Chapter 13
Nordurljosavegur
I have never seen anyone more excited to see snow and hot water than Elizabeth. I thought she would get a kick out of seeing the blue lagoon, so I arranged for us to stay at a retreat in Nordurljosavegur instead of going to Reykjavik.
When she saw the blue waters of the hot thermal springs for the first time, she proclaimed, “The blue is almost like the color of your eyes.”
She took off her gloves and touched the heated water, an expression of surprised pleasure exploding across her face.
I’m going to make it my priority to put that wonderous look on her face every day she’s with me.
Because I know there’s an end date to our little adventure.
I’m not the guy who will get the girl at the end of the story. I’m not one of her princes.
“Kitten, what’s taking you so long?” I call to her from the living area while looking out of the floor-to-ceiling windows.
I watch the steam rise from the thermal stream that runs right next to our room. The snow-covered rocky terrain abutting the blue waters creates a majestic contrast between ice and heat. It reminds me of the dichotomy between Elizabeth and me. Ice and heat. Light and dark. Angel and devil.
“I’m not sure I’m ready to do this,” she says from the other room. I’d told her to put on a bathing suit so we could take a dip in the lagoon before dinner.
“Get your butt out here or I’m coming in to get you.”
“Not fair! There are no doors in this place,” she grumbles, and I chuckle.
Elizabeth tentatively walks out of the back room and my mind goes blank for a second. She’s wearing a two-piece bikini set we found in a boutique in New York City. My gaze sweeps her face then travels down to her legs. Kill me now.
“Stop looking at me like that, Fallon.” She tries to cover herself using her arms and hands
“How am I looking at you?” I cock my head at her.
“You know.”
I do know, but I can’t help it. She’s beautiful. I walk up to her, moving her hands away to dangle by her sides. I trail my fingers up her arms and she pulls in a shaky breath. Should I tempt fate and see how long she’ll let me touch her this way?
I lean in to whisper in her ear. “Let’s go and enjoy ourselves, shall we? Don’t forget to put on your robe and slippers.”
I walk out of the suite, leaving a dazed and confused Elizabeth standing uncertainly in the middle of the room.
The days in Iceland in November are short. The sun sets around five in the afternoon. By the time we got out here, it was already dark. Elizabeth is mostly submerged under the water, her arms over a noodle as she floats next to me. Every so often she’ll wiggle her fingers in the water and sigh.
“This feels so unbelievably good.”
“Told you.
She flicks some water at me. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Depends on the question,” I answer, and she starts to giggle. “Did I say something funny?”
“Don’t you remember?” she asks me.
I dunk my head under the water and come back up, then fold my arms over my noodle.
“You said basically the same thing to me at Curtis’s party.”
“Did I? I don’t remember much of that night. I’m pretty sure I was both wasted and high at the time.”
It wasn’t until Elizabeth’s car accident that I stopped smoking completely. I don’t drink much anymore, either. Knowing it was some drunk punk who killed her parents as well as causing her car accident was enough of a reason for me to quit those bad habits
Her smile disappears. “Yeah, you did. I’m proud of you for stopping. Gum is a much better alternative.”
Why does hearing her say that she’s proud of me inject such an enormous surge of joy straight into my blackened heart?
“You shouldn’t be. I’m still a massive asshole.”
“Not to me.”
I almost laugh out loud at her naivete because she couldn’t be more wrong.
I don’t know why Elizabeth now sees me through rose-colored glasses.
We bicker all the time. And I secretly love every minute of it.
But what happens when the tint fades and those glasses come off? Will she still see the me she sees now?
She floats closer to me and grabs ahold of my arm. “Have you ever had a girlfriend, Fallon?”
“Nope. I don’t do relationships.”
“Ahh, so you’re a one-and-done kind of guy. Got it. Have you ever been in love?”
I don’t answer.
“Julien once told me that my capacity for love is infinite. I guess, maybe, that’s how I can love him, Jayson, and Ryder at the same time.
For me, that’s just how it’s always been, ever since we were kids.
” She gives a mirthless chuckle. “God. With my memories back, I can remember all of it, and it’s a little freaky seeing things through new eyes, you know?
” she says, but I continue to stay quiet, listening to her musings with interest.
“A lot of people would think that the relationships I grew up having with the three of them are not normal. But who is to say what’s normal or not?
To us, what we had was perfectly normal.
It was perfectly us. I was selfish, though, to think I could have everything and not sacrifice anything in return. ”
I stop her there as what she says strikes a nerve. “Kitten, I think you have sacrificed more than most.”
The heartache this girl has been through in the past year would cripple a lesser person. She’s a fighter, though. I hope that ‘kidnapping’ her like I did helps give her the time she needs to heal.
Elizabeth turns those shrewd green eyes on me. “Not when compared to my parents, Jayson, Ryder, Julien, and Hailey.”
She blinks a few times like she’s trying to stop the tears from gathering. Using the strength I know exists within her, she plows on with her previous discussion, not allowing the melancholy to overtake her.
Without missing a beat, she states, “But I think there’s a difference between loving someone and falling in love with someone. Love changes and evolves over time, don’t you think?”
I watch the misty vapor rise from the water while listening to her melodic voice.
Hating to bust her bubble, I reply, “Love is just an illusion. It’s a word used to justify possession and jealousy.
If love were real, it would last. Couples say they love one another then break up a year later.
A husband will tell his wife he loves her every day, then he goes off and has affairs with other women and cheats on her.
Parents say they love their children, then ignore them or abuse them. True love doesn’t exist.”
“You’re wrong, Fallon.”
I look at her in disbelief. “Am I? You can’t even decide who you love, Elizabeth.
Your entire life, you’ve been manipulating two guys who you claim to be in love with.
One of them is my friend who deserves so much better than constantly pining away for a girl who can’t make up her own damn mind.
That’s not love. That’s you being scared and a coward. ”
Even as they spill from my mouth, I instantly regret my words which were spoken in the heat of the moment because I’m jealous.
I want what my friend has. Jayson and Ryder both have her love.
Christ, add Julien in the mix too because he also owns a part of her heart.
What’s left of her for me? Nothing except a confused girl who only came to me for help.
“Screw you, Fallon! How dare you presume to know anything about me or how I feel? I have loved more deeply than your cold heart could ever comprehend. I ran because I’m broken and no good to anyone right now, including myself.
I survived a car accident. I was rebuilding my life.
A new life. One that I cherished and wanted more than anything.
Then that was taken from me too! So screw you! ”
Elizabeth shoves her noodle at me and swims away, heading back in the direction of the hotel.
“Elizabeth!” I yell after her.
She doesn’t stop, but she does give me the middle finger as she gets out of the water and puts on her robe.
I immediately go after her and eventually catch up to her once we’re both inside of the suite.
She glares at me when I approach her with a look that would tell any halfway smart man to back off and leave her alone. Apparently, I’m not that smart.
“Hey, don’t storm off like that again.”
She grabs her suitcase from the closet and begins throwing items haphazardly into it. If she thinks I’ll let her walk out of this room—allow her to leave me—she is out of her mind. I yank the case from the bed and throw it across the floor.
Her glare turns into a sneer. “You are such an immature asshat.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know.”
She tries to move past me, but I block her escape. I’ll get physical with her if I need to. She’s not leaving.
“Elizabeth,” I solemnly say because there is nothing more I can say at this moment that will calm her anger towards me.
Tears leak down her cheeks and I want to fall to my knees to beg her forgiveness for being the cause of her current pain. She clenches her hands into tight fists like she is preparing to punch her way out of the room to get away from me.
“You’re so wrong, Fallon. Love is real. It’s not selfish or possessive.
I love my sister. I love Ryder so very much.
I love Jayson and Julien. I love Daniel.
I love my parents. If I could have given my life in exchange for theirs, I would have done so without a second’s thought.
It should have been me that night and not them. ”
Her tears are my undoing. “Please don’t ever say that again.” It scares me that she would so easily contemplate giving up her own life like that. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth.”
Her face heats and her eyes blaze like an emerald inferno. “You can take your apology and shove it straight up your ass. I don’t want it.”
“You want to fight, kitten? I’m more than ready to take your punches and your verbal blows. If that’s what you need right now, then bring it on.”