Chapter 25
Dear Elizabeth,
Everywhere I look, I see you. You haunt me every second of the day.
When I’m asleep. When I’m awake. My arms reach for you and you’re not there.
I know I have no right to think these things.
Not after what I said and what I did. I wonder where you are tonight as the best and the worst year of my life comes to an end.
It was the worst because we lost you after the car accident.
It was the worst because I found out about the cancer.
It was the worst because I finally had you, and then I lost you again.
It was the best because you asked for our ‘what if.’ It was the best because you came back.
And even when you couldn’t remember, your heart found mine.
Every dream I had ever wished came true when we kissed in the music room at the store.
When you told me you loved me. When we made love for the first time. Does that dream still exist anymore?
As the new year begins, know that I will miss you every day. I will love you every day. I don’t know if I can fight this cancer, and I’m scared. I still can’t put my fears into words yet. I hope that one day I’ll be able to. I hope that one day you’ll forgive me.
Happy New Year, my sweet Elizabeth.
Forever and always,
Ryder