Chapter 13 #2
She finally allowed herself to cry a couple of nights ago. Is this the next stage she needs to go through in order to heal?
“I hate you,” she seethes.
“No, you don’t.”
She slams her hands against me and pushes at my chest with all her might. I have to admit, it hurts. She may look delicate, but there’s no denying she is strong. She’s a fighter.
“Get out of my way, Fallon.”
“Make me,” I taunt her, and she growls in frustration.
She needs this release, and I wasn’t joking about being her literal punching bag. Elizabeth has been bottling so much inside of her, it’s inevitable that she’s primed to blow. No one can keep that much pain locked up tight without it leaking out like toxic waste.
She shoves me again, pure fury overtaking her common sense.
Most guys know not to challenge me, but this slip of a girl is standing before me full of furious indignation.
And I want it. I want her anger and her hatred.
I crave her passion and fire. And even though I told her that love was not real, I would sell my soul to Lucifer himself for her to share her love with me.
Even with the knowledge that it would be taken away once she finally chooses who she wants to be with, it would be worth it.
“I want to kiss you so bad right now.” I snarl the words at her.
Elizabeth doesn’t even blink. “Then do it.”
She may not have blinked at my threat, but I do at hers.
“Do it, Fallon. I dare you.”
I hesitate.
“I didn’t think so,” she says and tries to barrel past me.
The devil that lurks inside of me wants to be set free. Wants her to see how dangerous I can be. I grab her arms and wrench them up above her head, then slam her back against the wall, pinning her in place with my body. She yelps in surprise.
“You say I don’t know you, kitten, but you don’t know me.”
“Let me go, Fallon.” She tries to buck me off her.
I shake my head. “Not a chance.”
She twists her hands in my tight grip and I increase the pressure on her wrists.
“Let me go, Fallon. Now.” Her rage just makes me want her more.
I search her face. For what, I couldn’t say.
Suddenly, her movements still and she says in a hushed voice, “Ask me to close my eyes and tell you who I see.”
“No,” I grit out and press her harder against the wall, causing a picture frame to fall off and crash to the floor. I can’t bear to hear her say Ryder’s or Jayson’s name.
“I see you, Fallon. I see the guy who took me in, no questions asked. With my memories returned, I can now see the guy who has protected me behind the scenes for years without me even knowing about it. I see the guy who thinks he’s not worthy of love but deserves it more than anyone else.
I see the guy who is kind and caring and supportive. ”
“Stop it, Elizabeth.”
“Fallon—” she says, and I shut her up the only way I know how. I steal from her the one thing I’ve been coveting since the day I first saw her at the Fields. I kiss her.
It’s not a pretty kiss or a nice kiss. It’s not a playful kiss. It’s a kiss filled with anger and hurt. I kiss Elizabeth, taking what I want from her. I can feel bad about it later.
I release her hands, and she shoves me back, breaking our kiss. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“You make me crazy.”
“You still shouldn’t have done that.”
“You wouldn’t shut up.”
We stare at one another for a minute until she cracks up, her laughter causing mine to follow.
“We are so messed up,” she half-heartedly says.
I take full responsibility for what just happened, but I don’t regret it.
“Messed up and completely damaged and unrepairable,” I agree.
“But perfect in a non-perfect way.”
“I don’t even know what that means,” I reply. “I’m sorry. I have a habit of reacting before thinking. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or unsafe around me. I’m sorry that I kissed you.”
Elizabeth pulls back and tips her face up to look at me. She lifts the chain from around her neck and holds it up to me. I never gave it much attention before. Every girl I know wears jewelry of some kind.
“Jayson gave this to me. Want to know what happened when he did?”
I give her a small head tilt in askance.
“I reacted before I thought. I kissed him. Then I ran out of his house, got into my car, and texted you. That was right before I went home and kissed Ryder and told him that I loved him. So, you see, I understand better than most about doing something stupid in the heat of the moment.”
“Like slamming you up against a wall and kissing you?” I ask and she nods.
“Exactly like that. Just don’t let it happen again, okay.”
A flicker of light catches my eye outside.
“Look, kitten.” I point at the glow coming through the floor-to-ceiling windows. She turns her face, and when her gaze reaches where I’m pointing, she gasps aloud.
“Oh, my God!” she gushes, seeing the auroras for the first time. “Oh, Fallon. It looks like the sky is painted like a watercolor. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
I want to tell her she’s wrong—she’s the most beautiful thing.
“Go put on some dry clothes and we can sit out on the terrace and watch. I’ll order us some dinner too.”
I should change as well, but instead I go out on the terrace and move the two seats next to one another to form a makeshift love seat. Calling room service, I order dinner and two large hot chocolates, thinking Elizabeth would enjoy having some while we watched the auroras.
As I wait for her to come outside, I recall something Elizabeth said to me on the plane before we reached Iceland.
She told me she had a feeling this journey with me was going to irrevocably change her life in more ways than just deciding which Elizabeth she was going to be.
“Perhaps another Elizabeth will emerge along the way,” she said. Could that Elizabeth belong to me?
When I hear her step out onto the terrace, I motion for her to come over and sit down. “I’ll be right back,” I tell her and go inside to put on some warm clothes and grab a couple of bottles of water.
Room service shows up with our food and I have them bring it out onto the terrace so we can have dinner while watching nature’s iridescent light show in the dark evening sky.
While we eat in silence, I watch Elizabeth while she watches the auroras.
It’s amazing how expressive her face is.
I can see her every emotion and the wonder that lights up her gaze has me discretely taking out my phone and snapping a picture.
My thumb hovers over the share button as I contemplate sending the picture to Ry, but I turn off the phone instead and slip it back into my pocket.
“Thank you for the hot cocoa. It’s a perfect dessert,” she says, picking up a large, half-melted marshmallow and popping it into her mouth. She licks the stickiness off her thumb and smiles.
“Hmm,” I hum in reply.
I feel Elizabeth snuggle up to me and press her head against my shoulder, the mug of hot chocolate gripped in her right hand. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and rest my head on top of hers.
“When I was eleven and Hailey was ten, Mom took us to the art museum in Raleigh. Have you ever visited?”
“Several times,” I answer, dipping my nose slightly so I can inhale her fragrant hair.
She takes a sip of her hot drink. “Hailey was bored out of her mind. She would sit on the benches in each room and write in her notebook. I loved it, however. Well, everything except the modern stuff. That type of art, I don’t think I’m savvy enough yet to understand.
It’s like that painting of all white that people joke about that says it’s of a rabbit in a snowstorm. ” Her light chuckle has me grinning.
“Don’t tell my dad that. He just spent a half a mil on a modern piece to go in the lobby of the main building of Montgomery Pharma.”
She puts her mug down and turns in the seat to look at me. “A half a million dollars?”
“Yep.”
“For a painting?” she asks to make sure she’s hearing me right.
“Yep.”
Shaking her head, she settles back into my side. “You rich people are such odd ducks.”
They say money is the root of all evil. It can be.
Yes, we can buy five-hundred-thousand-dollar pieces of useless crap, but we also use our money to help others.
Dad secretly funds a nonprofit he started ten years ago that helps build schools, hospitals, and women’s shelters around the world.
Montgomery Pharma provides medicines free-of-charge to those who can’t afford them.
Our family isn’t like the other big pharmaceutical companies that jack up the costs on their stuff by five hundred percent.
Everything our company produces, we keep at generic prices.
“Anyway,” she continues, pointing up at the sky. “My comment about the auroras looking like a watercolor reminds me of this painting I saw at the museum that day. It had these streaks and swirls of greens in it. I wish I could remember the name,” she says, her words trailing off as she yawns.
It takes about five minutes before she drifts off to sleep. I wait another thirty before I pick her up, take her inside to her bed, and tuck her in.
“Sweet dreams, kitten,” I whisper and walk into my room. I never get around to texting Ryder.