35. Nora
CHAPTER 35
NORA
I wake up to a room bathed in soft light leaking in through the covered windows. The bed is warm and soft. The person behind me is certainly also warm, but not soft. And he’s cradling me into the curve of his body.
West.
Who spent the night in my bed because of my breakdown last night.
I close my eyes again and try not to shift an inch. His chest rises deep and steady behind my own. This has never happened before. I’ve never once done this, and the joy of it makes me almost giddy.
I slept in his arms the whole night.
Even if we must have shifted in our sleep. Because now he’s holding me tight, the small spoon to his big one, and he’s got both arms around me. One beneath my neck and the other around my waist.
It feels good to be held like this. Even if I’m very warm. It’s like he runs hotter than I do, because where his hand rests against the bare skin of my stomach, my shirt ruched up, his palm is hot.
And there’s something thick pressing against my low back.
He’s hard. Again. Like he was when I sat on his lap at the poker game, and like he got last night when he told me how he’d make me come. He helped me practice talking about sex and grew hard at the same time.
He’s clearly enjoying what we’re doing too.
I focus on the feeling of him pressing against me. He feels big. But what do I know? Our bodies fit well together like this, mine in the curve of his, but what would it be like to practice… all of it?
To take him inside me?
I’ve never wanted it with a real guy the way I do now. Never been curious this way. But now, with him…
I shift a little to glance over my shoulder.
It’s a mistake. West groans and pulls me closer against his body. The hand that’s been relaxed by my stomach flattens against my skin, fitting me neatly against him.
Against his erection.
His breath is hot against the back of my neck, his thumb moving in small circles on my stomach. He’s not asleep. But he’s not quite awake, either.
Heat spreads through me at his touch. What would it be like if his hand moved farther south? Just a little… and his thumb kept rubbing those circles? What would it be like to hear him call me his clever girl? If he told me that I felt so good, was doing so good, while he coaxed my body through orgasms I’ve only given myself?
Just like he did the other week when he kissed me while I used the vibrator.
“Mmm,” he mumbles, and his hips shift forward, grinding his cock against the curve of my ass. “Morning.”
“Morning,” I whisper.
His hand shifts down just an inch. His pinky brushes the waistband of my pajama shorts.
I try to stay perfectly still.
“You smell good.” His voice is rough with sleep. I feel the brush of his lips against my neck, and my breath catches.
His hand stops on my lower stomach. And then he groans, but it’s far less pleased now. “Shit.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m okay.”
The grinding pressure of his erection disappears, and West twists away from me. The warm cradle of his body is gone. I turn onto my back to see him looking up at the ceiling.
“That went well,” I say. “We practiced cuddling. It’s okay. On my end, I mean. That happens.”
He runs a hand over his face. “Yeah.”
“And there’s no need to be… I mean, I know it’s usual for men to get hard in the morning. I know it had nothing to do with me.” I’m babbling, and I know it, but I can’t stop.
“Jesus,” he mutters. “Nothing to do with you?”
“Yes,” I say. “Which is fine! I mean to say… it’s okay.”
He laughs, voice still a bit rough. It doesn’t sound like a particularly happy sound. He’s still looking up at the ceiling, and I study his profile, the shadow along his jaw that’s grown stronger overnight. “I don’t have expectations,” he says. “But I’m a man, Nora. Of course I’m affected. And it most definitely has everything to do with you.”
“Oh,” I breathe.
He turns to look at me, his eyes unusually light in the soft glow of the morning. “That doesn’t change anything, though. You don’t start thinking about me now. We only do what you want to do.”
“Have you been… I mean… it must be uncomfortable. To be hard. Right?” The cover is down to our waists, and I can’t resist glancing down. “And not get to…?”
He groans again. “I can’t believe you’re asking me this.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No. You’re curious, and I’ve promised to teach you things.” He turns to look at me. “What do you want to know?”
A flush races up my cheeks. “Anything. Everything. You got hard last night too. At the party. And at the poker game.”
His eyes darken. “I wasn’t sure you felt that.”
“I did.”
“Mhm.”
“Does it bother you? Not to get to…”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Not to come? Yes. It’s not pleasant, but I manage. And I make sure to finish myself off when I’m alone.”
My throat dries. He said that on our date. More recently. I glance down again and wonder what he’d look like. I’ve already felt him against me.
“You’ve got those eyes. Like you did in the sex shop.” He reaches over and tips my head back up to his. “Do you want to see it? No expectations, sweetheart.”
“I’m just… I mean… yes.” It comes out a little strangled. “Yes. I’ve never been close to a man before. I’ve never…”
“I know.” He pushes the covers down off the both of us. There’s a thick outline in his sweatpants. I sit up on my knees beside him and feel like I can’t breathe, can’t think around the excitement.
“Remember you can always leave if it becomes too much,” he says. He pulls up his T-shirt and reaches down to hook his thumbs in the waistband of his sweats. “No hard feelings. I’ll never be angry.”
“I know.”
“Repeat it back to me.”
“Yes, Calloway, I know I’m safe with you. I can leave if it’s too much. I can throw the covers back over you and kick you out of my bedroom.”
He chuckles a little. “That’s my girl.”
He lifts his hips an inch off the bed and pulls down his sweats and the boxer briefs peeking out beneath.
His cock emerges thick and heavy against his stomach. It’s a dusky color, and it looks so big. Are they always that big? I’ve seen erections before, of course. Just never in person. There’s a vein that snakes up along the hard shaft.
West groans. “I’ve never been looked at like that before.”
“Like what?” I look away from his cock to meet his eyes. A languid heat hangs in the air instead, in every relaxed line of his body, in the flush in my cheeks.
“With such focus,” he murmurs.
I look back down at him. At the thick, curved head. Beneath my gaze, his length twitches. I smile in delight. “I’ve heard they do that.”
“You’ve heard .” He lets out a low sigh. “Jesus Christ.”
I inch closer to where he’s stretched out on my bed. The urge to touch him makes my fingers tingle.
“I want to touch you,” I say. “Can I?”
He reaches up with his hands and puts them behind his head. “I’ll keep my hands right here for you. I won’t move.”
“Good. And you’re not allowed to touch me either.”
“I won’t, sweetheart.”
I inch forward on my knees, my eyes already moving across his torso. I’ve never been able to just study a man like this before. Lazy, unbothered, without urgency. With this much trust. He has grooves in his stomach, a hint of a muscly six-pack. Dark hair that runs below his navel to meet his cock.
I reach out to run a hand along his carved stomach but stop just shy of his skin. “What about a safe word? You said that was important.”
His eyes are hooded. “I don’t need one.”
“Yes, you do. I want you to feel safe. Like you’ve done for me.”
“I am safe. Well,” he amends and looks down at himself, “I’m going to be in pain, but it’s the kind I like.”
“Safe word,” I repeat.
His lips twitch. “Fine. My safe word is Nora.”
“You can’t use my name!”
“Why not? It’s my safe word, isn’t it?”
“Take this seriously, please.”
West looks up at the ceiling, and a smile breaks out. “I am taking this seriously. Fine. My safe word is pink.”
Pink.
That’s what he said was his new favorite color, the other night. When he had his mouth on my nipple, murmuring praise that soaked into my skin.
He looks back at me. “That shut you right up.”
“Quiet,” I murmur, but my blush is fierce.
He smiles again and settles back against the pillow. “Ready when you are, brave explorer.”
I inch closer and put my hands on his chest. He’s firm beneath my touch, such a wide expanse of skin. I spend a solid minute just running my hands over his body. Through the hair on his chest and down his stomach, across the pebbled nipples. His arms are thick, too, and corded with muscle even when he’s not flexing. I poke at his bicep and find it so curiously hard, unlike my own.
“I feel like I’m on an operating table,” West says.
I trace his open palm, past his ring finger and the gold band that circles it. Continue over the top of his thigh, to where hair thickens and is darker than on his forearms. He works out. I’ve seen it in action, and I can see it now, in every long line of his body.
“Incision here…” I murmur and run my finger over his skin.
He huffs a quiet laugh. I turn up, toward where his erection lies against his flat stomach. The head looks almost purple, swollen and a little shiny.
I run a finger along the length. It’s hot to the touch and soft, so much softer than I thought it would be. I smile up at him in delight, only to find him looking at me with a tense face.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yes. I’m fine.” But it comes out through clenched teeth.
I trace one of the veins, smooth over the velvety head, and listen to every careful intake of his breath. “Are they always this big?” I ask him. My fingers just barely wrap around him. The idea of all of this inside me… it makes me ache.
“I know you’re inexperienced and it’s wrong of me, but fuck if that isn’t flattering,” he grinds out. “They come in all sizes. Like you saw with the condom options.”
“But is this an ordinary size?” I stroke him from base to tip. The skin may be soft, but there’s a hard core to him. Unbendable and unbreakable.
“If you want an honest answer, never ask a man who wants you that question.”
That makes me giggle. “So you’d say above average, then?”
“Of course I would. There’s a pretty girl touching my cock.”
“It just seems so big. Like how would all of this possibly fit? I mean, I know it does. That it would.” I brush my fingers down his shaft.
“It would fit, sweetheart.” His voice is rough. “If you’re turned on enough, and I’d… if a man warmed you up properly. Fuck, trouble.”
I pause, my fingers on the soft skin of his balls. “Not here?”
“Yes, there . You can do anything.” But his breathing is more shallow.
I continue my exploration, gently cupping and rolling them in my palm. They’re heavier than I expected, and I’m fascinated by how they shift and move under my touch. West’s breathing grows faster with my touch, too. He likes this.
And I suddenly realize the rush of power that can come with this.
“What does it feel like? To come, as a man?”
West groans. “Jesus.”
“I mean, aren’t you curious about women’s orgasms?”
His eyes open, dark on mine. “I’m very curious about one woman’s orgasms.”
I look back down at his length and the twin balls that are now drawn up tight beneath. He’s responsive. His entire body is, large and taut beneath my gaze. There’s a small scar above his right knee and thicker hair here at the base of his cock.
I return to stroke him. “Tell me.”
“It’s intense. Like it is for you. Builds and builds, and there’s a single-minded focus on releasing all that pressure.” His chest heaves with a deep breath, and I get the sense that it’s harder and harder for him to keep up this conversation. “What does it feel like for you?”
“Usually it’s a pleasurable, warm feeling. It’s sometimes intense, sometimes not.” I look back down at him in my hand. “It was stronger with you, though. The other day. Much better than usual.”
West’s arms tauten, the muscles flexing. Like he’s having to really think to avoid reaching down and touching me. I speed up and use my thumb to rub back and forth over his leaking head on every upturn. His cock twitches in my grip.
“Oh!”
He huffs a hoarse breath. “Yeah. Oh. If you keep going, sweetheart…”
“You’re close? Already? I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
“Already, she says. As if I haven’t been blue-balled for a week straight, and you’re telling me I’m big and that I make you come so well.” He looks up at the ceiling, his jaw tight. “Yes, sweetheart. I’m close already.”
It’s there for the taking. I can give him what he wants and what his entire body is tightening to prepare for. I can make him happy.
But we’re practicing changing old habits.
I let go of his cock and sit back on my knees.
He lets out a groan, and his cock jerks against his stomach again. It looks even bigger than before, the tip weeping against his skin.
“Fucking hell,” he says.
I’m in control, and his hands remain beneath his head. He’s not breaking his promise. Maybe I can…
“West,” I tell him.
He looks down at me. There’s color high on his cheekbones. “Yes.”
“Hands stay where they are,” I remind him and reach for the hem of my camisole. I pull it up and off.
I’m not wearing a bra beneath.
His breath stutters, and he curses. “You’re so goddamned pretty.”
I smile a little. “I want to give you something to look at.”
“You always do.” His whiskey eyes burn where they trace across my skin. “Your nipples are hard. Look at you, sweetheart, kneeling beside me. You’re doing so good.”
I reach for him again. He groans when I stroke him. “Tell me what you like. The way you’ve made me do,” I say, gripping him tighter. Watching his face for his reactions.
West’s eyes are locked on mine. “There’s no way you can touch me that won’t turn me on.”
“Tell me,” I insist.
“All right. The speed you’re going right now?” He looks down, his abs drawn tight. “That’s good. That’s perfect. If you speed it up just a bit, it’ll be game over. If you want to draw it out, you can slow down or grip my balls.”
I slow down and grip his cock tighter. “Like this?”
“Yes. Exactly like… that.” His chest expands with another deep breath. “Look at you being such a good girl, learning how to please me.”
A hot flush spreads up my chest, and I press my thighs together tighter. “And if I speed up…”
I do just that, the skin beneath my grip smooth now with the wetness already dripping off his head. West groans again, his hips shifting up and into my grip. “Fuck. Yes.”
“You’re close.”
“Very,” he grits out. His eyes are locked on mine, his breathing labored. Every muscle in his large body looks locked down. Like he’s a coiled spring, ready and aching to move, but he remembers his promise that he won’t.
He groans loudly, like he’s ripping apart with pain. His hips buck up once in my hand, and then he comes in thick spurts up his stomach. His cock twitches in my grip, and I stroke the base of him, watching until the very last drop leaves him.
He relaxes against the bed. The body that was wound so tightly just a few moments ago is loose now.
I’ve never seen so much spend before. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of a guy coming inside me, but that much? Surely it would drip out.
I reach out, curious, and run a finger through the fluid on his abdomen. It’s slick and warm between my fingers. “There’s so much of it.”
West is watching me. His pupils are blown wide, his arms still locked behind his head. He looks like he’s run a marathon. He looks like he’s won the lottery. “Just when I think you can’t make my ego any bigger,” he says.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. You’re pretty as a fucking picture,” he says, “and you just killed me.”
His cock is still half hard, resting against his thigh. I reach out and run a finger over it, and West grits his teeth. “Careful. Sensitive.”
“Right. Just like me.”
“Just like you. Can I move now?”
I sit back on my haunches. “Depends on what you’re planning to do.”
“I want to hold you,” he says, and pulls his T-shirt down to wipe himself off. “That’s what I’m planning to do. And tell you how good you just did.”
I stretch out beside him. “Yes. You can do that.”
“Thank fucking god.” He turns his face against my hair, and mutters absurd, ridiculous praise that seeps into my bones like warm honey. How good I was, how proud he is, how well I did. How I’m a natural and his cock has never been that hard before. How he felt like he might die if I didn’t let him come.
“My brave, beautiful girl. I didn’t know seeing your curiosity would be such a turn-on. But it was. Did it help that I couldn’t move?”
“Yes,” I say. The butterflies turn over in my stomach. I love the feeling of them now. We’ve become friends. “But I think you can move the next time.”
He kisses my neck. “Thank god.”