eyes.
I lived my life in a way I hoped made my mami proud.
Todo a su tiempo. All in good time. My mami was wise. Even though my father didn’t pressure me to join the company—hell, sometimes it felt like no one would care if I started there or not—it was still something I wanted to do. It was my birthright.
I grew up watching my parents be a team, which inspired me—all I wanted was to take part in my family's legacy. Was that so bad?
Or maybe when my mami died, I didn’t let myself dream a new dream.
The knock on my door startled me. It was late, and my father knew I had come to sleep early since tomorrow would be my first day of work.
As my hand reached for the doorknob, I hesitated for a second. No, it would be ridiculous to think that Neo would be at my door, especially now. I don’t think he even came to sleep here anymore.
My ridiculous thought was quickly dismissed when I saw my father standing there.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
Our relationship wasn’t tense, it was just strained. The years got between us, and it wasn’t easy to regain the trust that was lost. He was my father, and I loved him… I just no longer adored him.
He was the only one at my college graduation, which I preferred. I didn’t want to deal with Pricilla, and there was no way he would come. My father’s smile was bright, and he was proud on my graduation day. He had even shed a few tears. He obviously knew about my business MBA, but the master’s in Hispanic studies was new to him. This probably explained why I hadn’t come home for the last two years.
“I wanted to give you this.” He gave me a bittersweet smile, and my eyes watered when I saw the beautiful white envelope with purple accents. I had received one on my graduation day already.
“H-how many letters did she write me?” Even though my voice was sad, I smiled.
My father returned the sentiment. “Not as many as she would have wanted.”
He handed me the envelope, but along with it, a sage green square box. It caught me by surprise. For graduation, my father gave me a green-and-gold Montblanc pen. Graduation would be the perfect occasion for new jewelry.
“Was this one my mother’s?” I asked in awe since after her passing, I had received her gold set of vintage Alhambra since, for my quinceanera, my parents had gifted me the malachite bracelet, necklace, and ring.
My mom wasn’t big on giving teenagers high-end jewelry. She said I needed to be grateful for all the things I had, and if they gave me everything I wanted, I would take things for granted.
“No, this I got just for you,” my father said, and my stomach dipped. I was touched by his thoughtfulness.
I opened the box, and his intention with the gift touched me. It was a gold and malachite necklace, a perfect mix of the two I already had.
“Thank you, Papi,” I whispered.
The air left my lungs as my father wrapped me in his arms. I couldn’t help but hug him back. I missed him. I missed his warmth, and in the last few years, I had arrived to the conclusion that while a part of me hated him for never standing up for my mother, especially where my grandfather was concerned, he had been a good husband to her and an even better father. That was the crux of growing up—realizing two things could be right at the same time while still contradicting one another.
“Love you, Lulu, you’re going to do great.”
My dad kissed my forehead and then walked away.
Once in my room, I put my new jewelry on my vanity counter. My plan had been to lay low and work my way up from the bottom, like everyone in my family had done before me. That required me to be one with the people, and hopefully, I could still be one with them with a thirty-thousand-dollar necklace around my neck.
The other envelope was next to me on my nightstand. I carried it with me everywhere. That first letter had been hard, and I cried for hours. I had read it so much that I had it memorized.
Taking a deep breath, I opened this one.
Mi amor, are you ready for your big day?
Your first big girl job marks a step toward your adulthood. This is when you will look back once you have conquered the world.
My eyes were a bit puffy from crying, but otherwise I looked refreshed and ready for today. I was wearing a dark green high-waisted skirt with a side knot and a white silk blouse. My metallic gold heels matched well with my new jewelry. I almost debated changing into a more sensible pair, but I would be seeing Pricilla today around work, and I was petty.
Revenge before comfort, or however the saying went.
Once I was ready, I left the house with time to spare to get some iced coffee before work. When I got to our building, I took a moment to take in the bold letters at the front with my last name on them. Looking up at all those stories, I felt so small, but I was excited because I could make some change here.
I reported to the front desk and stated my name.
“Miss Riviere,” the secretary said with a brief smile. “Welcome.” She handed me a badge with my photo on it. I assumed my father had arranged that for me since my hiring process had not been the same as everyone else's. “You are to report to the marketing department. Your badge will give you access to anywhere in the building. No restrictions added.” That last part was said with a bit of resentment.
“I thought I was to report with the other interns in sales?”
The marketing department didn’t have any interns.
“No,” she told me. “Your father approved your change.”
I got the feeling she was not happy with me about this, and instead of being bitchy I just gave her a forced smile and took my shit. I would have to ask my father why, all of a sudden, I was the one breaking decades of tradition.
This was my chance to prove to my grandfather that anything the Riviere men could do, I would do better, and I was already being sabotaged.
I squared my shoulders and marched my ass to the marketing department, wondering if maybe this was a blessing in disguise, and I could give our brand the rebranding it didn’t know it needed.
The marketing department was smaller than the others. My grandfather believed, and I agreed with him, that too many people stirring the same pot would just fuck it up. It was better to have a minor team moving forward than a huge team divided because everyone couldn’t agree on what to put out.
It struck me as odd that I didn’t see anyone in their cubicles. I didn't expect a welcoming committee, but walking into chirping crickets was not on my first-day-of-work bingo card. Since I was on the correct floor, I just walked right in, trying to remember who was in charge of this department. If anyone knew what was going on and why the sudden change, it would be them.
The sound of furious tapping could be heard through the room, so I decided to follow it. When I reached the office, I halted. The office was nice, a big ornate door leading you inside to a window with views of the city. That wasn’t the problem.
“Why are you here?”
Not my finest moment, but the last person I expected to be here was Neo. He finished writing whatever message he was working on and then looked up. His eyes traveled up my body until they landed on my face.
My first day of work was already ruined.
I could tell just by looking at his stupid, handsome face.
“That’s no way to talk to your boss, Miss Lourdes.”
“Miss Riviere, but I guess you can’t say that without feeling like a fraud.”
I couldn’t help and taunt the asshole back.
He didn’t miss a beat.
“Oh, no, not at all. I was simply trying not to show favoritism because of your last name.”
I rolled my eyes, sat across from him, and crossed one leg over the other. Then I reached for the pretty gold plaque that adorned his desk.
“Then we should get one of these made with your actual last name, don’t you think?”
The plaque flew into the air, surprising me when my aim was good enough that it fell into the trash can.
When I let myself look back at him, I bit my lip when I saw his eyes had darkened.
“Oops, it slipped.”
His jaw ticked, and I could tell he really wanted to lash out on me, but he did the same as I did and leaned back into his chair.
“The board voiced their concerns about you starting at the company. They weren’t sure you were ready.”
My cheeks instantly flushed in anger. One thing you could say about Neo and me is that we knew how to push each other’s buttons, but it also meant we could cut the other one down and take it too far without even intending to. But when we wanted to, we both aimed to kill.
“They said you were too green—no real experience.”
“Why am I here?” I bit out.
At this, the asshole smiled.
“Well, what kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t stick up for my little sister when the men at the round table don’t think she’s capable?”
“I’m perfectly capable of working my way up just like you did and every Riviere man before me.”
He didn’t miss my subtle dig, but he did ignore it.
“That’s the problem, sis, the men have all done it…” He let his words hang in the air as he took a moment to gloat. “Let’s just say some were worried you would rise quickly in the ranks using methods unbecoming of a proper lady.”
“Not even their own wives want to fuck those crusty assholes that they have to pay for their sugar airheads. I have my own money, I have my daddy’s money. Why the fuck would I want them?”
He seemed amused by my little rant.
“Those men remember your mother. They knew how ambitious she was. They probably think you’re the same way.”
Anger spread through me at the mention of my mother. If you wanted to piss me off, one sure way to do so was to speak ill of her. I would stand many things from my family, but what I wouldn’t do—couldn’t do—was have them ruin her memory.
“If it’s gold diggers they are worried about, they need not look further than your mommy.”
I would laugh at how the sneer fell from his face if I weren't so angry. What could he say to me now?
Like I said earlier. Neo and I didn’t need a blade to do any real damage—our words were more than enough.
He grabbed a pen and began to scribble on a notepad.
“Doesn’t respect her superiors, childish behaviors…” He looked up at me and I noticed some of his mirth had come back, then he looked toward the trash can. “Prone to violence.”
I bit my lip to fight the urge to ask him what he was doing.
His gaze was locked on my lips.
“Everyone agreed that it was best that I keep an eye on you. I will be reporting weekly updates on your progress.”
Even though I wanted to scream, and for the first time in a long time I felt like running to my father so he could make things better, I took a deep breath and swallowed my anger.
At times, it felt like I was being measured by a stick that was different from everyone else. Whether it was due to privilege, my weight, or the color of my skin, nothing was ever fair.
“I do hope you can be fair. I’d hate to report a complaint against you for discrimination,” I told him as calmly as possible.
This seemed to irritate him.
“What the hell do I have to discriminate?”
And because I woke up elated to finally start at the family company only to find out that things would be harder for me than everyone else before me, my insecurities came out, and I was vulnerable in a way I shouldn’t be in front of Neo.
“Take your pick, Neo,” I told him as I raised my hand and counted off my fingers. “I’m not a boy, but between us, I don’t think that would matter much to my grandfather since I’m not light-skinned enough for him, and if I wasn’t enough of a letdown, being fat isn’t doing me any favors.”
Neo’s demeanor had changed again. It wasn’t hostile like it had been earlier, nor was it taunting. I waved my big white flag before he could get his last dig in. Wars weren’t won in a day, and losing one battle didn’t mean you lost the war.
“What would you like me to do today?”
It almost made me physically ill to get those words out, but I was determined to prove everyone wrong.