Chapter 9 #3
“Give me the deets ‘bout the situation. Thiago ain’t the person to talk to.”
“Shid, ya guh raw. She don’ pissed in a cup an’ told that nigga, Dropo, to drink it.
I ain’t hollered in disgust in a long time.
She brought in a mange mutt from somewhere an’ had that motherfucka nibblin’ on that nigga’s ankles.
While she ate, she popped that motherfucka all in his face wit’ a fly swatter that seen mo’ roach ass an’ fly pussy than a corpse.
This guh is X material. Keep her out of her eyesight.
I’m dead ass serious. She gon’ try to recruit her.
Mona rough, nigga. I mean, it’s like I’m seein’ a-whole-nother broad.
Shid, she kicked off the fuckery yellin’ into the woods befo’ slingin’ grenades in it.
We was on her ass when she swerved ‘round her brothers. I thought she was gon’ flip that truck.
She hopped out wit’ the stick an’ dropped them niggas to their knees.
She ain’t flinch. She just fop, fop, fop, fop, fop, fop, an’ som’ mo’ fops.
When she grabbed one of her brothers by his legs wit’ one hand an’ held that stick like it was a PlayStation controller, I knew a boss bitch was in front of me.
We followed her demands. She fam ‘cause of you. You fuck her over, bitch, I hope yo’ ass run ‘cross another bitch who had you on yo’ last leg like Amana had yo’ ass.
She can handle her own. If shit get out of hand, we got them grenade launchers.
It’ll be a lot funeral food floatin’ through this city if a motherfucka step wrong.
I need to chew ‘cause I heard yo’ ass got som’ thangs you need to straighten out wit’ her parents.
Nih, yo’ ass is who I need to see cut up.
It’s been ages since you showed yo’ ass. Call over.”
“Guh, I’m already full nih! What you mean you finna fix som’ French toast? I gotta be able to run if motherfuckas decide they want to die. Fix me fo’ of ‘em, though. I can handle a snack on the road,” Thiago screeched, causing everybody to laugh before I ended the call, growling.
“Have faith, Thiago, isn’t on any fuck shit,” King exhaled as I looked at him ugly.
“That’s som’ I don’t have much of. I’m tellin’ y’all nih … if that nigga try me … he gon’ hate the fuckin’ day he played wit’ a nigga who think first … then … react,” I said calmly, calling August Junior. He was worried about Mona’s whereabouts. I needed to put his mind at rest.
On the second ring, he anxiously answered, “Dad, you with Momma?”
I was taken aback, much like the nosy fuckas in my truck, eyeing me.
“Dad, did you hear me? Are you with Momma?” August Junior asked louder, pleasing me so damn much that I had to pull over into the emergency lane. My eyes were blurry. I had finally given my son a mom.
“Yes, I heard you. I ain’t wit’ her, but she’s okay. I received in-depth report from Thiago an’ Tiberius ‘bout her. She doing the damn thang. So, um, when you started callin’ her momma?” I smiled, looking at the empty highway.
“A few hours ago. It slipped out. Like it was natural.”
“Who it slipped out to?” I inquired as my cousins rubbed my shoulders.
“Her.”
“What the fuck you mean, her?” I hissed, rising in the seat.
“Ah, shit,” the twins held out lowly.
“Dad, um, so Momma and I have this code … if we get into something or I’m past curfew, we are to call the phone six times but only let it ring once.
That’s a signal that it’s the actual phone owner calling.
That’s why she didn’t answer when you called from my phone.
She knew it wasn’t me. Now, on the seventh ring, she answered.
I called her as I see her. My momma. I knew where she was going because she told me.
She told me to tell Min something, but I couldn’t right away.
She scared me when she cussed. When I asked what was wrong, she told me that Tiberius’s truck was ahead of her.
After the call, I told Min what Momma said.
‘I’m cooking breakfast at a house that doesn’t know I can be a devil.
’ That’s why Min howled in laughter. Dad, what does that mean?
” August Junior confessed. By the end of his sentence, I skirted from the highway laughing hard.
“Son, it mean, she finna kidnap som’ folks an’ probably cook all they food in the fridge.”
“Um, why do that?” my son asked, oddly, as the twins looked at me through bucked eyes.
“‘Cause there’s people she respect an’ care ‘bout. They’on know they hostages ‘cause she ain’t showin’ that hand. So, her cookin’ all they food so they don’t have to cook. These people she holdin’ hostage old,” I voiced, loving my woman down with her weird, criminal ass.
“So, she’s loving and a hardcore criminal?” my son asked, confused.
“Yep.”
“My God,” he held out, stunned.
“Same thing I said. Is Azaria in the room wit’ you?”
“Yes, sir. I tucked Grandma in. I like her being here. The house feels complete.”
“I can’t wait to step through the door. Wit’ that being said, I’m finna get off this phone an’ plop my dick head in a bitch’s eyes. I gotta ton of piss that need to meet Mona’s momma’s pupil,” I voiced, causing my son and the twins to howl in laughter.
“I love you, Son, an’ I’mma see you when I get in,” I told him, mashing the pedal.
“Love you too, but before you go. Um, Jonah is pregnant, again. She’s seven weeks.
Phineas is excited but stressed out. Ariel is jealous and whiny because Jonah’s on the way to having two kids with a boy she loves, and he’s deep in love with her and their kids.
She feels as if I don’t love her because I won’t get her pregnant.
What do I do or say?” August Junior confessed as Kingdon was in between the seats, looking at the radio.
King bounced in the seat while staring at the radio.
“Son, if you’ve told her countless times that you love her an’ show it without havin’ to nut in her an’ she still on som’ mo’ shit …
toss her ass back to the streets. If she can’t respect what you got going on an’ need to accomplish, she ain’t fo’ you.
No need to be worry ‘bout a piece of pussy that ain’t got shit going on.
No college applications completed. No job havin’ or seekin’.
Just sit at the house all gotdamn day wit’ that mop on her head waitin’ on you to get paid.
The fucka must’ve forgot who the fuck yo’ daddy is.
She’on wanna see me give you that demon talk.
Have her ass wearin’ her real thin ass hair.
Cut that guh the fuck off. It’s a gotdamn shame she lettin’ Ariel outshine her like a G.
She workin’, a straight A student, got a child, an’ got another on the way.
August Junior, I’mma tell you som’ real shit an’ keep it at that.
Get yo’ dick licked an’ drowned a few mo’ times by Ariel an’ toss that needy motherfucka back in the streets.
I’m sho’ yo’ handsome, smart, talented ass gon’ have them guhs in Kentucky flockin’ to suck ya dick from the back …
if it’s long enough. It should be. I’m yo’ daddy.
Don’t be up in them folks school slangin’ dick errwhere.
One guh at a time. We’on play wit’ females feelin’s.
If som’ shit happen, I’m the consequences of shit happenin’.
We gon’ talk mo’ ‘bout that later. Back to Ariel being pregnant. Kingsley an’ Ryan know?
” I said sternly as the twins laughed hard.
“No, sir. That’s why Phineas is stressed out because he has to tell them,” my son said calmly before becoming stern. “Be still, Azaria. I roll over. There you go on a nigga’s back, dragging your fingers down my neck.”
“No,” she spat, sounding as if she was on his back. “Dada.”
“Why she ain’t sleep?” I asked, in love with how he fusses at her, and she backtalked.
“She pooted wet style. It was stank, so I woke her up to see if she had a bowel movement,” he voiced as Azaria sang my name.
“She had a ton of food today. Her guts on a rollercoaster. Put her on the phone.”
“A’ight,” he replied as I noticed that I was forty minutes from my destination.
“Huh, guh, Dad wants you.” August yawned as Azaria clapped.
“Dadaaaaa!” she yodeled before laughing.
“Azariaaaa!” I hooted, showing my teeth.
She babbled, and I acted like I knew what she was saying. Like always, I made up some shit, which had her giggling.
“You need to laugh yourself right to sleep, or you will be up by yourself.” August Junior chuckled as it was time to wind down my princess and my conversation.
“Azaria, it’s time fo’ bed. I’mma see you when I get home. I love you. Kiss yo’ brother an’ be nice to him.”
“No,” she spoke sternly.
“I’mma beat yo’ chocolate ass. Do as I say,” I fussed as she huffed.
“Do it again, an’ see how I’mma tear that ass up. Nih, kiss that trout mouth nigga’s jaw. Not his lips. They ain’t to be trusted,” I growled as August Junior’s ass turned into a messy brother.
“This nigga’s mouth wild.” Kingdon laughed as a wet kiss sounded from my kids’ background.
“Aww,” we thugs held out.
“Lights out,” I told them.
“Oh, one more thing, Dad,” August Junior said quickly, pissing me off.
“Nih, gotdamn it, August. You an’ this plus something else gon’ make me pull the few hairs I got on my nuts offa me. What is it, nih?” I huffed, causing him and the twins to howl in laughter.
“Momma is pregnant. Goodnight. Love you,” he said happily, causing me to bounce in the seat and pump my fist.
“Oh, hell nawl! No hangin’ up. I got som’ mo’ time fo’ this plus som’ else. How you know?” I grinned as the fellas clapped and smiled.
“If you look in your wallet, like you are supposed to, you’ll see the ultrasound picture and the next appointment card. How do I know? I stood next to her when she put it in your wallet a week ago,” he said as the twins looked at me as I slapped my teeth together.