Chapter 40
Looking at the pregnancy test stick, I purse my lips. I already know what it is about to reveal to me.
Because what could be more perfect than finding out I am pregnant when I have spent the whole day in bed, crying over River”s betrayal? It feels fated, in a way.
When the test shows two lines, indicating that I am indeed pregnant, I have to steady myself on the bathroom sink because it feels like my legs are suddenly made of soft rubber.
Is this getting what I have always wanted? Or is my body betraying me as surely as River did?
I guess it”s a bit of both.
After washing my hands and disposing of the test, I head right back to my bed and flop down face first. Curling up and pulling the comforter over my head feels essential right now.
God damn. How did my life get so fucked up so fast? Three days ago, I didn”t know anything was even wrong. I still probably wouldn”t know if River hadn”t made a lasting enemy in Bishop.
Is it wrong that a small part of me just wishes that Bishop had kept his trap shut? Instead, he had to snitch on River. Which unleashed hell on me.
What the fuck is going on in my life right now?
After crying all morning, my tear ducts are completely dry now. I”m just miserable.
Miserable and pregnant. What a great way to start my baby-having journey.
My phone vibrates. I sigh heavily and reach for it. It”s a text from Sav.
Cole says that you broke up with River. Is there any truth to that wild rumor?
I pause, uncertain what to say. I end up with, Yes. But only because he”s a backstabbing son of a bitch.
What?is her response. Then, where are you?
At my cabin.
Can I come over? Or do you want to come to our house on the beach?
I think about that for a second. The whole cabin is heavy with my grief and I”m pretty sure that the air is ripe with depression. I wouldn”t want cheerful, sunny Savannah to catch my depression, somehow. Plus, a change of scenery might be nice. I”ve cried on all the pillows and blankets here already, so it might be nice to sniffle at the beach for a couple of hours.
I”ll come to your place, if that”s cool.
She answers almost immediately.
Totally. Birdie is here too, FYI. But she promises to take her journalist hat off and don her friend hat instead.
Totally fine. I could use some advice from her, actually. I”ll be there soon.
Twenty minutes later, I am clomping up the back stairs to the street entrance to Sav”s house. The door swings open and Sav welcomes me into her house with a huge hug. I take it because I desperately need the support right this second.
”Let”s grab a glass of wine and then settle down in the living room,” she says. Her tone is sweet as pie but there is a distinct air of steely authority underneath that.
”Sure,” I say, following her. Once we get into the kitchen, Birdie greets us.
”Hey, Pearl.” She wrinkles her nose. ”Did you really break up with River?”
I nod. ”I had to.”
She offers me a hug. I accept it, smiling at how much Sav and Birdie are alike. There may be slight differences between the two sisters: Sav dresses sweet and summery in a lacy white dress, while Birdie looks sassy in her smart green mini dress and winged eyeliner, looking for all the world like a 60s airline stewardess.
”Thanks. And yeah, I”m definitely more than a little heartbroken. I feel so betrayed.”
Sav whisks a bottle of sparkling rosé out of the fridge and pops the bottle. ”A little bubbly?”
I shake my head slowly. ”I can”t.”
Sav looks up. ”Can”t? Or just don”t want any right now?”
I exhale a long breath. ”Can”t. I”m pregnant. River and I were actively trying to conceive when all of this happened.”
Sav sets the bottle down. ”Holy shit. Okay. Back the train up.”
”I”ll tell you the whole story when we sit down. Go ahead and pour yourself a glass.”
Sav gives me a rueful smile. ”I actually can”t have any either. Cole and I are waiting to tell people, but I”m pregnant too.” She winces. ”Sorry, was I raining on your parade?”
”No way,” I say, shaking my head. ”Any good news is more than welcome right now. And that means that my baby will know its best friend from birth!”
Sav squeals and hugs me. ”Besties from birth!”
I smile, but my happiness feels like it”s weighed down with a ship”s anchor. There is nothing buoyant in me today.
”Well, I”ll have the bottle, then,” Birdie says crisply. ”It”s been that kind of week, you know?”
”I do, unfortunately,” I sigh.
”Let”s get comfortable by the bay window and talk it out,” Sav suggests. ”When you said River and the word betrayed, my stomach turned sour.”
She pours us a couple of fuchsia-colored herbal iced teas and we all settle into the couch beneath the big bay window in Sav”s living room with our drinks.
I nervously pick at my skirt. ”Since I”m dumb enough to tell someone I barely know my problems, I told him at your engagement party that my family was struggling to pay property taxes on the land.” I pull a face. ”Looking back, it must have driven River wild knowing that all he had to do was sweet talk me into asking him for help.”
Birdie cocks her head. ”Why would you ask him for help? I know his family has money, but...”
I nod. ”He”s the CEO of a real estate firm.”
Birdie sucks in a breath and wrinkles up her face. ”That”s really awful.”
”Yes.” I hesitate. “At least I didn’t let him get me pregnant. We were, you know, trying.”
Birdie chokes on her glass of wine. There is a minute of Sav pounding on her back and Birdie coughing loudly before they settle back. Then the attention is all on me.
”How could you think that was a good idea, Pearl?” Sav scolds me gently. ”It sounds like a plan destined to end up with broken hearts.”
I shrug my shoulders. ”Well, hormones might have played a part. River suggested this plan, and all I had to do was say yes to it and I would get guaranteed orgasms. It seemed like a no brainer.”
Birdie groans. ”I know that feeling.”
”I have to admit that did play a big role in my secret hookups with Cole. He does this thing with his tongue...” Sav says, staring off. After a second, she shakes herself. ”What were we talking about?”
”About how River betrayed Pearl, I think,” Birdie supplies.
”The thing is, I knew that River wasn”t husband material. I kept trying to remind myself of that. We were supposed to each get what we needed from one another and get out.” My lips twist. ”I feel like such an idiot.”
Birdie makes a sympathetic expression. ”We all make mistakes where guys are concerned. I mean, I ended up with Dex in almost the same way. I was just snowed by his dickhole of a father.”
I wince. ”I just knew that River would let me down eventually. Men always disappoint me in the end. But I was like... hypnotized. Dick-matized.”
Sav balls up her mouth. ”And you fell for him too, it sounds like.”
Nodding, I feel my face heat. ”Yep. I made some really stupid ass decisions this time.”
Birdie rubs my knee. ”Well, you came to the right single mom. Let”s make a plan. I can tell you the main things you need to be worried about and we can go from there.”
Tears prick the corner of my eyes. I thought I was all cried out, but apparently not. I look between the sisters. ”Can I have a hug?” I croak.
Before I know it, I am being hugged from both sides.
”Well get through this. I promise,” Sav whispers to me.
I feel the first tear begin to fall and I don”t resist it in the least.