Chapter 6 #2
Hailey takes a brush from my bedside table and combs it through my hair.
The soft bristles sliding down my long lengths soothe and relax me, like she knew it would.
She opens her mouth to say something but hesitates.
I know she’s trying to find the appropriate words to express what she wants to say, like she does when writing her poems. She wants every word to be just right.
“You and the twins and Ryder have always had a special bond. Everyone knows it and everyone sees it. I know you love each of them, but is that love the type of love that goes deeper? You need to ask yourself that question first.”
I think about Julien, his quick smile and kind spirit.
How he makes me feel special. Jayson makes my heart pound.
I look into his silver eyes, and every part of me tingles.
And then there is Ryder, my amber-eyed daredevil.
We’re a unit, a unified team. What would happen to us if I chose to date one of them?
I exhale a sharp sigh. The brush Hailey holds drops from my hair. My sister reaches around me to give me a hug.
“What do you want, Lizzie? What would make you happy?”
I lean back into my sister’s arms, accepting the embrace and comfort she is giving.
“I won’t choose. I can’t. I won’t,” I emphasize. “I wish the choice was taken out of my hands.”
I’m a coward.
Hailey squeezes me tight and then gets up, yawning big while stretching her arms overhead. “Sorry sis. I’m exhausted. Get some sleep and hopefully the answer will come to you in your dreams. If not, then I’m always here for you.”
“Good night, Hales. Thanks for being such an awesome sister.”
“Always. Love you.”
Hailey walks through our jack-and-jill, closing both bathroom doors.
My mind is too busy and full of thoughts running circles around my brain.
I click off my bedroom light and walk over to the open window.
Even though it’s the middle of the summer and the air is sticky with hot humidity, I keep my window open at night.
I started doing that when the twins moved in next door.
It’s how we connect to each other at night, and it makes me feel safe.
The branches on the oak tree in front of my bedroom window shake. Sometimes raccoons or possums climb the tree at night. I peer out to get a closer look when a tall figure appears, and I stumble away from the window.
“Jayson?”
Jayson says nothing as he swings through my window and stands in front of me.
His dark brown hair, which is disheveled and sticking up in various places, looks as if he’s been raking his hands through it.
I can see the streaks of gold woven throughout his thick chocolate hair reflected by the faint light coming in through my window.
Jayson’s metallic eyes bore into mine, their glow in the darkness rivaling that of a full moon.
I’m forced to look up at him as he’s several inches taller than I am.
He’s breathing hard, fists clenched at his sides.
He looks angry, wild, but his eyes hold something else.
Something that causes my pulse to skip and speed up.
“Jayson?” I ask again, raising my hand to touch him.
As soon as my fingers graze the side of his face, his eyes change, his irises appearing almost black.
He takes a step toward me. I take a step back.
It’s almost like we’re dancing. My pulse quickens even more.
Jayson’s eyes track across my face like a caress of the hand. He takes another step forward.
Something shifts between us. It’s electricity charged with lightning.
It's so palpable, I can feel it. Every synapse, every nerve ending, fires to life within my body. He takes another slow half step toward me. His mesmerizing eyes hold my green ones, and I couldn’t look away from him now if my life depended on it.
Slowly, very slowly, as if he’s about to touch something precious and fragile, Jayson lifts his right hand and cups the side of my face.
He repeats this with his left hand. Using both thumbs, he gently tips my face upward.
I freeze and my muscles lock up knowing what’s coming but disbelieving it’s about to happen.
Our eyes remain tethered together as he comes closer. I hold my breath, waiting for what’s to come.
His lips touch mine.
It’s like an out of body experience.
My first kiss.
My first kiss with Jayson.
I've never really kissed a boy before. Yes, I know all my friends are way more experienced than I am when it comes to kissing boys.
I have absolutely no experience to fall back on to help me figure out what I need to do.
So I follow Jayson's lead. I can never possibly imagine that anyone will ever kiss me like Jayson is doing right now.
The sound of his phone dinging every second interrupts our kiss. I'm the first to pull away, and that’s enough time for my brain to clear and for me to panic. What have we done?
“Liz. Stop.”
My panic rises. “Jayson, what have we done?”
“Something we should have done a long time ago,” he replies softly, pulling me back for another kiss to prove his point.
“No, you don’t understand. You don’t get it,” my voice rises. “This changes everything. What happens to our friendship? What happens to Julien? To Ryder?”
At the mention of Ryder’s name, I feel Jayson tense.
Jayson pulls me backward toward my bed and sits me down next to him.
“Liz, look at me.”
I refuse.
“Liz,” he says more sternly, “Look at me.”
Once he has my attention, he pulls my face to his and kisses me slowly, once, twice, three times, until all the tension leaves my body.
“I’ll deal with Julien and Ryder. You don’t need to worry about them. Nothing is going to change. I promise.
My brows draw down in disbelief at his words.
“I promise,” he repeats. “You will not lose any of us.”
“But this, you and me, changes everything, Jayson.”
“I’m in love with you, Liz. I think I have loved you for a long time. Tell me you feel the same. Please tell me that we can be together, that you’ll be mine. I’ll do anything. Anything. Just tell me.”
His anguished words pleading with me to love him back tear down my walls of resistance.
I do love Jayson. Very much. But part of me also loves Ryder.
Another part is devoted to Julien. My heart belongs to all three boys.
And now, one of the boys I have loved since I was a little girl is in front of me, declaring his heart to mine, trusting that I won’t break it.
Jayson waits patiently for my answer. I give in, letting him make my choice for me. Isn’t that exactly what I told Hailey I wished would happen? A part of me wonders what would have been if Ryder was the one who climbed up the tree tonight.
I run my hands over his face and up into his hair. I kiss his cheek.
“Yes.”
I kiss his forehead.
“Yes.”
I kiss his nose.
“Yes.”
My eyes gaze at the gorgeous boy before me that has been my prince for so long.
“I love you too.”
Then I kiss his mouth.