Chapter 37
The Return
The following weeks fly by, and before I know it, Halloween is only days away.
Fallon is planning a Halloween party, and I promised him that Ryder and I would come.
Meredith took me costume shopping last week.
She found this gorgeous angel costume with white feathered wings. I’m going to be a monarch butterfly
Jayson and Ryder continue to circle one another, but Jayson kept his promise.
He apologized and there have been no more fights.
I still run with Julien every morning. The four of us still eat breakfast together a few times a week.
Ryder still occasionally sleeps over at the house, but only on weekends now since his parents are insisting that he stay home during the school week.
We all still have movie nights and bad karaoke at Belly’s. We’re still a family.
Julien’s pink shirt finally arrived, and he was a good sport about wearing it. He and Elijah also made up and are back to being a happy couple.
Jayson continues to leave me silver origami stars in my bag or in my locker. It’s gotten to the point where I have to hide them in my closet. I took down the ones I hung from my ceiling and stored them all in a large jar that I keep hidden in my closet.
Ryder and I have been hanging out with Fallon more. He met up with us a couple of times at the Fields. Meredith, Trevor, and I continue to meet every Wednesday evening for our study group at their house.
A week ago, Daniel bought me a standup piano.
It’s sitting in the living room across from the bay window.
I’ve been writing music again. Last night, Ryder and I played an impromptu duet for Daniel of one of my dad’s songs.
Ryder had sheet music for it and gave me a copy.
I know I still can’t remember my dad, but playing music that he composed himself made me happy, like I was connecting with him in some way.
All in all, things have been quiet, and I'm finally feeling comfortable with my new life. I'm happy. I'm in love with a great guy who loves me back, and I have some really awesome friends. Life is good.
“Hey, babe?” Ryder calls to me from the kitchen.
“Yeah?”
“Fallon just texted. He wants me to come over to look at a new car he bought. Want to come with?” He walks into the living room. My heartbeat flutters wildly like it always does when I see him.
“I need to study for a history test tomorrow. Rain check?”
Ryder sits down beside me. I naturally gravitate toward him. I lean into his side and he wraps those strong arms around me, placing a kiss on my shoulder.
“I’m meeting him at the Fields. I’ll text you when we're done. Shouldn’t be later than eight,” he says, his voice muffled against my skin.
“Would you mind picking up those vegan tacos I like so much?”
“I can do that.” He gets up from the couch and kisses me one last time. “I promise I won’t be gone long.”
“While you're out having fun, my face is going to be shoved in this history textbook for the next couple of hours.”
“I love you!” he calls out, opening the front door.
“I love you too!” I holler back as the front door closes.
Grabbing my phone, I see that there’s a text from Jayson. I really should change his screen name.
ScaryGuy: Place is too quiet. What r u doing?
Julien is playing an away game in Charlotte this evening, but Jayson couldn't go with his parents to watch because he had swim practice after school today. Their fall season is starting up.
Me: About to start studying.
ScaryGuy: Want some company? Fam won't be back until much later.
Me: Can I text u when I’m done?
ScaryGuy: NP. I’ll be here.
I grab my bag from the floor. As I pull out my textbook, another origami star falls out. Jayson must have somehow put it in there at school. I always read his notes. I know I shouldn’t. What I should do is tell Jayson to stop giving them to me. I unfold the paper.
“If love was like time, mine would be eternity.”
I sigh and get up. Holding the delicate piece of paper in my hand, I walk into my bedroom and open my closet door to retrieve the jar.
My eyes alight on a banker's box that I've never noticed before.
Taking it out, I place it in on the bedroom floor and sit down cross-legged next to it.
Lifting the lid, I peer inside and see a treasure trove of my past. Did Daniel box this up from my old room?
There are pictures, hand-written papers, tiny trinkets, and sheets of music.
I look at the pictures first. Most of them I recognize as pictures the boys have already shown me.
I take out a few of me and Ryder so I can create a memory board with them.
There are several binders and scrapbooks.
I pick one up and open it. It’s filled with hand-written poetry.
I notice the name Hailey scribbled at the top of each.
There are dozens of hand-written sheets.
Some written in a childish penmanship, others in elegant cursive.
The first one is titled: “Elizabeth and Her Princes.” I read it.
I read them all. I don’t realize I’m crying until I see tear marks on the last poem I’m holding.
The ink on the paper runs as my tears dissolve the words.
I pick up another binder. This one is a scrapbook.
There are drawings and love hearts all over it.
The front says “All Our Next Times” in big, bold lettering.
I open the cover. The pages are filled with photographs, doodles, dried flowers, wrinkled pieces of paper, butterfly cut-outs, seashells, a bag of black sand, and snippets of ribbon.
The scrapbook chronicles my love story with Jayson.
From the night he first kissed me and told me he loved me, to our first date, to the night we made love for the first time, and every time in between.
I find another photo and flip it over. It’s another one of me and Ryder.
We’re standing together in what looks like a field.
We’re in front of a dirt bike and Ryder is holding a helmet under one arm, his dark hair sticking up at the top.
Our pinkies are linked. I smile as I touch the photograph.
My gorgeous, handsome boyfriend. I place the photo with the others of him and me.
I find a photo of me and Jayson. Jayson's kneeling down in front of me at a cardboard replica of the Eiffel Tower. Wait, I dreamed that before, didn’t I?
My breath comes out in strained puffs and I feel like I can’t get any oxygen in.
Flashes of twinkling lights flicker across my line of sight and my vision tunnels, my bedroom and everything around me fading to black.
Wave after wave of memories overtake me.
It's like I'm drowning in them. A stabbing pain shoots behind my eyes and my head throbs painfully. I call out to Ryder, but no sound leaves my throat. As my mind starts to go under, pulling me down in its relentless grip, I try to think of Ryder. But it’s not Ryder who appears before I succumb to the darkness.
It's Jayson.