Chapter 9
Before I can register what’s happening, Ryder tackles Jayson to the ground. They roll over in the grass a few times before Ryder gains the upper hand and pins Jayson down. I watch in horror as Ryder smashes his right fist into Jayson’s face.
“You son of a—!”
Ryder hits Jayson again.
“You knew! You knew, and you stabbed me in the back!”
Another blow. Jayson doesn't fight back. After standing like a statue, completely frozen and not knowing what to do, I finally find my voice.
“Ryder, stop! Ryder, you’re hurting him!”
I run over and try to pull Ryder off Jayson, but it’s no use. He either is not hearing me, or if he is, he doesn’t care.
A car pulls up the driveway, but I don’t look over to see who it is.
My only concern is preventing Ryder from killing Jayson.
Jayson’s cheek is red and beginning to swell and his mouth is bleeding.
If I don’t do something, anything, right now, I honestly think that Ryder might put him in the hospital.
So, I do the only thing I can think of, and that’s to throw myself bodily onto Ryder and wrap every part of me around him.
My instincts tell me that even in his uncontrollable rage, Ryder would never hurt me. I start to cry, begging Ryder to stop.
Like a switch being flicked, his fists still, and he stiffens. With me still wrapped around him, sobbing, he stands up but doesn’t try to disengage my stranglehold on him.
My mom comes marching up the walkway to where we are, Hailey beside her, both of them with a look of utter shock on their faces.
“Ryder! Jayson! Elizabeth! What on earth is going on here?” she shouts at us.
I see Freda running over from their house next door.
“Ann? What’s going on? Jayson?”
Freda stops abruptly beside my mom and gasps, horrified by the scene in front of her. Her son on the ground, blood on his face, bruises starting to appear. Ryder standing over him, me wrapped around his side. If this wasn’t the worst moment in my life, it would look a bit funny.
“I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I’m so, so, very sorry,” Ryder chokes out. He gently removes my hold on him, gazes around at everyone as if in a daze, and then runs off.
“Ryder! Ryder!” I yell after him, but he’s already gone.
I don’t think I have ever felt such rage.
I want to hurt something as bad as I am hurting right now.
How could he do this to me? I poured my soul out to him last night.
I told him my intentions. He knew I was going to tell Elizabeth today how I felt about her.
I figured that finally telling him and Julien about my feelings toward Elizabeth could cause problems, but never in my life could I have imagined Jay would do what I saw him do.
He was kissing her out on the front lawn! His arms were wrapped around her, and he was kissing her.
I didn’t know where else to go. Forty minutes after fleeing from Elizabeth’s front yard, I find myself storming into my dad’s garage. He’s bending over the engine of a station wagon, checking the oil when I stomp in.
“Hey, Son. Since you’re here, mind handing me that work light over there?”
I reach to pick up the light, but it slips from my hand and drops to the floor with a crash. I bend over to pick it up, and my legs give out like dead weights. I drop to the floor, hands over my face.
“Son, are you alright?”
I shake my head.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?
I shake my head again.
My dad squats next to me, rubbing his large, grease-stained hand up and down my back, helpless in knowing what to do for me, how to comfort me.
He doesn’t know my life just exploded apart.
That my best friend betrayed me in the most awful way.
That the girl I love to the depths of my being has been taken from me, stolen.
I haven’t cried since I was four years old when I fell off my bike for the first time.
But the anger, deception, and hurt eviscerating every pore of my body has me broken.
“Dad,” I choke out, turning to grip his shirt. And I cry.
Several minutes pass. My dad continues to rub his hand on my back, trying his best to soothe me when I feel another presence arrive.
“Hey, man. Thought I might find you here,” Julien says, tone sober.
My dad says nothing, only gives a short head jerk at Julien and quietly gets up and leaves the garage bay to give us some privacy.
I rub my hands over my face a few times. “Did you know?” My anger is like tinder, ready to combust with the tiniest of flame.
“No, man. I had no clue until after he got home.”
“What do you mean after he got home?” Julien shrinks back a bit. Then it hits me and that ember of anger flares to life again.
“That’s where he ran off to last night? He ran straight to Elizabeth’s? He went to her right after I poured my heart out to him?” I jump up, shouting a few curse words, and pace angrily around the garage.
“Ry, it’s a difficult situation for everyone.” Julien, always the peacekeeper.
“Like hell it is. I’m the one who manned up. I’m the one who put it all on the line. I didn’t go sneaking around his back, your back.” I jab my finger at him. “I put my friendships with you first. What he did... he’s a coward.”
“Hey, I’m not going to stand here and justify what he did.
I agree with you. What he did is wrong. I told him that.
But what’s done is done. Elizabeth chose him last night.
She chose, Ryder, and if you want to keep her in your life, if you want to keep me in your life, if you want to someday rebuild any type of relationship with Jay, you’re gonna have to accept it and learn to deal with it. ”
“What choice did Elizabeth make, huh? She was only given half the information. She didn’t know how I felt—how I feel. If she knew, she may have chosen differently.
I start walking out of the garage bay, planning on going back to Elizabeth’s house and telling her everything, but I'm stopped when Julien pulls me back.
“Ry. Just take a minute and think about things before flying off. She might not have heard the words coming from your mouth last night, but she knows. She knows you love her. Deep down she knows, and she loves you too. But she also loves Jayson. She loves me.”
I scowl at him.
“Look,” he continues, “I hate what Jay did. We actually got into a fight about it,” he smirks and that’s when I notice his cut lip that has scabbed over.
“But I also listened to him explain everything to me. Ry, man, he is torn up about it all. He knows he messed up, but he panicked. All he could think about was her leaving him, her not being in his life anymore because she would be with you, and he freaked out. You remember how he reacted last night. He was scared out of his mind.”
My dad walks back in with an ice pack and hands it to me. “I noticed your hands. Put this on them before they start to cramp and swell. I expect a full explanation later.” He walks back out, leaving me and Julien to finish our conversation.
“Think about Elizabeth. Do you love her enough to let her go, let her be happy? Do you think your love for her is strong enough for you to do that and still support her and be her friend? To be able to forgive Jayson for his weakness in loving her too?”
Julien cuffs my shoulder and touches his forehead to mine before leaving me alone to think about the things he just said.
What a godawful mess. It’s all my fault, and I hate myself for what happened. But I have something bigger to worry about right now.
Freda dragged Jayson home to clean him up and call his father.
Mom sent Hailey up to her room and told her to stay there until she called her because she wanted to talk to me.
I had to rehash the past twelve hours to Mom but left out the part where Jayson came through my window, and we made out for hours after he declared he loved me.
Yeah, I don’t think that would go over well.
I did, however, tell her that last night Jayson and I decided to start dating, and he was my boyfriend now. I also mentioned that he kissed me and seeing him kiss me is what caused the fight between him and Ryder.
Mom was actually very understanding about everything, her parting words before I asked her permission to check on Jayson being, “It’s about time that boy made his move,” followed by “Your dad is going to have a fit that his little girl is dating now.” She laughed about that one.
So here I am, standing on the front porch next door, wringing my hands together, wondering what happens next.
“Hey, Lizzie,” Freda greets me as she opens the front door to let me in. “Jay’s upstairs in his room where he will be grounded for the next week until we leave for our trip. But you are more than welcome to come in. I’m going to make some soup and bring it up to him.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Oh, he’s pretty banged up, but he’ll live.
Nothing some ibuprofen and an ice pack won’t take care.
" She smiles, wanting to reassure me. “Honey, I’m not going to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable by trying to force you to tell me your side of the story. Jay already told me what happened. How are you feeling about things, sweetheart?”
“What?”
“Jay told me he asked you to be his girl, and you said yes. I’m assuming that's what the fight was about. But from my perspective, it seems as if you have been thrown in the middle of a tug-of-war between those two boys, and I can only imagine your confusion or how you must feel about things right now. I know you have your mom and dad and Hailey, but if you ever need someone else to talk to, I’m here too, sweetie. ”
“Thanks, Mrs. Jameson.”
“You can go on upstairs. I’ll bring his soup up later. Do you want me to bring you some, too?”
“No thanks. I appreciate it though. Is Julien upstairs with Jayson?” I ask as I start to ascend the stairs.
“No. Julien left a few minutes ago. Go on up, honey. I know Jay would love to see you.”
“Okay, thanks.”
I take my time walking down the hallway to the twin’s bedroom, examining the pictures Freda has hung all along the wall.
One in particular catches my attention. It’s a picture of me and the boys last Christmas standing beside a six-foot snowman we built.
Jayson is carrying me piggyback style, and Ryder and Julien have their arms slung around each other's shoulders.
Ryder has his other hand, his pinky finger, looped around mine.
Sadness befalls me. Will things ever be the same for us again?
Whatever happens now, I promised my heart to Jayson, knowing full well I still have feelings for Ryder.
I won’t be that girl, the one who pits one boy against another.
Jayson’s my boyfriend now, and I have to show him the respect and consideration that title entails.
It doesn’t mean, however, that I’m going to give up my friendship with Ryder.
But that's the hard part. How can we all remain friends in this new normal?
I get to the twin’s bedroom door and give a soft knock before opening it. Jayson’s propped up on his bed, phone in his hands. He’s changed clothes and looks like he also took a shower.
“Hey you.” I walk in.
I’m taken aback by the smile he graces me with, or at least tries to, seeing as his cheek is swollen and he has a black eye.
“Oh, Jayson.” I rush over to his bedside, but he pats the bed for me to come and sit beside him.
“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault,” I declare.
“Liz, what are you talking about? Nothing is your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I promised you everything was going to be okay."
I give him an incredulous look, because clearly, everything is not okay.
"I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen,” he continues.
“But what happened with Ryder—I have never seen him that angry before. You guys have never fought before. It scared the crap out of me. It’s all my fault. You wouldn’t be fighting if it wasn’t for me."
A tear leaks out of my eye and falls onto the comforter on his bed. Jayson sees my tear and pulls me into his arms. The shock of having his arms wrapped around me abruptly stops my tears. He clasps his hands around the back of my neck, his gray eyes looking directly into my green ones.
“Ry is my best friend. I will do whatever it takes to make things right... well, anything but give you up. Trust me to make things right.”
“Okay.”
Our voices are nothing but a murmur. My gaze roams his battered face, and I press gentle fingers to his various bruises.
His face may be a bit blue and purple, but Jayson is still one of the most handsome boys I have ever seen.
I decide to take matters into my own hands and lean up to kiss him.
He’s old enough to have a bit of stubble along his jaw, and I explore the texture and feel of it by caressing my face along his.
I keep things light knowing the bruise on the left side of his face must hurt and the cut on the corner of his mouth must sting.
I press kisses along his jaw, his neck, and back up to his cheek before pulling away. His sharp intake of breath clues me into the fact that he likes what I am doing. My nose presses into the side of his neck and I inhale his fragrant skin. He smells like cedar and spice.
Since he kissed me, I’ve been worrying that I wouldn’t know what to do or how to make him feel as good as his kisses make me feel. This is all new for me, and I know it’s new for Jayson as well. I love the fact that we are each other's first kiss.
“Liz?” Jayson says like a question, and I want him to kiss me again.
Before anything more can happen, Freda knocks on the bedroom door and our bodies jump apart at lightning speed. By the time she pushes the door open to bring in the tray filled with food, Jayson and I are sitting at opposite ends of his bed, him at the head of the bed and me at the foot.
“Hey you two. Here.” She hands Jayson two pain killers. “Take these and eat your soup. Liz, I know you said you weren’t hungry, but I brought extra just in case.”
She places the tray down on the bed between where Jayson and I are sitting.
“Your dad wants to talk to you after you finish eating, so unfortunately, Elizabeth, you’ll need to go home soon.”
“I understand Mrs. Jameson. I promise I won’t stay much longer.”
“You can come back tomorrow if you want to, but he’s still grounded for the next six days,” Freda says as she pauses at the door. “Oh, and an open-door policy is in effect from now on when there’s a girl in your room,” she says to Jayson.
“Mom! Oh my God.”
We can hear Freda chuckling all the way down the hall.