Chapter 34
Isit in the passenger seat of River”s truck and absentmindedly watch the scenery as it flies by. My stomach is fluttery and nervous. Not because of the GCUFOs meet-up that River is taking me to, no. But because I decided A Big Thing last night when I was falling asleep next to his big, warm body.
I decided that I have to tell River how I feel, today. More explicitly, that I have to say those three little words that I”ve never said to a man that wasn”t my dad or my brother.
I love you.
Just thinking about it makes my whole body clench. It shouldn”t leave me feeling petrified. But it does.
What if he doesn”t feel the same way?
I sneak a glance at River out of the corner of my eye. He catches me looking and smirks. ”What?”
I snicker. ”Nothing.”
River snakes his hand out and puts it on my thigh with a wink.
”Thinking dirty thoughts about me?”
I flush. ”No...”
”Yes, you were. I can tell. You were just wondering when the next time that I can bind your wrists, cover your eyes, and spend hours bringing you close to the edge with my fingers and tongue deep in your pussy. Admit it. You”re getting wet for me right now.”
His deep voice washes over me and heat flashes through my veins. I bite my lip and try not to grin. ”God damn it, River. You know I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
”I could pull over somewhere private and we could recreate our quickie in the car.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
”Quickie? We spent an hour in here, if I remember correctly.”
”You know that whenever I fuck, I like to make an event of it. An hour is nothing.”
I grin. ”I do know that about you. And on behalf of women everywhere, I thank you. We need more than a little drunk groping and then sticking it in.”
River”s eyes sparkle. ”I”ve never heard any complaints.”
I laugh at that. ”No, not from me anyway.”
He squeezes my thigh and bites his lip in a way that makes me flush all over. ”I”m going to make you scream my name later. You know that, right?”
I shift in my seat, my pussy damp. Maybe we should pull over and...
But before I can say anything, River turns off into the dirt parking lot beside the bluff. ”This is where you want to be, isn”t it?”
I huff. ”Yes. If you think for a second that I”m not going to remind you of what we just talked about when we”re on the way home though, you”re crazy.”
”Oh, it”s going to happen. I”m going to enjoy making you wait for a little while.”
He turns off the truck and slips out of his seat. I roll my eyes and follow him.
I really want to tell him that I love him. But it seems like he has his mind in the gutter. And I will admit, it is easier to keep my mind on his body than to think about the words that are on the tip of my tongue.
The anticipation of an orgasm is already building as we unpack the back of the truck. The knowledge that we are definitely going to fuck into the wee hours of the night sticks with me as we haul all of our stuff up the bluff. I bite my lip as River sets up our collapsible camping chairs, and our cooler full of drinks and snacks. He keeps bending over, and I feel lecherous for noticing his ass in those tight jeans he wears. There are plenty of other people moving around, getting their telescopes set up and chatting about alien encounters. But I have eyes only for River.
My crush on him has escalated to a full blown infatuation. I set up my precious, beloved telescope; it’s not the fancy one River bought for me, as I’m far too nervous to even adjust that one, much less pack it up and lug it out here. I admit, I’m busy looking at River with a combination of lust and love, watching him flex his muscles as he casually sets up our picnic.
I am not paying much attention. Unintentionally, I almost recreate the last of these meetings I went to, wherein I almost lost my telescope down the steep slope under the bluff.
This time, River comes to my rescue again, snagging the telescope in one hand while bracing me against his body.
Fucking swoon city over here.
”Thanks,” I say softly, looking up into his incredibly handsome face. I can”t stop making heart eyes at him.
River chuckles. ”Careful, darlin’.”
But before I can respond, he turns me loose and heads back down the rocky slope toward the parking lot. I”m dying to just tell him that I love him
But I can”t just blurt it out here, in front of all my GCUFOE friends. That”s way too much private information for the public to have about me. That, and the fact that as supposed fiancés, we probably ought to have declared our love for each other years ago.
I manage to peel my eyes off of River just in time to see a familiar face walk by. Birdie doesn”t even see us, because she is looking down at a small notepad, scribbling furiously. She is wearing a short, blue mock-turtleneck dress and white tights; she looks kind of like a character from Scooby Doo.
I eye her proximity to the edge of the bluff and call out. ”Stop! Birdie, look out!”
Birdie”s blonde head snaps up. She stops on a dime, only now noticing how precariously close to the edge she”d come. Her eyes widen and she steps back with alarm. ”Oh god. I almost fell off!” She laughs and looks at me. ”Pearl! I didn”t know you would be here. It”s always nice to see you, but you really just saved my hide.”
I beckon her closer. ”Are you reporting on this?”
She nods. ”Yup. My editor sent me here. I don”t think he realizes what a klutz I am, though.”
I turn to River. ”You know River.”
He waves, then trundles off to the truck again.
”The fiancé! Yes, of course.” She waves her notepad at him. ”So who is the alien expert here?”
I wave at my telescope. ”I”m not an expert in anything. But I have a telescope and I”m hungry to learn.”
Birdie grins. ”I know you”re engaged, but apparently there”s a whole dating app just for people into UFOs. I just downloaded it today.” She winces. ”I want to say that it”s just a part of my research for this piece, but honestly? Maybe I”ll try it. At least the freaks and weirdos on AlienMeetup are open-minded.
My brows shoot up. ”Oh really? I had no idea.”
”Well, there”s no need for you to worry about it. One, you”re not a single mom. Dating guys as a single mom is the worst. But more importantly, you”re already practically married to one of the Billion Dollar Bennetts.”
She is so wrong. I”m actively trying to become a single mom. And my relationship with River is as fake as a dime store spray tan. But I can”t tell her any of that. So instead, I smile and say, ”The Bennett-Taylors actually hate that nickname.”
She frowns. ”Oh my god. I”m sorry. Did I put my foot in my mouth?”
”Nah.” I wave my hand at my telescope. ”Do you want to check out the skies tonight? Venus is supposed to be easy to see, according to my almanac.”
Birdie grins at me. ”Yes! I”ll definitely take you up on that.”
I show Birdie how the telescope operates and let her look around. But while she is oohing and ahhing, I have a belly full of sharp rocks.
Is what she says true? Am I setting myself up for misery by trying to become a single mom? More importantly, am I crazy to let this fake engagement go on? Without telling River how I really feel, I could be risking everything.
But what if I tell him and he doesn”t feel the same way about me? It would be a heartbreaking end to this whole mess.
River comes back from the truck and chats with Birdie. But I am too caught up in my thoughts to follow the conversation.
Birdie smiles at me. ”I have really enjoyed talking to y”all. But I should move on and talk to someone else. I”m really trying to get a firsthand account of alien abduction.”
”You should try Jim Mathers. He”s right over there, in the priest getup.” I point him out. ”He”s eager to tell anybody that will listen about his multiple experiences being abducted.”
”That”s what mama wants to hear.” Birdie gives a little wave. ”See y”all later!”
River sits down in a camping chair and pulls the other seat up next to him. He pats the chair. I sit down beside him, full of nervous, jittery energy.
He puts his arm around mine and tugs my shoulders close, kissing the top of my head. He”s hitting all the right buttons and I shiver pleasurably.
”It”s a nice night out,” River says. He sweeps his gaze around the clearing. ”A good turnout for the meeting, too.”
I look at him, trying like hell not to let my anxiety show. ”Yeah.”
He arches a brow. ”You okay? You seem... weird.”
I can”t stop myself from blurting it out. ”I love you!” I say, my voice a squeak.
His eyes grow dark and wide as takes my hand.
”You love me?” he repeats. ”Seriously?”
I nod, feeling my face flame.
He kisses the back of my hand and smiles at me. ”I love you too, Pearl. I just wasn”t sure if I should say it or not.”
My heart seizes. ”Really?”
He nods, somber for once.
”Yes, darlin’. I”m not sure where that leaves us. I never planned...” He shakes his head, sucking in a breath. ”I don”t know.”
I screw up my face. ”Does this change anything for us? I know you have a future envisioned that takes place in Atlanta... and I still want to have your baby...”
”Slow down. Can we just kind of live in the moment? I know that I love you. That”s all I know.”
My heart thuds painfully against my ribs. ”We can”t live in this bubble for very long...”
He leans in and places a searing kiss against my lips. His touch is so knowing, so confident.
I can trust that, I think.