Chapter 35 #2
“It’s not what you think. Just open it.” He places the box on the counter in front of me. I eye it like it’s full of snakes waiting to jump out at me. “Liz, open the stinking box.”
“Okay. Fine,” I grouse, but I don’t make a move to touch it.
“Liz.”
“Okay!” I slam my mug down and grab the box. I lift the lid just a fraction. Good, no snakes. I pop it open the rest of the way. Inside is a large heart-shaped locket like the ones you put pictures in. It’s gold and has intricate filigree designs.
“Turn it over.”
I do. Inscribed on the back are all of our names: Liz, Jayson, Julien, Ryder. Opening the locket, I see two small pictures of the four of us. One side has a picture of me and guys from when we were kids; the other side from when we were teenagers.
Some powerful emotion washes over me at that moment, and I lose it. Right there. Just sink down onto the floor and cry. Jayson sits down beside me and lifts me into his lap.
“It’s beautiful, Jayson,” I cry, tears that I can’t stop, streaming down my cheeks.
He takes the box out of my clenched hand and removes the necklace, then places it around my neck and hooks the clasp. I touch the gold heart with shaking fingers.
“You can decide later if you want to switch the pictures inside of it. But I wanted you to have something so it wouldn’t be empty.”
I close my eyes, wanting to remember the days that the two pictures inside the locket were taken.
Instead, a picture of me and Jayson floats near the surface.
There’s a memory there and I grab it, forcing it forward.
I’m opening a silver star. The same as the ones from my dreams. The same as the ones hanging from my bedroom ceiling.
The ones from Jayson. Inside one of the stars is a hand-written message: “a daughter who has your eyes and your smile.”
I don’t know what comes over me. I don’t know why I do it.
But I kiss him. I kiss him right there on the kitchen floor.
My mouth on his. His breath becoming mine.
Jayson gasps at the contact of my lips on his and I feel that too.
I feel it like a bucket of cold water. What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?!
I shove away from him and scramble up from the floor. My chest is heaving so hard, I feel like I may pass out from the exertion
“Liz, wait.”
But I don’t. I run out of the room and out of the house. I run until I get to my car. Why did I do that? What is the matter with me? I turn the ignition on and drive. I drive for half an hour, navigating unfamiliar streets, until I find myself parked in the driveway of my house.
My phone’s reminder alarm pings and I notice the time when I unlock the screen. Crap! I only have a half hour before I have to be at school.
My heart is beating a mile a minute. I take a few deep breaths.
I love Ryder. I want Ryder. I’m angered by my memories that keep suddenly appearing out of the blue and sabotaging me.
The secret that I told Fallon was the truth.
I’m afraid of remembering. I’m terrified that what Jayson told Ryder last night might come true.
I won’t allow it. I’ll fight it. I’m a fighter.
I’ve proven over these past several months that I am.
And I will fight for Ryder. I take out my phone and text Fallon.
Me: Another secret?
Fallon: I’m afraid of bunnies.
I fall back against my car seat and dissolve into a fit of laughter.
Me: Thanks. I needed that.
Fallon: You and my boy. Party. My house. 2nite.
Fallon: 8 pm. Be there. Ry needs to let loose and have some fun.
Me: Alright.
I wait a couple of extra minutes before I exit my car. As soon as I unlock the front door and step inside, Daniel is sitting at the breakfast nook table. He looks up from his tablet.
“Good morning, sweetheart. Have a good run?”
“Yeah. Running a little behind, so I need to take a quick shower and get to school before the first period bell. Is Ryder still here?”
“As far as I know. I think I heard the shower turn off about ten minutes ago.”
Again, I appreciate and love Daniel for how cool he is with Ryder being here. “If I don’t say it enough, Daniel, I love you.”
My proclamation must shock him because he looks over at me with wide eyes. “I love you, too, Lizzie.”
I give Daniel a quick kiss to his cheek and make my way to my bedroom. “Ryder?” I call out.
“Back here, babe.”
I find him in the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and shaving lather covering his jaw. He swipes up his chin with a razor, then taps it and rinses it under the faucet. So freaking sexy.
The way Ryder's stuff keeps popping up in the house, it wouldn't surprise me if he’s fully moved in by the end of month. Some of his clothes are now living in my chest of drawers, and I bought him some bathroom stuff to keep here like a toothbrush and disposable razors.
“They have electric ones, you know.”
“I like it the old-fashioned way. How was your run?”
“Julien and I talked for most of it. I also confronted to Jayson.”
Ryder side-eyes me. He finishes shaving and puts the razor down. Taking a hand towel, he wipes the remaining lather off his face. “I really wish you wouldn’t have.” Turning, he rests his hip against the bathroom vanity, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
I lift my right hand. “I punched him, then threatened to sick Fallon on him.”
Ryder’s sharp bark of laughter has me smiling.
“Jayson promised to apologize to you today. I hope that you will hear him out and let him.”
I reach for his face, wanting to feel its clean-shaven smoothness and breathe in the lingering scent of his shaving foam. It doesn’t surprise me that he sees the necklace almost immediately. His fingers trace down the chain then lift the locket.
“Jay give you this?” Ryder turns it over and reads the inscription.
“Yes.”
“It’s beautiful.”
This boy. This considerate, wonderful boy.
“I love you so much, Ryder Cutton.”
I know I must appear a mess right now. My skin is itchy with dried sweat.
My face is blotchy from crying—which I hope Ryder attributes to me running outside.
My hair is a tangled web of blond and pink that has escaped the ponytail I had it in.
But Ryder is looking at me with nothing but love in his eyes.
“I love you too, Elizabeth.” He kisses me sweetly. “And you’re going to be in so much trouble later tonight.”
“Why?”
“I found your notes.”