Chapter 26
Yes
“Hey Google. Play ‘Super Bass’ by Nicki Minaj,” I tell my home hub.
Once the music starts up, I begin shaking my butt to the beat while chopping lettuce for the salad I'm making for dinner.
Daniel had to make a quick trip to Charlotte today; something about putting out fires, whatever that means.
He'll stay overnight and drive back home tomorrow afternoon.
I assured him that I would be fine staying by myself and I promised that I would contact the Jamesons or the Cuttons if I needed anything.
Having Daniel gone for the night allows me the opportunity to play my music as loud as I want, and—the doorbell rings—have my boyfriend over.
“Hey, handsome.”
Ryder hefts me up in his arms and walks us inside, kicking the front door closed with the heel of his shoe.
“Hey, beautiful,” he replies against my lips before kissing me deeply. He sets me back down, but my legs are like Bambi the deer’s after that kiss.
“I'm almost done making a salad.”
“Yum. Rabbit food.”
I take his hand and pull him to the kitchen. “Salads are not rabbit food. They are healthy and nutritious, if you must know. That is something they should have already taught you in health class.”
Ryder grabs a carrot stick from the pile of veggies that I have already cut. “Must have missed that day.”
“Forgot to mention, I spoke to the cross-country running coach today at school. Late sign-ups are a no-go.”
Ryder sidles up next to me and kisses the top of my shoulder. “I'm sorry you don't get to be on the team.”
“Meh. It's alright. I'm not upset. I knew it was a long shot since I missed tryouts.”
“Are you planning on trying out for track in the spring?”
I pop up and peck his lips with a kiss. Once. Twice. Three times, until he's grinning and tickling me in retaliation.
“You are actually looking at the new Fallen Brook High 1500-meter middle distance runner.”
His grin grows. “Seriously?”
“Yep! During my free independent study period, Coach took me out to the track and timed my laps. I guess all those morning runs with Julien paid off.”
“Why didn't you tell me after school?”
“Because I wanted you to hear it first with nobody else around.”
The excitement on his face from my good news softens to something that looks like tenderness and love. In response, my heart rate kicks up a notch.
“Baby, I'm so proud of you,” Ryder congratulates me, smattering kisses all over my face and neck. “We need to celebrate.”
“No, first we need to eat, then study, then celebrate. We have that calculus test on Friday.”
He wraps his arms around me from behind and nuzzles my ear. “Don't remind me.”
I get lost in how his lips feel on my skin and how good he smells. I seem to forever be lost in everything Ryder.
A slow song starts playing on my home hub, and Ryder turns me around and lifts my arms to wrap around his neck. He places his hands on my hips and steps in close. “Dance with me?”
“Here?” I look around the kitchen.
“Here.” His copper eyes capture mine, the golden color deepening to a darker hue, making the green and yellow flecks of his irises stand out.
I rest my cheek to his shirt-clad chest and sigh. We don't really move much in our dance, just rock from side to side in an easy rhythm. “Ryder, why did I choose Jayson and not you?”
I feel him stiffen in my arms. Eventually he replies, “He asked first.”
I made a life-altering decision because Jayson asked me first? I’m really not impressed with Old Elizabeth.
Ryder looks down and sees my confused scowl. “What's that face for?”
“I was just thinking that old me was dumb as hell.”
He backs me up to the kitchen island and brackets me in with his arms on either side of me. “You were never dumb, Elizabeth, and I never once blamed you for choosing to be with him.”
A myriad of emotions run through me. Flickers of memories float to the surface before sinking back down again to drown in the wasteland of my injured mind.
“Ryder, since the day we met, my heart has been as much yours as Jayson’s.
And I’m done letting everyone make decisions for me.
I won’t do it anymore. Jayson keeps making plans for our future and I get no say in it.
How do I know what I want if I’m never given a choice, never given a chance to decide for myself?
I want you, Ryder. I want to be able to explore what this is between us.
I don’t want to live in anymore ‘what ifs.’”
“What about Jayson?”
“I love Jayson. He’s my best friend. But I love you, too. Things can’t continue the way they are now. I’m making a choice, Ryder, and I choose you.”
“Jayson isn’t going to sit back and allow you to be with me and not him. You know that. And I’m not sneaking behind his or Julien’s backs.”
“I know, and I’m not asking you to. The only thing I need to know is, do you want to be with me?”
“God, yes, I love you, Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth, say something.”
My memory releases me at the sound of his voice. “What?”
“Where'd you go? You kind of blanked out and kept repeating ‘what if.’”
“Oh, sorry. My mind wandered.”
Ryder is watching me with concern, and I play it off by stepping out of our dance to finish making the salads.
“I’m starving. Haven’t eaten since lunch. Hey, would you mind grabbing the Italian dressing from the fridge?”
I throw everything I have washed, chopped, and peeled into a large mixing bowl. Then I pour some dressing over it and toss it all with two large serving spoons.
“Want to eat outside on the back patio?” he asks, pouring us two glasses of iced tea.
“That sounds really nice. Oh, and Daniel is out for the evening.”
That gets his attention. “Oh, is he?”
I nod, biting my lower lip. “Uh huh. He won't be back until tomorrow afternoon.”
One eyebrow lifts. I love it when it does that. “Oh yeah?”
I giggle when he stalks toward me. “Yeah,” I say, and take off through the kitchen with Ryder in hot pursuit. I make it to edge of the living room before I'm lifted up and tossed over his shoulder. Ryder carries me in a fireman's hold down the hallway to my bedroom.
“What about dinner?” I ask, but I couldn’t care less.
Elizabeth is playfully slapping my back and laughing as I walk us down to her room.
Even though Daniel gave me permission to sleep over from time to time, I haven't done so since that first night when Elizabeth and I fell asleep on the sofa watching movies.
It's been really hard keeping our relationship a secret from the guys, and I'm tired of having to sneak around just to get five minutes of alone time with her. But not tonight.
“Ryder!” she screeches, breathless with laughter.
Once I get to her bedroom, I toss her onto her bed.
She bounces twice, her hair fanning out in a halo on the bedspread.
I'm standing at the foot of the bed looking down at her, a grin splitting my face because I'm happy.
I have loved Elizabeth for so long—have wanted her for so long—and it still hits me like a bolt of lightning when I look at her, knowing that she's finally mine.
She chose me this time. It's a gift that I will not ever take for granted.
We stare at each other, a playful challenge in her eyes, a dare in mine. And then, before our next breath, everything changes. Her smile falters and her eyes change color from a pale green to a deep emerald.
Sitting up, she splays her hands so that they span my abdomen, her touch causing my muscles to contract. “Ryder, I'm ready.”
I think I just forgot how to breathe. Possibly forgot how to speak as well since no response is coming out of my mouth.
She slides her hands up my chest. “Please Ryder. I want to be with you. I want it to be you. I want you to be my first.”
It dawns on me what she means. Elizabeth doesn’t remember being with Jayson, so for her, this would feel like her first time.
And she wants it to be with me.
“I want you so much,” she whispers, a pleading tone to her voice. And then she says the one thing I have so desperately wanted to hear from her since I was nine years old. “I love you, Ryder.”
Did she just tell me that she loves me? My heart almost bursts out of my chest. The thud against my ribcage is pounding and almost painful. Her hands slide farther up my torso until her left palm is over my thundering heart.
“I love you, Ryder. I hope it’s not too soon for me to say it, but I need to. I feel so much for you. It’s scary, and thrilling, and overwhelming at the same time. But I need to say it. I need you to know.”
I kneel down at her feet, leaning into her until our noses almost touch. “Elizabeth, I have loved you since the day we met.”
Her smile is so breathtakingly brilliant, it outshines the sun.
We close the scant inches separating us, and I capture her lips in a tender kiss.
We both seem to understand that what’s about to happen is something monumental.
Now is not the time to go fast. It’s a time for exploration.
A time for us to discover each other intimately.
A quiet hush falls over the darkened bedroom. I caress her exquisite face, my thumb rubbing back and forth over her bottom lip. She gifts me with a smile that makes my chest expand and ache at the same time.
I want her to understand how important she is to me. How precious. How much being with her means to me. “This is my first time too,” I confess.
Time slows down as she reaches for the button of my jeans. I can’t believe this is happening. This is really, finally, truly happening. I have never felt anything like this before. Elizabeth is everything I have ever wanted. And she’s finally mine.
“Ryder, I don't want to say or do anything to mess this up. I'm so nervous right now, my hands are shaking. But I want you to know, in case I don’t tell you later, that tonight means everything to me. You mean everything to me.”
Her words echo my thoughts. “I love you, Elizabeth. So much.”
She sighs and tilts her head to kiss my hand. “I love you too, Ryder.”
No more words are spoken as we fall into each other.