Chapter 27
A Beautiful Morning
“Babe,” a voice says as warm lips nuzzle my ear.
Nope. Not happening. I’m too warm and comfortable.
“Baby,” the voice, more insistent now but muffled because the owner of said voice is trailing a path of open-mouthed kisses down my neck. I come fully awake. “Time to wake up.”
“I’m very much awake now.”
I roll over. Ryder is propped up on bent elbow, his cheek resting on the ball of his hand. No one should look as good as Ryder does first thing in the morning.
“Your phone has been going off for ten minutes straight.”
“What time is it?” I yawn out.
Ryder pulls me closer to him and brushes my knotted hair away from my face with his hand. “Five in the morning.”
I scrunch my brows together. Oh no! I completely forgot about running with Julien this morning.
I reach over Ryder to grab my phone from the bedside table.
Doppelganger: Meet u at the park in 30.
Doppelganger: I'm here. Where r u
Doppelganger: Seriously Liz. Text or call me back.
Doppelganger: If I don't hear from u in 5 minutes, I'm coming to track you down.
His last text was two minutes ago.
Me: I'm SO sorry! I overslept. Raincheck?
Doppelganger: You feeling ok?
Me: Yeah. Just stayed up late studying for the Calc test. I promise to make it up to you. Bagels from the bakery?
Doppelganger: Throw in some cinnamon butter and it's a deal.
Me: Got it. Sorry again. See you at school
I toss my phone on the floor and pull Ryder on top of me.
“I forgot about Julien this morning. You must have fried my brain last night with awesome sex.”
Ryder starts laughing, making the bed shake. “Last night was perfect. You were perfect. This is perfect,” he says between punctuated kisses.
“No, we are perfect,” I say.
“Yes, we are. But it's time to get up and get ready for school.”
I whine with reluctance at being made to move out of his warm embrace. We spend a few more minutes cuddling before we sleepily drag ourselves out of bed.
Having Ryder sleep over and wake up next to me feels so natural. I like having him here like this. He showers while I make coffee and breakfast, and we eat together at the counter island. It's feels so normal. So grown up.
“Want to ride in with me this morning?” he asks. “On the way, I'll need to stop by the house to get some clean clothes.”
Opting to drive myself every morning, I haven't ridden to school with any of the guys.
What would Jayson think of me arriving to school with Ryder in his car?
Jayson has asked me several times if he could pick me up and take me to school, and each time I have said no.
Am I ready for him to find about me and Ryder?
Julien already knows about us. Heck, so do Meredith, Celeste, and Beth.
But I have to remember that I'm not the only one who gets to decide about when to tell Jayson.
Which reminds me—I haven't told Ryder that Julien and the girls are aware that we’re dating.
“Yeah. I'd like that a lot,” I reply. I pause. My stomach turns and I push my plate away from me, no longer hungry. “Um, I need to talk to you about something.”
Ryder takes a bite of toast. “What about?”
This is harder than I thought it would be. And why did I think it was a good idea to bring it up the morning after we made love for the first time? What’s wrong with me?
Screw it. Here we go. “Julien knows.”
“Knows what?”
“About us.”
“He does?”
I nod yes.
“Explain.”
My stomach drops because I can’t get a read on the situation.
Ryder and I agreed to keep us private from the rest of the guys, and I broke that promise without discussing it with him first. Isn’t that exactly what couples in a relationship are not supposed to do?
Relationships are supposed to be about trust and communication.
“It was the day at the beach, wasn’t it?” he guesses.
What?
“How do you know?”
“Baby.
Baby. Every time. Straight to my heart.
“You can’t get mad,” I say to him, and he just raises his dark brow at me. God, he’s so freaking sexy. “Something happened at the beach with Julien.”
“I'm not going to like this, am I?”
I rush on to explain. “Julien asked me to give him a chance.”
Before Ryder can respond, I hold my hand up telling him to wait. To hear me out first. He leans over and rests his elbow on the countertop, and I get distracted by how his biceps flex as he pushes himself to face me more. Where was I?
“He’s afraid I’m going to disappear again or be taken away from you guys, and he panicked. So, yeah, he asked me to give him a chance, and I told him that I was in love with you.”
Ryder’s chest rises with a deep inhale. “You told him that?”
“Yes, I did. And he and I talked. It was a good talk. He got a lot of stuff off his chest…” I trail off. My hands are doing gymnastics on the countertop, and Ryder reaches over to still them.
“Okay,” he says.
Okay?
“Okay? You're not mad?”
He walks over and pulls my bar stool closer to him, his gorgeous light brown eyes taking possession of my worried green ones. “No, I’m not mad.”
My sigh is one of relief. That’s what I had assumed, but you know the saying about those who assume.
Ryder takes my hand and plays with my fingers. “As for what Julien asked you, I get where he was coming from. The three of us kind of went a little crazy when we didn’t know what happened to you.”
“It upsets me that you guys feel like that.”
He makes a humming noise and brings my hand up to press a kiss to the underside of my wrist.
“Ryder?”
“Yeah?”
“Meredith, Celeste, and Beth know, too,” I say in a teeny, tiny voice.
He starts laughing.
“It just slipped out the other night when I was with the girls.”
“I love you, you crazy girl,” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“Ryder?” I say again.
Still laughing, he replies, “Yeah?”
“Just like I made Julien promise, you have to promise me you’ll come to me first, about anything.
Anything you’re feeling or anything that worries you.
Especially about what happened to me and my parents.
No guilt. Ever. None of what happened to me is your fault.
You need to promise me that you’ll talk to me if you ever think that. Okay?”
He kisses me. “Okay.”